Another selfish man thread

No, I get it.

When we were first together, my dad, who was great at DIY came over with a new loo seat, a couple of shelves and bits and bobs.

My husband sat in the bedroom on his Xbox like a teenager while my dad got on with it. I did say, can you come out, have a chat, bring him a tea? (My dad was one of those men who liked to do a bit of DIY “bonding” with other men, he would have liked to have had a chat with dh, asked him to pass the screwdriver, you know what I mean).

He just sat there all afternoon like a 15 year old. I said, “you know, he’s doing all this, it would be nice if you could at least go and have a tea with him.”

”I didn’t ask him to do it” was his reply. (And no, he doesn’t have any redeeming features).

So I get where you are coming from. Your dad is doing something to help you both out. Him sticking around and a few nice words is the least he can do.

YABU.

It's always twins...

I’d have thought with your dad being a joiner, that he would have taught you some basic DIY over the years. Maybe you can ask him to show you when he comes over 🤷🏻‍♀️

I agree. I hate it when a wife is useless at sewing. They should embarrassed to get other people to take up curtains or make a cushion! It’s a pink job!

It's a fucking curtain pole

It doesn’t take both of you to be home to help the person who’s coming to helping you, it’s overkill.

You making out this is a male job and it’s an issue that your husband can’t do it himself is sexist and one could ask why you haven’t learned to do it yourself?

How old are your children? Unless they’re 5 or under you can’t really use them as an excuse as to why you can’t help your Dad.

Were all quick to preach equal rights for women etc so why is putting up a curtain pole suddenly out of the question for a female?

I really don't think I would care about this one bit

“You are not asking to build a house, it's a bloody curtain pole”…….. So why can’t OP do it? Unless there is a drop feed that the twins are 2 weeks old and she had a C-section.

But that's not the problem. The problem is that he won't be present for the occasion of putting the rod up. Even though there are TWINS!

How about that!

Surely you can just put up a curtain pole if your husband won’t do it? Unless you’re disabled? Bit embarrassing neither of you can do it and you’ve asked you dad to come do it 🙈

My dad would not have given a single fuck if DH went out and left me to help with the curtain. I don't get it.

I am on your side. I HATE when husband/boyfriend is useless in DIY. You are not asking to build a house, it's a bloody curtain pole.

What? Why do you both need to stay in. Surely people don’t expect that do they? A curtain pole won’t take ten minutes. It’s pointless you both bring there

Presumably because those of us ‘sticking up’ for the DH don’t see how he’s done anything wrong here at all.

He’s putting up a curtain pole. That’s it. It’s hardly some occasion that both of them need to be present for.

I’ve been out when my in laws have visited, and my husband has been out when my family have as well. Similarly, neither side have had every member present when we’ve visited them. Genuinely do not see the problem whatsoever.

I don't see anything wrong with your hubby going out, at all. How tough a job do you think a rail is?

I don't think putting a curtain pole up is a family occasion. I put one up myself a few weeks ago. No audience required. Also if your husband is 55 and your twins are young enough that they can't be left alone for half an hour he's probably going to the gym to get a break from very small children when he's pushing 60.

For me, its because its her dad and it doesn't take the whole family to be there watching him screw a curtain pole into the wall

If it was his mum or dad that he had asked then I would expect him to stay and have a brew with them before or after but I don't think everyone needs to stay in for the visit

I went to my inlaws to collect some stuff for them to take to the tip, I'd have found it really wierd if my mother in law hadn't gone to her social club that morning just because I was popping in to do them a favour.

Maybe, OP, you should stop taking your father for granted, and pay for a joiner to come and do your odd jobs? Like an adult. Then you can all relax on a Sunday.

This is probably the case, and so what would make most sense and actually be helpful would be for the DH to take the kids out.

My Dad would've said to DH "d'you want to escape from your wife ( ie my dads's daughter) for a while and we'll get on with the curtain rail?".

The OPs Dad probably has his own way of working and might just fancy a quiet catch up with his own daughter ?

Should op also be embarrassed that her dad needs to come to do the pole and she can't do it?

I can't see what the problem is. I also don't think you DH has anything to be embarrassed about. Some people aren't great at DIY or just don't want to do it. Sounds like your dad Is more than Happy to help and probably enjoys it. It doesn't take more than 1 person to put up a curtain rod. What would your DH be doing if he was there just standing and watching?

What's with all the pp sticking up for OP's H?

As OP rightly pointed out this is THEIR home and OP's Dad is kindly coming over to do a job for THEIR benefit. He isn't a paid tradesman,. He is a relative doing THEM a favour

Whdido guys like OP's H get to go off and do their own thing and expect their DW and her family to facilitate the upkeep of the home and look after the children?

He could at least try and show some interest and manners by staying at home while OP's Dad does this favour that benefits his family home