Another selfish man thread

What does his age have to do with this? He's still a parent.

And hubby is 55! Let him go out xx

Exactly

Blue job? Anybody job. Women can put up curtain poles.

How about the OP pops out to the gym at the same time and the kids and grandad can put up the curtain pole 😂?

I'm a bit suspicious of parents who just 'pop out' tbh. My friend once popped round to the shop to get some milk when the kids were asleep and came home to find no adult in the house. Her DH had just 'popped out' for a run without telling her and assumed she was still at home with the kids. Admittedly, their marriage is in trouble and it does seem to have turned into a competition as to who can leave the house first and land the other one with the DC.

Do you think the same when married people go to cafes? After all, there is tea and coffee at home.

And married people in restaurants? They can just eat at home!

Cinema? Films at home...Supermarket, when there is online shopping? Pub? Can buy drinks at home...

I mean why go anywhere if you are married?

My DH goes to the gym a lot now that he is in his 50s. He does a lot more weight lifting than cardio these days and a lot of the cardio you described he can no longer do as he broke his ankle a year ago and due to osteoporosis, it's very fragile. I walk my dogs and ride my ponies but I find the gym is excellent for helping me build muscle and keep my core strong. Walking and riding simply are not enough in my 50s.

Another one who is #TeamDH. Can't see the issue with him popping out to the gym. Your reaction is very OTT @Tummytroublesagain1

Seems like a huge non issue.

I can’t do diy and neither can my husband - would be hugely hypocritical for me to tear him down when I can’t do it either. Would be like him being embarrassed that I couldn’t cook or sew.

I see no problem with him going to the gym whilst your dad puts up the curtain pole. Sounds like your dad lives reasonably close by if he can pop round to do some quick diy in which case it doesn’t need the whole family to be in to entertain him.

Well I am with the OP. Its rude to go out when someone is coming round to do you, as a family, a favour. Its treating him like the hired help without the part where he gets paid!

It would be different if they had an appointment that coincided with the only time he could pop round, they would arrange it like that. But this is just plain rude.

What do you think we do? Hump the adductor machine?

Our twins are 6 - is that sufficient for everyone

They can entertain themselves while you help your Dad OP. They are 6! I thought you were talking about babies, who would have been fine for a while too tbf.
Honestly, unless this is the straw that broke the camels back then it's fine for him to go to the gym. My Dad helps us out all the time, keeps him busy and out of my Mums hair, and we both nip in and out. He might go for a run, I might go to the gym or we might all take the dog out, it's not a problem and my Dad doesn't think twice.

I am always wary of married people going to gyms. Especially gym bros. Sorry. What is wrong with the great outdoors for keeping fit? So many options! Walking, cycling, running, horse-riding, etc.?

I get it op. It’s just rude of DH. It would be polite to hand around for a bit, chat, make a cup of tea for your dad and thank him. It’s not a gender issue. Just a manners one.

It's almost as mortifying as when a woman is unable to put up a curtain pole herself and expects men to do it for her.

Why should your husband be responsible for putting up the pole, can't you do it? I can't see the problem with him being out when your dad is around.

a lot of irrelevant stuff posted, but bottom line your husband doesn't need to be there for this.

if there are bigger issues between husband and your folks, thats a different topic, but on this issue alone you are being completely unreasonable

I don’t think your twins being there has much to do with it as they’re not babies/toddlers, unless there are particular complexities which mean that two adults are needed to look after them. Do you need to help your dad by holding up the curtain pole, and the twins can’t be left for a few minutes for whatever reason, like particular needs? (Not an expert in putting up curtain poles!)

I don’t personally think it’s necessary otherwise for your husband to be there just out of ‘politeness’ as that could become very restrictive over time. It’s not a social visit specifically and I’m sure your dad wouldn’t mind your husband being out unless he’s quite unreasonable. It would be different if it was a pattern and your husband always chose to go out when his in laws came over.

Edited because I saw the age of twins but you are still unreasonable the way you are reacting to posters here.

Jesus this is why we will always live in a patriarchy, because women just love to tear each other down

The opposite. You are a woman. You can help putting up a curtain pole.

But at 7 I was helping dad change gearboxes on cars, wallpapering etc

I could also entertain myself...

What's the deal for the gym?

You get the kids and the pole, he gets the gym, and then he's minding the kids, cooking dinner and cleaning the house while you go for a quiet run afterwards?

This!

I just don't think this a big deal. Nothing with bringing women down, I'd say the same if it was a man complaining in the exact same situation

It depends on where it is. There's one in my house that I wouldn't be able to manage at all.

Jesus this is why we will always live in a patriarchy, because women just love to tear each other down

Oh please. If we had that much power we'd be able to put up curtain rods.