AIBU to expect my husband to complain about hair in food?

A hair in food wouldn’t bother me at all, my husband wouldn’t be able to eat it. If he found one he’d speak to staff, if I found one he wouldn’t dream of telling me I needed to have a problem with it.

Why turn this into a big drama by interfering? Your husband wasn’t bothered so why should you be bothered on his behalf?

Are you normally this controlling? I’m trying to imagine the replies when a man throws a wobbly and causes a big scene because his wife refuses to complain about a strand of hair in her food and just wants to eat it, then storming off because she didn’t do what he told her to do.

I am my kid's carer so of course I'd say something if it was their food.

I am NOT my husband's carer and he said he was fine with it.

He's a grown man who makes his own decisions.

If he had complained about the hair to you after the meal, then I would have told him he should have done something about it at the time. But, otherwise it is his choice to complain or not. You are being very condescending.

Really? I mean that genuinely. It really wouldn't bother you to find a random person's hair in a meal cooked in a professional kitchen?

For me, hair-free food is the most basic of standards I expect when I eat at a restaurant.

£50 tip! How much was the bill? That's a huge tip for two meals.

I agree with PPs that it wasn't really your complaint to make.

But I disagree that it wasn't your business - you were eating in the same restaurant, eating food prepared in the same sub-standard kitchen. Even if it was someone at another table that'd pulled a hair from their food, it'd be your business. Absolutely revolting.

But I agree with you - your DH sounds like a right limp lettuce. That'd absolutely do my head in, can't stand people like that.

You can comment on something without it being your business. Saying oh why don’t you complain, is fine, doing what OP did and making it her business is the issue

Really? None of her business to say anything at all? I think most women would make some kind of comment if their husband pulled a hair out of a meal in a restaurant. I can't imagine many people just totally ignoring it. If you personally never comment on such things with your DH, or kids or whatever then fair and each to their own. But I believe that would be quite unusual.

You sound quite controlling - if DH wasn't bothered by a hair then I don't see why you took it upon yourself to call the waiter over and complain on his behalf. He made it clear he didn't want to, and you embarrassed him, what a lot of unnecessary fuss!

He did stand up for himself, against you.

Pretty sure he feels like you treated him like a child, overrode his wishes and opinions and embarrassed him in public.

Further punishing him and embarrassing him by marching out to the car.

He’s an adult, it was his choice to complain or not.

You sound really difficult, OP. It’s his food, his feelings and his choice whether he wants to complain or not. Nothing to do with you. Not sharing your feelings doesn’t mean he’s a weakling. I’d have been really irritated if my husband tried to do this to me during a meal out.

Of course it's none of her business.

It was his food and he was fine with it.

Whether the OP likes it or not, it was actually none of her business.

A hair in my food wouldn’t bother me either, anyone expecting the entire meal to be be replaced is insane.

I wouldn't say this was none of your business. Nobody wants their husband to be served a sub-par meal particularly if it's expensive and a rare treat. So yes, I would've certainly suggested he complained but if he really didn't want to, I wouldn't push it that far. But he wouldn't be calling me a bitch again in a hurry and I'd be pretty stunned at the £50 tip. In my experience men rarely like complaining about such things. They don't like to lose face in front of other people (especially other men and especially in social settings).

He's a grown adult. If he didn't want to complain that up won him. Stop dictating how you believe he should act.

The hair didn’t spoil his meal OP, YOU did. And he complained at you for spoiling his meal so he’s done exactly what you wanted him to.

Entirely up to him. I’d have been annoyed with you too.

It was really none of your business

I just want him to stand up for himself a bit more and he just won’t.
The only person he need to stand up to is you. What in the world makes you think you get to dictate to him about HIS meal? He was happy to continue eating it, he was happy to pag for it, so let him. It didn't affect you at all.

I’ve brought it up a few times and he mentions he’s the one who paid and it was his food like that is in any way relevant.
Pretty much that's all that's relevant... it had absolutely nothing to do with you?

Then he tries to make me out as the baddie. AIBU?
You tried to dictate to him about his meal, you tried to do something he wasn't comfortable with at the restaurant by complaining, you walked out, and when he (unfortunately) apologised (he shouldn't have, he was correct) you didn't speak to him. Of course you are the baddie... you treated him like absolute dirt.

I think you were being domineering and you undermined him. If the hair didn’t bother him, that’s his call.

You ruined the evening out in an expensive restaurant that he was paying for and embarrassed him by making a fuss about something that only affected him and that he was not bothered about. I'm with him you were being a pain.

I would find that gross and I would have suggested he complain, but I wouldn't have done it for him, it was his meal and his call. Yabu

People always lose me at pushover-it’s always the complainers that keep arguments going, push everyone around, make everything uncomfortable. It was his food not yours. If he had complained yes they needed to hear it, he didn’t and rightly he shouldn’t have called you a bitch, but you acting like he’s a wuss/ weak is the exact same.