AIBU to expect my husband to complain about hair in food?

I'm not saying that she was right, she was 100% wrong for not respecting his wishes

But once youre in front of others, you have eachothers back imo - she didnt initially embarras him in front of the waiter

and she was embarrassing him by calling the waiter over.

he shouldn't have called her a bitch.

but why does he have to stand by his woman (🙄) when she did something expressly against his wishes about something that didn't affect her.

you make it sound like he's ignoring some great moral issues. it didn't bother him, it wasn't intentional, so he doesn't feel the need to have his meal taken away / someone be berated for their service. how does that make him a pathetic wimp?

I think he does tbh, theres a bloody hair in your food, eww

And the point of being a partnership is to have eachothers back. The op was wrong but you dont embarrass your wife fgs

There'll be more to this anyway

He doesn’t seem “wet” (seeing as that’s code for not being manly enough) and it’s not his responsibility to stand by you.

Here we go

a man choosing not to complain is now a pathetic wimp! You’re right he should have been a “real man” and told that waiter what for. Maybe insulted him too. How manly

I think once youve called the waiter over, it was his responsibility as your man to stand by you, not send the waiter away and tip £50

He shouldn't have called you a bitch

The fact that you walked out for a bit and then came back makes me think you two gave the waiters a bit of a scene, and that your marriage isnt a happy one.

But you were in the wrong for forcing him to say something, even if he seems wet.

I think you should leave. It sounds like you dont like eachother anymore. X

Doesn't offend me at all. Obviously.

I just physically can't understand that anyone would be OK with eating food prepared by a professional kitchen that had a hair in it.

Your life, your standards of course. For me, not having hair in food that's been prepared by professionals and that I'm paying for is an absolute minimum expectation.

I can’t understand why you made this into such a big deal! If he’s not bothered why should you be? You belittled him by speaking for him to the waiter (like he was a child) and he likely reacted out of embarrassment. If my DP did what you did I’d be furious.

Really. I don’t think my standards are low, in fact I read many things on here that I wouldn’t put up with. However, a hair in food is not something that would bother me. If that concerns or offends you then so be it, I can’t care about it just because you think I should.

From what youve said, it’s very clear that you ARE the baddie and you ruined the evening out by interfering and walking out twice. Im not sure I would bother to call a waiter over if I found a single hair in my food, and I certainly wouldn’t want my meal to be replaced. If I had decided that I didn’t want to complain about MY food, I would be livid if someone else then decided to complain on my behalf. As your husband has said, he paid for his food and it’s not your business to complain on his behalf. No wonder he’s pissed off with you!

It wasn’t her meal. She did comment on it to him which most of us would do but it wasn’t her business to be calling the waiter over when her husband said it was ok.
I can only imagine how stupid OP looked up and down sulking

It being none of her business is in relation to the choice of sending it back or not.

Course she could say “yuck, don’t you want to send it back”

Then he says no and that’s that. None of her business whether he eats it or not

Sounds like he needs to stand up to you?!

His plate, his food, his choice. You were being so unreasonable calling the waiter on his behalf 😅

Ugh, YANBU.

I couldn’t be with a pathetic wimp of a man who’s too scared of authority to stand up for what’s right.

The fact he called you a bitch for trying to take a stand says a lot about him and it’s all negative!

Sounds like you ruined the meal OP, not the hair. Way to make a nice occasion tense and difficult. Your poor DH. I hope when he does choose to stand up for himself it is to stop you being critical and controlling.

Maybe your DH is like me?

If I am dealing with something how I, as an adult see fit, and another adult tries to dictate my reaction - I’ll deliberately be more exaggerated in my attitude of it being fine to prove a point.

Eg I can make my own decisions and speak for myself!

I would have mentioned the hair myself when I felt appropriate but would have responded how your DH didn’t another adult called a waiter over and decided to speak on my behalf. It’s belittling.

Yes. You calling the waiter over would have pissed me off so much. Mind your own (food).

He stood up for himself. Just not to the person and in the way you would have liked.

Is that actually true?

That finding a hair in your food at a restaurant wouldn't bother you at all?

Honestly?

I can't imagine having such low standards in life.

Exactly this. I couldn't spend my life with a man like this <boak>

Sounds like Raj's girlfriend in Big Bang! He says she needs to complain about her "funky" food, she says leave it, he complains, and she says he needs to mind his own and stop bullying her. Then leaves.
Think it's unreasonable you think food hygiene matters more in fancy restaurants than Maccys.

How much was the meal if it was a £50 tip, were there a few of you or just you and him ? I'm a northener so imagining about 15 😅

A 'fuss'? You don't think maybe an expensive restaurant (or any restaurant, for that matter) shouldn't serve food with hair in it??

The deeper issue sems to be that he is a bit of a drip. Who tips £50 for an inadequate or faulty experience? That's nuts! I agree you should not have taken over, but have sympathy for you OP in your frustration on this occasion.