AIBU to expect my husband to complain about hair in food?

A single rogue hair in my food wouldn't bother me. It's not the dream but it wouldn't cross my mind to complain about it or demand a new meal. I don't consider myself a pushover - I'd have no issue complaining about, for example, undercooked meat - something I consider actually matters to my enjoyment of the meal.

Complaining about a hair, and demanding then waiting for a replacement plate, would affect my enjoyment of the meal far more than just pulling it out and moving on.

OP behaved abominably at every turn. Calling the waiter over despite her husband already saying he didn't want to complain, proceeding to complain despite him saying it was OK and then the dramatic sulking/storming out/silent treatment rigmarole. She obviously has contempt for what she perceives to be "pushover" behaviour by her husband but he was able to stand up to her in the face of all that, so he can't be too much of a pushover.

Tipping the waiter makes total sense. The quality of the waiter's service had nothing to do with the hair in the food - that's not the waiter's job. The husband probably tipped extra because the waiter had to deal with the unwanted complaint.

There's also a principle involved here. I imagine most decent corner cafes wouldn't consider it OK to send out food with a hair in it, never mind a high-end restaurant.

So in that case the OP shouldn't have tried to publicly embarass her husband...

but presumably you also don't treat your DH like a child, deciding whether his meal is ok or not and complaining when he doesn't want to. if you both respect each other, then your theory holds. op doesn't respect her husband's autonomy, that's the problem

Very unreasonable of you to complain on his behalf - he is not a child. He probably tipped them 50 quid to piss you off. I assume this isn't the first time you have behaved like this?

ETA - he absolutely shouldn't have called you a bitch. That's awful.

Him calling you a bitch is the problem here, I wouldn't stand for that from DH for any reason.

But yes I'd be annoyed if I was fine with the hair in my food and someone was trying to speak for me.

My wife called a waiter over once as my food was a tad cold. It annoyed me she did that as it wasn't the end of the world, only an observation.

Don't annoy people for no reason, they're childish enough to tip just to piss off their wife like I did

He calls you a bitch yet tips the waiter £50 after finding a hair in his meal? Weird.

Okay well thats what i think - theres more to this situation, but in a happy relationship, one wouldn't publically embarrass the other

so she can undercut him in private, but once it's public he must toe the party line?

so if you and your DP disagree on something, all he has to do to force your compliance is voice his opinion loudly cos once he's told other people, you have to agree.

interesting dynamics

well you're the one making up a scenario. we have no idea whether he's generally unwilling to challenge anytime or just doesn't care and is hungry.

people have different standards. there's a huge difference between "oh gosh, I could never tell the waiter, I don't even deserve a decent meal" and "meh, the heat would have got rid of the germs, gosh this meal is tasty!"

see I agree re the sentiment of the hair being there, but are you genuinely happy to just keep eating it or would it stop you from finishing your meal so you'd pay full price and go home hungry? if the former, like the DH, then it's reasonable to say nothing. if it means you don't finish your meal then you can speak to the waiter and have the meal replaced in a way that doesn't cause a scene doesn't blame and shame etc.

I don't know, there's plenty of women calling her DH pathetic, a wimp, wet. enough of axpile on to make her feel better about herself I'm sure

I wonder if this is yet another thread where the op doesn't come back because it didn't go the way she wanted.

I'm not squeamish about many things but a hair in my food makes me gag!

I wouldn't be able to finish the dinner, probably wouldn't be able to finish whatever replacement they brought out either!

It would have really put me off my meal s

Stop micro managing his feelings about it. He's a grown up and chose not to make a fuss. Respect that.

I would never complain about a single hair in food. It’s an unwelcome addition but no one did it deliberately, it won’t harm you, it doesn’t mean the restaurant or the chefs at dirty, unclean or unhygienic. All it means is a single rogue hair appeared accidentally where you didn’t expect. I would expect anyone this happened to to behave exactly like your DH. You are being unreasonable and OTT about a very normal situation.

Don't put words in my mouth, please. I think it is overly meek not to point out a hair in one's food, and tbh if he didn't care that he had a hair in his food at an expensive restaurant then he sounds lacking in self-respect as well.

Nothing to do with any of the other word salad you posted. What a strange response.

Some people are not that bothered by it. I had a friend who would pull out the hair and keep eating. She was a really clean and put together person.

If your husband wasn’t bothered by it, you shouldn’t have made a fuss. And he shouldn’t call you a bitch.

Him being personally embarrassed is one thing, but to undercut your partner in front of others is bad form imo

Still the op was wrong initially

where does it say he was meekly eating his food? next you'll have him sat there with tears full to brimming as he choked down mouthful after mouthful, retching with each swallow as his stomach convulses in disgust.

where does it say he was too scared? was he trembling as he lifted the fork to his mouth, pushing in another biteful as he beseeched his wife with pleading eyes to not make his speak to the waiter?

no. he just didn't care and didn't want to have to wait ages for a replacement meal.

but we don't know that he wasn't embarrassed by her calling him over. him sending him away and over tipping would suggest he was. so if we accept he may well have been embarrassed by op, saying he should then comply and do whatever she insists is bullying.

All these people accusing OP of making a 'scene' and a 'fuss' - would you really just meekly go on eating if something was wrong with your meal? More fool you if so. Calmly pointing out a problem with one's meal isn't making a 'scene'. If anything, the husband turned it into more of a scene than it needed to be by dismissing the waiter. If he's normally this much of a wuss I'm not surprised OP sometimes feels like she has to step in.

It's no wonder so many people complain they get walked all over in life if they're too scared to do a simple thing like point out a hair in their food.

100% this.