AIBU to expect my husband to complain about hair in food?

Or just different to yours?

I wouldn’t complain about a hair, but I would (and have) complained about food not being hot enough. I’ve probably complained about other things too, but none spring to mind. A single hair just isn’t in my list of things I’d be bothered about 🤷‍♀️

This thread has shown me that some people's standards and expectations in life are absolutely on the floor.

I also would not necessarily be bothered about a hair in my food - unless it was a pubic hair, of course.

Now you're doing it again. Have you considered a creative writing course, because there seems to be a frustrated novelist in you battling to get out... 🤔

If this was reversed he would be called controlling it works the same way for woman no matter how people justify it

Well its up to him isn't it? He wasn't bothered so why are you so annoyed. If he had expected you to complain for him: U. If he expected you not to complain if it was in your food: U. But in this case I think YABU. He shouldn't have a called you a bitch but I would have been a bit pissed off with you too.

My DH once found a hair in his meal. He made a comment to me about the hair, moved a section of his meal to the side and continued eating. Upon inspection I let him know that it was in fact.... his own beard hair 😂

he's a very lovely classy guy, but you need to chill OP

You sound controlling and stroppy. Live and let live. What if the boot was on the other food and your DH treated you like this?

Oh dont be ridiculous, no kitchen is a completely sterile environment and hair can sometimes by accident get it someones food, it happens, it doesnt mean the kitchen is unhygenic.

It is relevant because the OP's meal was prepared in the same kitchen, by the same improperly trained and unhygienic individual, in the exact same conditions that could have resulted in hair or any other dirty substance in her food

If she didn’t trust the kitchen as a result of him finding a hair, the answer is surely that she shouldn’t eat her meal, rather than that he should complain and get his meal redone (by the same kitchen)? Him complaining isn’t going to fix the potential lack of hygiene in her meal.

no way would my husband ( or I) have calmly accepted that
But not everyone is you or or DH. Personally, I'd complain too, but I know my DH wouldn't. He'd just not eat the but he saw it touching and he'd laugh about. I wouldn't see it as my place to undermine his decision not to let it bother him and complain on his behalf... he's a grown adult. Similarly if I was complaining he wouldn't tell me not to.

Everyone is different and that's pretty evident across this thread. But under no circumstances should someone take away a grown adults autonomy to complain or not and completely undermine them and storm off. It's controlling and pathetic.

It is relevant because the OP's meal was prepared in the same kitchen, by the same improperly trained and unhygienic individual, in the exact same conditions that could have resulted in hair or any other dirty substance in her food.

The husband was in the wrong here. This wasn't just his problem and up to him to let slide. The person who prepared his food wasn't wearing a hair net or had not tied back his or her hair. Goodness knows what other H&S regs were being flouted in that kitchen. Hair back or covered is a basic rule in a kitchen.

The OP deserves an apology and the husband needs to learn to look beyond his own nose. Just because he wasn't bothered for his own sake doesn't mean he shouldn't have been concerned for his wife's, and he should have complained, or let her complain for him.

She was not being a bitch. People who are paying for their meals deserve the assurance that the food is being prepared in a kitchen where the regs are followed to the letter every single day.

He couldn’t stand up enjoy for himself though- no way would my husband ( or I) have calmly accepted that, and no way would he have given a tip!

well no eatery would, I have no doubt they'd have apolgised, replaced the meal and possibly comped (sic) them to avoid a negative review.
but if doesn't care and he's HAPPY to eat it, as opposed to cowering in fear of authority and per some posts on here, forcing it down cos he's too much of a wimp / not manly enough / soooo pathetic etc. then it's frankly his problem.

I'd complain, i'dwant a new meal. I don't consider being different to me as a moral failing.

Yeah but you aren't the OPs husband

He's standing up to you isnt he?

And you dont like it

None of your business if he wants or doesnt want to send his meal back.

I’m not that offended by a hair in food. It’s not the ideal but I don’t think hair would make me ill. A fingernail or undercooked food a bit different! I think when you’ve worked in hospitality or retail you choose complaints carefully too.

See, if I was enjoying the food, I’d pull out the hair and carry on enjoying my meal - and would prefer my companion to do the same rather than ruining the evening by making a big drama. I’m much more concerned about the taste of the food, the service and the ambience than a hair. Obviously prefer not to have the hair but it’s not the end of the world.

I’d leave a poor review if the food was bad or if the service was really bad, or if I got sick from the food.

If I found a hair in my food, I would not continue the meal ,and I certainly would not be leaving a ridiculously huge tip! I would be leaving a poor review though!

Agree £50 is OTT. I’m guessing he was trying to compensate for OP’s behaviour.

It's his food and he's not bothered, so you don't get to decide how he reacts. Not wanting to complain doesn't make him a "pushover", it just means his priorities and triggers are different from yours.

FWIW I probably wouldn't have complained. A hair in food isn't ideal but it's not an automatic food hazard.

Him calling you a bitch was out of order but you were being controlling and melodramatic. I don't think you would have been wrong to complain if it were your food, but you seem to have difficulty understanding that you and he are different people and I think you need to work on that.

£50? Well OTT!

It's up to him to decide what he's willing to tolerate. I wouldn't personally send a plate back for finding a hair, and I would be more than annoyed if someone tried to force me to complain.

He should not have called you a bitch, though maybe he was fed up with a recurring pattern of behaviour. Are you generally a positive person?

No one is saying it's OK. If I found a hair in my food at a restaurant I probably wouldn't go back in a hurry. But this is not an important enough "principle" to complain and disrupt my own meal for.