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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to work from home because of a cold sore?

133 replies

PoolDepth · Yesterday 11:56

Friday afternoon I started feeling a tingle on my lips and by Saturday morning had 3 small blisters in the corner of my mouth. I immediately applied a Compeed cold sore patch and booked a private GP prescription for Valtrex tablets. Took 2000mg last night, then another 2000mg this morning. Still using the patch too.

I originally got cold sores from a girl in year 2, so forever ago and haven’t had one for over 10 years.

Anyway, I look awful!! The patches make the blisters look white and puffy. I’m so self conscious about it. I’ve booked another private GP call for tomorrow morning to discuss another prescription. At least the patch helps keep the infection sealed 🙈🤦🏼‍♀️

I just mentioned to DH that I’m not going into the office on Tuesday (perhaps at all next week if it doesn’t improve) and will have to say I’m unwell/injured with something else and work from home (we have to go into the office 3 times a week usually, but I can absolutely do my job from home this week). He says I’m being vain and overreacting.

Thoughts please? I think there’s a massive taboo around herpes!! I’d hate to see a colleague with this being in the office and I’d worry about transmission. I’m constantly washing my hands at the moment.

Surely it’s better to stay away from public places with an active infection. I would be too embarrassed to tell my boss or team the real reason why!!

OP posts:
Original poster
PoolDepth · Yesterday 18:34

Thanks for the dose of reality MN 😂 And also for the empathy from those who do understand the issue. Still not going out in public until it’s less noticeable 😁

Good news is that I’ve had two doses of antivirals (Valtrex) in the past 24 hours and it’s getting smaller!! I’m taking another dose shortly and I think it will be fine for Tuesday 7am when I leave for the office!

I’ve got Lysine coming tomorrow for everyday use and will ask the (not wasting public funds obvs) Private GP for a few emergency doses of Valtrex to keep for any future issues.

A PP asked how much a private GP call costs… if you mean my first prescription, it was just on the Boots website (“online doctor” service) and cost £45 including the medication. My GP call tomorrow is free, as it’s a zoom call with a private GP through work (amazing benefit).

I don’t use our NHS GP usually. I prefer the local private GP surgery that charges £120 for a 30 minute adult appointment (or £80 for a child under 12 appointment), then prescription costs are whatever the pharmacy charges (sometimes cheaper than the fixed NHS prescription charge).

OP posts:
Pinkflamingo10 · Yesterday 18:42

Omg it’s a cold sore, not leprosy !

TY78910 · Yesterday 18:46

I suffer from on and off cold sores that really swell up and make me look fucking dreadful. The thing is the size of my head. I wear a mask 😷. Covid made it more socially acceptable to wear one and most people don’t bat an eye. If they do ask I do say it’s just a cold sore but nobody can see it so it doesn’t make me feel ridiculous.

Brackenandbrave · Yesterday 18:49

Dentist here. What am I reading? What a total overreaction?

as long as you aren’t planning on snogging your work colleagues you will be fine.

also anti virals etc really aren’t that helpful once the cold sore takes hold ( best to use in pro-dromal) the private GP saw you coming.

plus it’s likely some of your colleagues already have the herpes virus in their system.

practice good hygiene and just get on with it

pastadish · Yesterday 18:55

I’ve never had a cold sore and I wouldn’t like to get one If I did get one I’d go to the chemist and get something for it I don’t think it needs a doctor.
I have many friends who have had them over the years and yes I do notice them but I’m careful to not snog them or let them give me oral so you should do the same with your colleagues

Original poster
PoolDepth · Yesterday 19:12

pastadish · Yesterday 18:55

I’ve never had a cold sore and I wouldn’t like to get one If I did get one I’d go to the chemist and get something for it I don’t think it needs a doctor.
I have many friends who have had them over the years and yes I do notice them but I’m careful to not snog them or let them give me oral so you should do the same with your colleagues

Edited

That made me laugh @pastadish. I’ll try my best not to snog any colleagues 😂

OP posts:
Hetko · Yesterday 19:13

The heat method is the only thing that works for cold sores. I used to get them all the time until I heard about this method. Just heat a teaspoon in a cup of boiling water when you feel a coldsore coming and put it on your lip at the hottest you can bear. Dab it a few times. Repeat if necessary but then the Cold sore doesn't ever erupt. If you don't fancy that you can get a heat zapper pen from amazon which does work but I've had both and think the teaspoon actually works better. ( I think because it's probably a bit hotter).

ItsAlwaysTwins · Yesterday 19:15

You’re being utterly ridiculous.

We don’t have prescribed office days, but I do get my team in once a month for a meeting. If one of them said they weren’t attending in person due to a cold sore I’d laugh and assume they were joking.

sweetpickle2 · Yesterday 19:18

Your children may well have the virus, it can lie dormant for years. I caught it off my ex-husband who turns out hadn’t had a cold sore since he was 10 years old, long before I met him, but he never had cold sores as an adult.

Anyway I get feeling a bit self conscious about it and I would WFH if I had the option- but YABU for saying “Is it really acceptable to be in public with a weeping sore that’s contagious? Wouldn’t you be grossed out by it??!”- what are people who can’t WFH meant to do?

Original poster
PoolDepth · Yesterday 19:19

Brackenandbrave · Yesterday 18:49

Dentist here. What am I reading? What a total overreaction?

as long as you aren’t planning on snogging your work colleagues you will be fine.

also anti virals etc really aren’t that helpful once the cold sore takes hold ( best to use in pro-dromal) the private GP saw you coming.

plus it’s likely some of your colleagues already have the herpes virus in their system.

practice good hygiene and just get on with it

@Brackenandbrave The antivirals have definitely worked, as the cold sore is noticeably smaller now than when I woke up this morning! £45 from Boots “online doctor” isn’t a lot to pay, so I don’t think anyone “saw me coming”.

Presumably the medication is like the morning after pill and more effective the sooner you take it 😂 I’ll have my own stash of Valtrex at home for future.

OP posts:
BitterTits · Yesterday 19:22

This is a bit insulting to all those of us who couldn't possibly WFH for the sake of a cold sore! We didn't realise the disgust we cause!

TheRemainsOfTheDayCream · Yesterday 19:25

@howcanihelp2020- I've never heard of that Urgo stuff - thanks for that tip. Good to have another weapon in our armoury against cold sores.

Original poster
PoolDepth · Yesterday 19:26

ItsAlwaysTwins · Yesterday 19:15

You’re being utterly ridiculous.

We don’t have prescribed office days, but I do get my team in once a month for a meeting. If one of them said they weren’t attending in person due to a cold sore I’d laugh and assume they were joking.

Literally why I’d never admit the real reason. I know I’m being ridiculous, but I look grotesque with it and I don’t want anyone to know I have herpes!

If it’s still visible on Tuesday, I’ll say I have nits from my kids as absolutely no one would want that in the office 🐜 🤣

OP posts:
Iwilladmit · Yesterday 19:30

how would you feel if one of your team
lied about something to wfh with bad acne? Or a bad bruise after getting filler?
if you’re fine with that, I’ll feel you’re slightly less unreasonable. Still offensive but at least a better MD.

Original poster
PoolDepth · Yesterday 19:45

Iwilladmit · Yesterday 19:30

how would you feel if one of your team
lied about something to wfh with bad acne? Or a bad bruise after getting filler?
if you’re fine with that, I’ll feel you’re slightly less unreasonable. Still offensive but at least a better MD.

Most people on MN aren’t as vain as me. I don’t care though. I’m particular about how I look, always have been, always will be 😆 I did go into the office with bad Botox bruising once and didn’t care who knew as having poison injected into my face isn’t a secret I keep. I’m open about that.

I have every sympathy for someone with bad acne or bruising. If it affects their comfort coming into the office and impacts how they function, then I’d prefer them to function fully from home instead. There are really only a handful of roles in my company that need to be physically present every day (the reality is that we did 2 years full from home over Covid). The 3 days in the office is a CEO edict, rather than a necessity. He likes being in every day (actually I’d bet his wife likes him being in every day 😂).

I had a team member who had a really bad fall on ice last winter. She looked like she’d been in a crash or a very bad fight. She didn’t mind herself how she looked, but everyone else’s reaction to her and constant questions were so upsetting and traumatising for her that she worked from home for a few weeks.

So sometimes it’s less about how the person themself feels and more about how others react to them! I think that’s my worry deep down. I find cold sores gross, I thought most other people did too 🤷🏼‍♀️

OP posts:
Hankunamatata · Yesterday 19:48

Next time put acicolvir cream x5 a day on as soon as the tingle then your more likely not to get break out and its only £5

Uricon2 · Yesterday 19:49

God help you if you ever have anything properly wrong with you OP.

Kepler22B · Yesterday 19:53

You would rather have people think you have been infected with nits than a virus that 70% of the population have?

Do you really think people have nothing else to think about, so that a small cold sore on the corner of your mouth will interest them at all! You are not the main character in anyone else’s life.

They are self limiting and you don’t get them often so keeping a stock of the medicine (that will go out of date) on the small off chance of getting another (again self limiting) sore is an extreme reaction.

Brackenandbrave · Yesterday 20:06

PoolDepth · Yesterday 19:19

@Brackenandbrave The antivirals have definitely worked, as the cold sore is noticeably smaller now than when I woke up this morning! £45 from Boots “online doctor” isn’t a lot to pay, so I don’t think anyone “saw me coming”.

Presumably the medication is like the morning after pill and more effective the sooner you take it 😂 I’ll have my own stash of Valtrex at home for future.

Show quote history

It’s likely the cold sore would have shrunk regardless. But good for you.
just a real overreaction though. Cold sores are so common. I’d save the anti virals for when you really need it

Coconutter24 · Yesterday 20:25

Surely it’s better to stay away from public places with an active infection.

Do you plan on walking round kissing or making contact with everyone? If that’s a no I’m sure you’ll be fine

pinkfondu · Yesterday 20:50

LilyBunch25 · Yesterday 17:17

Weeping? I thought the patch contained it? I'm really taken aback by the idea of WFH otherwise. I've worked with issues (including severe dental that made me incredibly self conscious but I had to go in) that I would've preferred not to, but...

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It absolutely can weep so much it drips out of the patch

Dave57 · Yesterday 20:55

Coldsores can make you feel really ill and unless you are really ill with them I wouldn’t lie because its sods law you will become seriously ill and then need more time off.
I have had coldsores since a similar age and on a regular basis. This has changed in the last few years as I insisted on being prescribed Alvicor herpes medication, which seems to have curtailed the virus to an extent. I have never judged or avoided anyone I know because of coldsores apart from small children for obvious reasons.

OtterlyAstounding · Yesterday 21:20

Iwilladmit · Yesterday 17:13

My point is that OP doesn’t want to be around anyone with cold sores either. So should those of us that get them be housebound until they heal?

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Oh! Well no, you're right – that's a bit unreasonable! If people are practising good hygiene, then there's nothing wrong with it.

Konstantine8364 · Yesterday 21:31

You are absolutely mental 🤣🤣 I get cold sores fairly regularly, it's definitely my body's way of telling me when I am run down and knackered. I wish I just got a cold like everyone else! I hate them, I feel a bit shit but you just crack on with life. You aren't going to pass them on unless you share towels or snog people!

Tiggermad · Yesterday 21:34

Why not tell the truth then about why you want to wfh ?? Why make an illness up ?
That says it all.
Husband is right.

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