Aibu feeling uneasy about men taking little girls to the toilet in the womens toilet?

She’s exposed to men on her way to the cubicle.

Don’t be ridiculous, abusive for a man to enter unless he is a cleaner?
So a clean toilet for you is important enough for an exception, but the safety, privacy and dignity of a little girl isn’t?

🫠

No it doesn't.

Parents can't just go and steal the safest car seat, drop their child at (what they percieve as) the safest school or single-handedly resolve unsafe parking around schools by pummeling the offenders.

And all those things are more impactful from safety point of view, than a child of either sex going around urinals with their farther to use a toilet cubicle.

Noone yet explained, what is specific risk for a small girl compared to a small boy.

Personally I think it's a non issue. Women's toilets have some privacy with individual cubicles whereas there are urinals in the men's. Men's toilets also are in most cases stinking and you would not want to pee sitting down (I used to have to clean toilets when I worked in a bar - men aren't the best at aim). I really wouldn't care about a dad bringing his young daughter into the bathroom so she can pee. Maybe someone was in the disabled toilet changing their baby and the daughter had to go quickly or she finds the taller toilet in the disabled toilet too tricky. Could be various reasons.

I have a son, and when he was little, I used to take him into the ladies toilets. At no point did I take him into the men's, it wouldn't have been appropriate for me to be going in the men's toilets.

In this situation, I'd be taking my daughter into the disabled toilets. However, taking a girl into the men's, when other men could be stood at the urinals, is that appropriate for the child?? These men are strangers, stood at a urinal, holding their 'bits', having a wee!

I can understand why this particular man decided it was more appropriate for him to take his daughter into the ladies toilets. Any women using the toilets, would be in a cubical. However, if he had decided to take his daughter into the men's, he would have been with her, and she'd have been equally safe.

The answer is to have mens, womens and unisex. And in the event that’s not possible just make all the toilets unisex and people will have to get on with it or go elsewhere.

I am just asking you for some consistency, and to consider implications.

So, if the girl has rights, the boy has as well. What are those rights about? Should boys exercise their rights to being taken to men's by their mums (sex of the user)? Or, if the gents are inherrently unsafe for a small children with their father, wouldn't a boy child with father be safer (whatever you mean by that) in the laides as well?

To your question:
She has her male father with her at the gents for her comfort and safety. Her father isn't allowed in the ladies, so if she isn't ready to go into the women's on her own, it is obviously safer for her to go with her dad at gents.

Allowing fathers in ladies would just move the issue up - how old the girls would have to be able to use ladies on their own if men went routinely in, accompanying a girl or not?

Because parents safeguarding their children trumps everything. No parent should ever put the safety of their second to what random posters on MN think.

For fathers out with young daughters, if the girls are too young to go in the ladies on their own then their dad should take them in the men’s.
However, I do understand that many of us are concerned that men’s toilets are not a nice place for little girls. & they are probably not a very nice place for little boys either. Why is this? I suppose A) because men’s loos can be very dirty, and B) some men are creeps. Both of those things are issues caused by men, and need to be solved somehow (not by woman being made to uncomfortable because of men coming in our space).
I don’t know the solution, but just wanted to rant I suppose because I’m feeling fed up about how women are impacted by the issues of men.

Obviously he takes her to a cubicle in the gents, covering her eyes with his hand, or carrying with her head into his body as a very sensible poster mentioned above, if he is worried about what she might see.

I can assure you that men's penises are not 'on show' in the gents. Men discretely poke it out of the zip/button opening, do what (we) need to, shake the drops off (if you're not a total skank) then put it away.
We do not run round the gents waggling our equipment about. Most are entirely discreet, many are painfully bashful and would not want anyone to see their penis.

'There are urinals in mens toilets and potentially male genitals at the height of the little girl'

She wouldn't use a urinal. Obviously.

Men should not go in ladies toilets. Why do we need have to keep saying this very basic fact??

There are urinals in mens toilets and potentially male genitals at the height of the little girl.
Almost never are female genitals on show in the womans toilet - very very very rarely will a wee girl come out with undergarments twisted inside tights for example. Ive seen this once.

I think male toilets are more of a risk to wee girls and thus have no issue with a male taking a wee girl in.
Disabled toilets are probably the best option all round.

She wouldn't be 'exposed' she'd use a cubicle?

Men should not go in the ladies! My dh managed fine when our dc were little.

So, where does the girl go to the loo?

I have sons but if I had daughters I would rather my husband take them outside to pee than a men’s toilet !!

Men’s toilets are also often stinking of pee and urinals mean that there are men’s penis’s on show. Little girls should never go into a men’s toilets. On balance a women’s toilets only will have closed cubicals. Unless you are peeking in the sink then there should really be no issue with seeing a man in the sink area of a women’s toilets with his daughter.

No thankyou, others can do that and I suspect it’s impossible to eradicate antway.Us parents will safeguard as we see fit.

Plenty of tired old tropes here, equating homosexuality and paedophilia ..

By that token 90 percent of the parents bringing their child to swimming lessons are abusive . Forcing their little ds to the women’s changing rooms to get changed . Heaven forbid ! I wonder what the future will be like with all this debauchery going on in the world

I only read page 1 and the amount of hand wringing is weird. What do you think the dad is going to do while accompanying a young child? By the time you exit your private cubicle you should be finished and dressed, so nothing for him to see. I wouldn't have wanted my young DDs being taken into the men's loos - they have fewer cubicles, men may be at the urinals, and it's not uncommon for the toilets to be filthy due to men's poor aim. In the first instance they should look for a family room or use the disabled toilet if it's free, but I have no issue with a man showing his young daughter how to use the women's facilities.

Then this is a men issue. It needs resolving by dealing with the men. Not by saying women have to let these men into their spaces. How do we know he isn't one of those men? We can't know he is safe. Statistically, he isn't safe.

If men's toilets are a problem because of men's behaviour then deal with the men's behaviour.

What is this American issue you are talking about? I am American and took my son in the woman’s room with no problem when he was young.

You’re describing healthy men who aren’t abusers. Abusers don’t print it onto their foreheads.

Yeah I think some women have no idea what a line of men peeing actually looks like. They probably imagine them waving their cocks about!