Aibu feeling uneasy about men taking little girls to the toilet in the womens toilet?

And it's less thinking a child is a sexual deviant and more the worry that one might get an adverse reaction from the parents to whipping off a swimming costume at the wrong moment or happening to look in the wrong direction when a kid is changing, given how nervous people are about potential pervs in changing rooms and toilets these days (as this thread has made clear, though I guess as a woman it's less likely to happen). And I imagine men having a pee when a little girl is walked in might be equally uncomfortable.

We are talking about a child going into the toilet WITH a parent here . Not alone .

They really aren’t honestly . My ds does not stare at women and if he did I woudnt be long telling him not to. Also , little girls are just as inclined to look at women changing as little boys . For the same reasons .

The problem with ‘gender neutral’ designs is they are less safe and less healthy. They are not even a named regulated design under building control and regulations. A universal design (unisex) toilet is the regulated design. As with the accessible (disabled) design in non domestic toilets, it is private.

Why are single sex toilets in a single sex washroom safer and healthier? There’s so many reasons that have been scientifically proven.

Only single sex toilet cubicles in a single sex environment can have door gaps. The single design provides ventilation, enables better cleaning, provides supervision in an emergency and prevents misuse such as assaults. The handbasins are in an area not doused by the flush plume.

Single sex designs can and do save people’s lives every year. I know because I saved one and have been researching and collating data on non domestic toilet incidents for several years now.

You have not been to every toilet, assessed each one, who is in it, behaviours of adults in there,the children involved, you don’t know the history of adults in there and you can not say a boy going into the men’s alone will be safe or a small girl going into the women’s alone will be safe.

As such parents will safeguard guard as they think appropriate the same as anybody in charge of children.

No there is Zero need when a dad is right there beside them watching them vigilantly . Absolutely zero need.

Hilarious that I’m the extreme one when all these adult women are terrified of a lone dad in the women’s toilets with his daughter but think there is nothing for a little girl to be terrified of in the men’s toilets with half a dozen strange men.

There is every reason and very good need.

Fair point, given I don't want to be getting my snatch out in front of other people generally, but kids who don't have the same equipment are much more curious.

Right well then you need therapy if you think a 4 year old is some sort of threat or sexual deviant . I’ve never heard anything so ridiculous

Nope I don’t want to be treated as precious I just don’t agree with the principle of a grown man going to the women’s when there is no need . It woudnt bother me personally but it would bother women of certain religions or who have experienced trauma . And there is no good reason for it . Therefore I do not agree with it. If you don’t care about random opinions on mumsnet why bother engaging with mumsnet at all btw

Yet you want to be treated like you’re precious and be wrapped in cotton wool as an adult. Perhaps a psychologist would call that the need of your inner child expressing itself as an adult.

I have a son, and when he was little, I used to take him into the ladies toilets. At no point did I take him into the men's, it wouldn't have been appropriate for me to be going in the men's toilets.

In this situation, I'd be taking my daughter into the disabled toilets. However, taking a girl into the men's, when other men could be stood at the urinals, is that appropriate for the child?? These men are strangers, stood at a urinal, holding their 'bits', having a wee!

I can understand why this particular man decided it was more appropriate for him to take his daughter into the ladies toilets. Any women using the toilets, would be in a cubical. However, if he had decided to take his daughter into the men's, he would have been with her, and she'd have been equally safe.

No it doesn't.

Parents can't just go and steal the safest car seat, drop their child at (what they percieve as) the safest school or single-handedly resolve unsafe parking around schools by pummeling the offenders.

And all those things are more impactful from safety point of view, than a child of either sex going around urinals with their farther to use a toilet cubicle.

Noone yet explained, what is specific risk for a small girl compared to a small boy.

this is why all toilets should be unisex with enclosed cubicles, so much easier for everyone.

You are being extreme and your "argument" is nonsensical.

The small girl will be led to the cubicle by her dad, then to wash hands. She is not "exposed" to "several strange men". She will see their backs only as they pee.

Most adult women want privacy in their toilets.

Is it cruel to young boys to be taken to the ladies toilet and feel like they are not really boys?

Don’t think using the disabled toilet is in any way ‘morally wrong’ in these circumstances…. In fact seems the perfect option.

I was not abused in any way . I was raised by a sensible parent in the real world and not wrapped in cotton wool or treated like I was precious . And no I’ve never been spanked . It’s not abuse. If you think that is abuse you must be living in a dream world.

Because you’d be deliberately exposing a small girl to several strange men while using the toilet just so that an adult woman doesn’t have to see one dad helping the same girl.

This is unbelievably cruel to the girl and makes her feel like she isn’t really female.

No it doesn't.

Parents can't just go and steal the safest car seat, drop their child at (what they percieve as) the safest school or single-handedly resolve unsafe parking around schools by pummeling the offenders.

And all those things are more impactful from safety point of view, than a child of either sex going around urinals with their farther to use a toilet cubicle.

Noone yet explained, what is specific risk for a small girl compared to a small boy.