Aibu feeling uneasy about men taking little girls to the toilet in the womens toilet?

Yup wouldn’t have a problem with a man in with a young daughter in the women’s. Never seen anyone in real life do anything other than smile at the child tbh!!

So you're cool with your little girl going into the ladies or leaving her cubical and encountering a strange man?

Considering that most children don't lock the doors in case they can't get out, I would not be happy with this at all.

I used male changing rooms constantly as a child having a mother who cannot swim so my dad had to bring us . I didn’t give a shit at that age . Most kids don’t . Look up child development. A teenage girl is far more likely to be uncomfortable than a small child

I very much believe I would.

Her daughter was never taken to the women's toilets by a man. She's already said that.

I found out my husband was taking our daughter in the men’s toilets and was horrified. They are so dirty and not a place for a little girl. The dad might have thought ‘I don’t want her standing in wee in the men’s, we’re not disabled, I’m just going to run into the women’s with her’ to be honest I might be startled but I’d understand. When I was a child, I went into the women’s on my own and my dad took my brother into the men’s. I was happy doing that but I wouldn’t want my child going anywhere unsupervised now.

Sorry I don’t understand. Can you explain

I very much doubt you would have changed their minds.

Why are men’s toilets deemed disgusting but unisex loos are somehow not? I assume you would be happy with your husband taking your child into a unisex loo?

also editing to add- how do you know men’s loos are disgusting? I’ve never been in one to know.

actually everyone who came in just wanted to help. I had one person offer me a spare t-shirt she had. Women don’t, in general, get uncomfortable around other women. I was in no worse state of undress than a changing room.

but that aside, the point is, toilets are private spaces. Just as men’s toilets are. If a women walked into a men’s toilet with their son I would expect the men to feel just as uncomfortable.

the dad would have been absolutely fine taking his daughter into the men’s just as my dad did with me. Zero trauma experienced. Even if a man had even opened the door and caught a glimpse of me in any of those scenarios I would have been mortified.

She never did. As I said clearly.

Yes in reduces the ability to hear and see someone. The maximum floor to door gap can be 15cm. This was indeed enough to see a young woman’s blue hand on the floor on her cubicle. It can also help seeing if someone else is in the toilet-washroom and how many people are in the cubicle. It can help to hear someone’s cries for help if they are trapped, as can space above a door and partitions to help get someone out. Another good feature for safety is to have the toilet door rest in the open position.

When I talked about the affect on changing designs on women, I wasn’t talking about their opinion but the outcomes of what happened to them as occupants. That is what I have evidence for in my research over the last few years.

Women are scientifically shown to be more aware of their surroundings than men. I think women seem more likely to understand the safeguarding concerns when they are pointed out. Despite what you say, if I’d shown my real life research to the women on level 5 of your old office block, I would bet I would have 100% approval for keeping doors with gaps.

Why are men’s toilets deemed disgusting but unisex loos are somehow not? I assume you would be happy with your husband taking your child into a unisex loo?

also editing to add- how do you know men’s loos are disgusting? I’ve never been in one to know.

I found out my husband was taking our daughter in the men’s toilets and was horrified. They are so dirty and not a place for a little girl. The dad might have thought ‘I don’t want her standing in wee in the men’s, we’re not disabled, I’m just going to run into the women’s with her’ to be honest I might be startled but I’d understand. When I was a child, I went into the women’s on my own and my dad took my brother into the men’s. I was happy doing that but I wouldn’t want my child going anywhere unsupervised now.

My completely unscientific observation is that women really dislike the set up with gaps. I know in my previous office, which had the gap formation, the toilets got lots of complaints about the the lack of privacy. They were awful.

As far as I am aware, no one looked at the affect of enclosing toilet design on women either. I can find no evidence of this happening.

If you'd asked the women on level 5 of my old office block you'd have got 100% approval for getting rid of doors with gaps.

Yes I agree!! You will find many new places are like this. The gaps are disappearing in toilet design which is what my campaign is about! It’s why I keep going on about toilets! I really wish I didn’t have to.

When it’s been ambiguous who is allowed in the washroom, the first thing that happens design-wise is that the doors and partitions become floor to ceiling in privacy.

Brace yourself for full on toilet safety nerdiness:

The Building Safety Regulator which were part of the Health and Safety Executive have written to me and said that the only designs that are allowed to have door gaps are single sex designs in a single sex environment.

In Approved Document T (2024) is doesn’t show them on the cross sectional diagrams for types C and D as they said they wanted the document to be as succinct as possible. However I have analysed the consultation and responses leading up to ADT, and there was no mention of why door gaps were advantageous (despite the health and safety advantages being listed in BS6465). In particular for the millions of people with heart conditions, risk of stroke, endometriosis, neurological conditions such as epilepsy, and diabetes….
The government did commission a private company to look at designs for people with long term health conditions. This commission didn’t look at any of the conditions I listed above either, except stroke in terms of a handrail. Instead they recommended enclosing certain designs for people with long term health conditions. I investigated the evidence they had for this. The literature source was wrong on multiple levels - it was an opinion article by two Americans (this is relevant as their designs are different to British designs) who weren’t looking at long term health conditions. The relevant sentence was: ‘A better solution, supported by many transactivists, and increasingly found in trendy nightclubs and
restaurants, is to eliminate gender-segregated facilities entirely and treat the public restroom as one single open space with fully enclosed stalls’.
This is the typical design known as ‘inclusive’ toilet design. It’s unregulated, and least bad for healthy men.

As far as I am aware, no one looked at the affect of enclosing toilet design on women either. I can find no evidence of this happening.

Again, I can give you links to the above evidence if you really wanted. I am aware this is very niche, but by focusing on the vital importance of door gaps and investigating why the designs have changed, it has unearthed a lot of other stuff too!

What I am campaigning for is for the advantages of door gaps to be listed in ADT, ADM (in the section about separate sex toilet-washrooms for disabilities and conditions such as epilepsy and diabetes).

You literally just said it was nothing to do with Sen . Regardless of any Sen an adult man should not be in the female toilets and it’s up for you to sort that out yourself . It’s not an excuse . Sorry but it’s not.

I can understand that for both of those instances, and I think most men would be equally uncomfortable to walk in on you in those circumstances. I don't think men taking their daughters to the toilet are striving to be noble. They just want their kid to get to a toilet that they're comfortable with before they piss themselves. But with regards to you standing for the best part undressed drying your clothes , that isn't the primary purpose of a public toilet and possibly you made other women using the toilets uncomfortable.