DD9 doesn’t like any physical activity

She needs to keep up the swimming. It’s fantastic exercise and I would also insist she learns to ride a bike. The others I would just drop.

She doesn’t need to like sport. She should be active and walking places and running around the park with her friends though. It doesn’t sound like you’re too badly there. However, puppy fat is a bit of a myth, height can be misleading because overweight children grow taller faster so if she’s overweight it’ll likely be because of what she’s eating (particularly portion size if you don’t have junk in the house) more than it is her activity level.

I wouldn’t force her into team sport if she hates it. I was a very non sporty child too but I enjoy things like dance/aerobics, Pilates, going for a walk.
Physical activity is important so I’d find something she does enjoy- dance, climbing, martial arts, horse riding? Even just going for a walk together regularly. Also keep up with the swimming.

Ha ha ha! My dad is one of 6, they all grew up in the 50s and 60s. I can assure you fat kids existed then - we have family photo albums to prove it!

I have hated sport my entire life. I can’t stand anything about it! Competitive team sports are the worst, and as for forced sports day at school - absolutely horrific. As an adult I have discovered the joy of walking and hiking.

As others have said, stop trying to make her do sport. Other hobbies and activities exist!

What about active play? Park, soft play, rock climbing etc? Geocaching?

swimming is great exercise if she likes that you could go second session. Or would she work out in the garage with you?

Does she walk to school?

You do understand the 50s was over 70 years ago, and indeed you did get "fat children" i recently saw a family wedding picture where my aunts were between 6 and 12 and the older ones were indeed a bit plump.

I've probably spoken a bit imprecisely here - what I mean is, for people trying to fit exercise into their lives, walking is the most achievable and effective means of doing so, and it's perfectly possible to achieve a high level of fitness from walking only. It is a great calorie burner, it's low impact, and it slots in around the rest of your life, so for many people, it's the best form of routine exercise.

I'm very fit from walking only - 40 minutes each weekday day from walking to and from the station and a couple of long walks a month for fun. It's virtually the only exercise I do apart from an occasional swim and I have a really good level of fitness.

Of course you absolutely can and will get very fit from frequent high intensity workouts or weight lifting if those are things you enjoy or make time for, but for someone like OP's daughter who doesn't want to play sport or exercise for fun, she can definitely meet her exercise requirements from walking if it gets built into her daily routine.

Here are some sources about the benefits of walking for exercise:

https://www.vogue.co.uk/article/brisk-walking-benefits

https://bjsm.bmj.com/content/52/12/769

nutritionsource.hsph.harvard.edu/walking/

No snacks. No ready meals. No processed foods.
More walk. More outdoor play.
Worked for children of the 50s. No overweight children then.

Sounds like my ds13 when he was that age and me all my childhood

I have given up trying to get ds13 into organised sport but I did bribe him to do couch to 5k and he does now sometimes run a parkrun with me. But that is occasional, not regular. He will also go out with dh sometimes on his nightly walks, as they talk about geeky stuff he’s interested in

I think organised/competitive sport is something some people just don’t get

I worry about ds and this all the time and don’t know what the answer is, for now he’s pretty slim but I think that’s just luck.

there is hope though, after an exceptionally sedentary childhood for me I got really into sport and fitness in my early 20s of my own volition and have been pretty fit ever since

Sounds like you’re trying and you’re modelling good exercise yourself. Some kids just aren’t sporty. I have one active and one more into gaming and art. We just have to be creative about making sure they get enough exercise. Sometimes it’s going swimming, walking or going for a kick around or frisbee at the park which is just fun and not a sport. We also have a trampoline in the garden and over the summer have brought a few new garden games. They move a lot so I’m not worried and eat well.

I wouldn’t push it too much as she’ll associate it with feeling bad. Maybe once in secondary school and more options there she may find something she enjoys.

Ah that's difficult. What is her view on the things you have tried? Would she like to try anything else?

Is there something you can do together? Often it helps if it is modelled. Do you do physical activity – junior Parkrun is good and an adult can join their child. You can just walk it and plenty do. Or the grown-up one which is 5k. Again walkers welcome. Or start doing daily yoga with her. That's not aerobic exercise I know but it's not easy!

I agree with PPs who say walking is great – it needs to be unavoidable though so walk to school, to brownies, to the shops, to friends. Make it a habit to walk rather than using the car.

Keep an eye on her food as well – not in a way that lets her know at all but simply make sure she has access to fruit and veg as snacks and is served reasonable portions. That's in your control ATM and it won't always be.

Ive posted on another thread, my son was similar, he was really chubby, had to be dragged out to walk or go anywhere. He hated sports. The rest of the family is slim and sporty including me and dh. He loved eating, probably was his favourate thing to do!

We did keep him going with one sport but he really had to be encouraged. Sometimes there were arguments about going.

He then became really good at that sport and he started to really love it. Puberty has hit and he has also grown and become tall, slim and muscular. He has now also independantly taken up two other highly active sports. He loves his new physique and has just started to get into nutrition.

It sounds like you are encouraging her and being good role models - I dont think there is much more you can do?

Is this right? Can you point to some evidence for this? I thought ‘exercise’ had to raise your heart rate? Not being arsey, I’ll be delighted if this is true.

Op, if she is playing with friends - tag etc - she will be running around a lot without even knowing she is exercising. Feel the modern obsession with exercise is possibly because kids are so much less active and don’t play outside as much. Does she play out with friends?

My DD was the same, but she loved dodgeball and when she started walking to school the puppy fat dropped off her. I don't think she's ever going to be a gym bunny but she's getting exercise now.

Just keep encouraging a healthy lifestyle but I wouldn't keep pushing things at her, let her choose.

Some people just don't like organised sport. I've always swam or climbed. Our 12yo is the same. We've tried lots of things over the years and he's not liked any organised sport. He finally told us to stop making him try things this summer. He does cycle everywhere though.

Does she like animals? Horse riding or dog walking may encourage her to be more active.

Horseriding? Doesn't really feel like exercise until you get off and realise everything aches.

OP - is she into animals at all? Horse riding is amazing exercise, or even going with you to volunteer to walk dogs (or borrow a friends dog?).

What the fuck is wrong with you?

My ten year old DD is exactly the same and sadly is also prone to over eating so managing her weight is a struggle.

We get out for walks and swimming as a family at the weekend. She’s starting bouldering next week having done a taster session, and I’ve got my fingers crossed she’ll stick with it.

My god!

I was always a skinny kid and did zero exercise. I exercise a lot as an adult and I track my calories as need to remain in specific weight category for my sport and, honestly, exercise does almost nothing to my expenditure. It's all about the quantities of food - smaller portions, fewer snacks.
I wouldn't force it because you don't want to create negative associations. She may well discover her passion for sport later in life. I have. But this is only possible if you stop pushing it now.