AIBU to feel upset after my meeting with my manager?

Wtaf!!!!! Sick line for a while, until you find another job

Leave.
It's a no brainer I would think.
Surely you earn more than minimum wage as a pilates instructor? And it is something you enjoy?
You could work less hours for more money.
I can't imagine why you would stay.
I'm desperate to find a pilates class with a 'live' instructor who can tell me what I'm doing right or wrong. not a blinking les mills or whatever it is programme where if you are new you are simply lost.

Go of sick and stay off until ever second of sick pay is used.. Then leave.

The figures are for unfair dismissal including constructive dismissal. The ET1 form (the form that claimants submit to the tribunal) doesn't separate the two forms of dismissal when making a claim. Whilst constructive dismissal relates to breaches of contract, and unfair dismissal relates to the way an employee is dismissed, they are referenced together as "unfair and constructive dismissal" by Gov.uk.

Constructive dismissal is unacceptable treatment, making it impossible to continue working. Common examples include:
● Non-payment of wages
● Demotion or reduction in responsibilities
● Unilateral changes to pay, hours, or job role
● Harassment, bullying, or discrimination
● Undermining trust and confidence (The implied duty of trust and confidence is breached where the employer, without reasonable and proper cause, conducts itself in a manner likely to destroy or seriously damage the employment relationship)

I would resign but get signed off with stress for my notice period.

Fuck em.

In your position I would build up my side hustle (pilates) and also look for another job. In the meantime I would also be doing a bit of "quiet quitting" as you employers do not value you. Cut back to your basic hours and slow down, so that things begin to pile up. Rather than trying to cope with the extra workload allow it to slide. Look busy but take your time. When your manager whinges tell them you cannot fit in the extra and ask them to prioritise the tasks they want you do. Put the ball back into their court. The fact that they will not increase staff is a management problem. not yours. Use the time you gain to study up for your pilates instruction.

I was in a similar position when I decided to leave my job for uni. In the final year I cut out all the work I had previously did at home. We were being asked to do more and more with less and less so I just allowed things to pile up. I had an appraisal and my manager suggested I was being less productive than I have in previous years. I agreed with him and told him that I was concentrating on what I saw as the essentials. If people in other departments were whinging for things they reckoned I should be doing then they should get up off their asses and do it themselves.

I had used the extra time I gained for my university prep. and resigned a few weeks after my appraisal. I had already sorted my reference for uni so I did not need to trouble my boss.

I’ve only read OP comments - please contact ACAS before you resign.

To lighten the mood...

Those figures are most likely made up of unfair dismissal, which is a lot easier to prove rather than constructive dismissal.

Leave on your own behalf and then you would have to claim constructive dismissal, rather than staying put, being let go, then filing for unfair dismissal.

Companies are a lot more likely to settle a claim for UD, rather than CD.

I would not write any more than "here is my sick note." Let them figure the rest out. DO NOT given them any more ammunition! Save that for when you are interviewed for your next job - it's OK to talk about the increasing and unreasonable workload, but do not mention anything about your supposed "attitude" or "behaviour" (they were out of order there, so don't bring it up - an interview is not a therapy session).

Find out what your notice period is - it's often the same as your pay period, eg 1 week, 1 month. if you're unlucky it might be longer. But you can go sick, then resign. You may even have holiday pay owing to you by the time you actually leave.
If you don't go off sick, and you do go back into work, do as others have suggested - the bare minimum. No extra hours, no working through lunch etc.

I'm sorry this is happening to you, but hold your head up, OP. You are better than them, you have a way out, you can handle this! You'll look back in 6 months months and ask yourself why you put up with it for so long!

You shouldn't be carrying that much stress in a minimum wage job.
You shouldn't be downgraded on a basis of your personality when interaction with customers is good and your work is good.
You should leave as soon as you can, the management sounds absolutely horrendous. The way you've stepped up in managing the team when the manager isn't there and have took on extra work sounds like you're worth so much more than what you're getting. Believe in yourself, put yourself out there and apply for higher paying jobs. You are so much more than what this manager sees in you and plenty of employers would appreciate what you can bring to a team.

This this this!! The absolute fuckers!

Your child is right, even if you stay it will just be more of the same. Same stress, same minimal pay, same lack of appreciation. The next review will be worse. Get out! Enjoy the look on their face when you slap your resignation on their desk.

Sounds like you are perfectly eligible to go on stress leave too. Use your remaining holiday. Take a couple of days to breath then plan plan plan. If money is an issue get thyself to an employment agency for part time contracting to tide you over.

I wonder if we work for the same company. I’ve had an awful time and recently told my behaviours weren’t up to scratch. Apparently I don’t say good morning loud enough amongst other ridiculous things. It’s become apparent they are using behaviours to bully people. Many colleagues made redundant who are nearly all part time mums of young children or those with disabilities.
Im making a plan to leave

I'd definitely contact some temping agencies

Leave.

I wouldn’t put my notice in just yet if I was in your position, I’d rinse my sick pay whilst looking for another job. I’ve seen this happen loads of times.

Separate note to everyone saying look for a job in a supermarket, they have cut staff back to the bare bones and the memories you are looking on fondly don’t exist anymore unfortunately.

I expect they're trying to push you out OP, partly because of your age and partly because they prefer to have contracted staff. You also aren't a "yes" person.

Get signed off sick and use that time to look for another job.
When you return to work do the bare minimum.

I think it’s them not you by the sound of it.

Some managers are threatened by people who are too competent, the manager knows you could do their job and they don’t like it.

i must admit I opened this thread expecting mumsnet to be on the side of the manager as they tend to be. That isn’t the case which is fairly telling.

The way they're treating you is absolutely disgusting. They're taking advantage of you by piling on the work then blaming you when it impacts you. It sounds like such a nasty toxic environment and the issue is management, not you. You're worth so much more than this. I wish you all the luck with your pilates 🥳

@derFutterneid Are you in a Union?

Go on the sick and raise a grievance.

What a dreadful place to work. . Id leave and do the bare minimum during my notice period.

Yeah, you owe them nothing.

Get signed off sick which screws them over - use that breathing space to sort out other opportunities - then resign, ideally with a big 'fuck you'.

This somewhat mirrors my experience.

My employer threatened me with disciplinary action over something minor which I've later realised was due to undiagnosed ADHD made worse by perimenopause. It was the trigger I needed to leave. That was 4 years ago & I have temped ever since, and have been at my current place for 3 years. They value my experience.