AIBU to feel upset after my meeting with my manager?

I know what you mean, I was at my last job for 8 years and loved it at first. Halfway through after a building move and restructure it became toxic and frosty. I left without having another job to go to and worried if I’d made the right decision. It was like boiling frog syndrome as it slowly got worse I couldn’t decide how bad it was! After I left I felt very sad and upset as I kept remembering the good old days, and staff! That was twelve years ago and I spoke to an old colleague from there since. She said it got a lot worse as they had another restructure (everyone reapplying for their jobs on a lower salary!) and morale was low and management were pushing back by being aloof and distant. My friend has lost confidence and won’t attempt to look for another job. I do the same work now but for another company for double her salary! I think it’s the right thing for you to leave, it will only get worse. Wishing you all the best. 🌺

Fuck them. You've done the right thing.

Well done. I'm sure pilates will be infinitely less stressful and they won't make you feel treated like shit.

I've had shit workplaces like that, it's weirdly traumatic and years later I still avoid going near them.

Any chance you could get signed off with work-related stress for your notice period? Something I wish I had done when leaving a previous job, instead of working my arse off trying to leave the place in good order. My name was still mud after I left.

Edited: just seen your update. You have done the right thing. Good luck with your next steps.

I think that's normal, op. Your brain will work through it all soon enough. Its probably the injustice of it all. I'm a great worker but its kind of meaningless in a toxic environment and just doesn't sit with my values. My brain cant make sense of it as it doesn't make sense to me.

Is the company on Glassdoor? Worth reading the reviews on there as part of the moving on' and 'letting go' process. Wishing you good luck for the next chapter xx

@derFutterneid then don’t go back. Why put yourself through it? Either (my preference as you know) go on the sick for as long as you can then resign (by post, not in person, why put yourself through that), or just resign. They could pursue you for lack of notice but it’s unlikely.

i think you have to ask yourself why you’re still going in. You drew a good parallel with an abusive parter. LTB - it’s just that this is a bastard job, not a bastard partner!

Agree with the previous poster who said to go on the sick until your leaving date then hit them with the workplace accident claim. Glad you’re getting out of that toxic environment.

Never put anything in your letter of resignation, it will go nowhere apart from your file.

Just 'please accept this as my letter of resignation, I am currently left with x days leave which are already booked off so my last working day will be y day as per the notice period of z weeks in my contract'. Leave them to make any corrections to take anything out of your final pay packet and if they do it wrong, tackle it then.

This and put in your claim!

"Due to the issues previously raised not being resolved, and the resulting impact on my wellbeing, I feel I am left with no option but to resign. My last working day will be X. Yours sincerely "

Give yourself the option of constructive dismissal claim in future in case you change your mind.

Some organisations do have a policy of only providing factual references; your organisation may be one of them which could be why HR blocked the reference. They need to do all ex-employee refs consistently though and not single individuals out.

One possible approach could be to ask your manager if she would be willing to provide a personal reference?

It is up to you whether you want to give the feedback on your treatment. Re your possible intention to claim for the accident - I suggest that you consider getting preliminary legal advice before doing anything, as they may be able to advise you whether putting your dissatisfaction with them on record at your departure, would be helpful to your claim? (Disclaimer: I am not a lawyer. But I think you should focus now on your own interests and doing what is helpful to those).

That's the case at a lot of places (including mine). But on the plus side, we have a policy that you shouldn't be blindsided like OP was.

I woukd hand my notice in and then email the high up manager you mentioned liked your input and say you speaking up in meetings has resulted in being shit down. You’ve given thirty years and you feel unappreciated so are leaving

Be simple and factual with the resignation.

This is notice of my resignation. My contract statws i need to give X notice. Therefore, my last working day will be Y.

You still have the option of going nuclear, raising a grievance, but do it separately from the resignation.

Most companies these days only do "this person worked here from date 1 to date 2 in the role of whatever" for reference. Previous line managers have said they'd do personal reference if required, but don't let HR know.

Cancel it, take the money, do the bare minimum and spend the money on something nice.

Keep it simple and polite in that case and def go for no win no fee compensation!

Would it be possible to suggest they pay you off to leave? Ask if there is voluntary redundancy (as clearly your face doesn't fit).

I would go on the holiday if you can afford to after everything you have been through.

Did you write to the guy from head office?

Keep it simple and put in the claim.
You can always add your whistle blower stuff in with it as additional stress to the injury.
Your legal advice will guide you.
Congratulations.

I’m going to repeat myself again! Go on the sick! Now! Right up until your new hours start. Then they’ll have to pay you holiday pay as well as sick pay.

Then claim for the accident after you’ve gone. And constructive dismissal if you want to but it’s hell and I’d rather you put this behind you more quickly than that.

Hit them in the pocket at every opportunity then walk off into the sunset.

They don't care enough to put themselves out to reference people.

A majority of businesses will only confirm the basic data these days. Stops ex employees bringing claims they lost a job due to the reference.