Parents selling car to my DS

Well it sounds like your sister is putting in a lot of effort and you just wanted a cheap car. Working out how to communicate in different ways is wonderful. How else would you want her to talk to him if he’s struggling to speak? Sounds like a rudimentary communication device. You seem pretty disengaged from it all which is sad.

This is clear financial abuse. Disgusting.

Has anyone got power of attorney?

It might not help with this particular situation but may be needed later on.

We had a similar situation.

My Dad had all his marbles but neither he or my DM could drive due to ailments, eyesight, being bed bound etc. He knew he'd never drive again.

My daughter needed a car as did my DS. (He had 2) She asked about it and he decided to sell it - at market price. We said my DD had no money.

He then relented and gave them away.

I didn't feel guilty as.... both cars were well past their best and had had bumps with gate posts, post office vans etc.
Both his daughter and grand daughter had a real and immediate need.
He was rolling in it. Near 7 figure sum in bank.

He's entitled to say no, and you not understanding him doesnt mean he lacks capacity.

This thread is quite shocking in the jump to assume you can just ride roughshod over someones wishes and feelings

Even if, if, the pair of them lack capacity, it doesnt mean you simply ignore their wishes, thats not how it works, you still involve people in decision making and take their views into account

In this case, them not selling the car causes them no harm, no disadvantage to their life, its not an issue that someone needs to override them on (whereas medication, going into hospital, moving into a care home would be significant decisions to take).

I havent read the full thread. Who says they dont have capacity, the first page of posters have jumped in saying they dont have capacity?

What do you mean by 'she doesnt know where she is' about your mother - do you mean she is living delusionally? Who has assessed that?

Father not being able to speak doesnt mean he doesnt have capacity, neither does them not being able to communicate in the 'normal' way.

if they are unable to consent and no one has an LPA then its theft.

The way that you talk about your parents sounds quite cold and lacking in empathy.

Are they getting care? Sounds like they need it. Who is sorting out things like that for them?

That’s worse!

Buy the car for market price or don’t, “borrowing” is taking advantage.

It sounds like she chose to live close to them and has also been much more involved with them, even if you both have POA. GPs choosing to help out with grandchildren is often something many deeply enjoy, so I think it's disingenuous to state she's 'taking' from them. What they chose to do in sound mind is very different to what they can't decide for themselves now.

That seems counterproductive. If they do not have capacity who is running things day to day? As long as ds is offering a market price don’t see the issue.

We had this with parents in law convinced they were getting their licenses back one with advanced dementia and one with a serious heart condition/ risk of seizure. We wrote down the value of the car if sold and costs of insurance, tax, maintenance was costing versus a taxi account. It made absolutely no sense at all to keep it.

they ignored us completely. And it sat on their drive unused. It ended up being gifted to one of the grandchildren ( my niece) with all our consent and love after they died. I feel for you op. It’s a terrible time generally this stage of old age.

It’s not fair but then again life isn’t fair. Forget the car - I can see no way around this unless you can persuade your sister.

If the offer is reasonable, and it is easy enough to get the market value of a second hand car, and the money is safely transferred into the parents bank account then I don’t see the problem. Rusty old cars parked on an elderly persons driveway are a magnet for scummy people who will knock at the door and scope the place out or offer “services” to the homeowner.

However, reading your posts there seems to be long term simmering resentment and sniping between you and your sister, and the car is one issue among many. You both need to remember that a POA is a legal agreement designed to protect your parents best interests, not a means for you and your sister to take pot shots at each other.

I don’t think you’re unreasonable for wondering why they’re hesitating, particularly if the car is just sitting there deteriorating and your DS has made a genuine offer. But ultimately it’s their car and they’re entitled to take their time or decide they don’t want to sell it to him. If your DM isn’t really able to understand what’s happening and your DF can’t communicate properly, I’d be more concerned about whether they have the capacity to make the decision themselves and who has authority to deal with their affairs. I’d probably leave the offer on the table and let your sister sort it with them rather than getting caught up in a family argument over the car.

There’s your answer then. It’s a no.

If your DS lives close by, could he offer to pay for the insurance and upkeep etc of and use it just on weekends or just on weekdays and the rest of the time park it there.

It will do the car good keeping it running, will be cheaper for DS and DF can keep his car.

She thinks its unfair to her children if he BUYS the car? Cool let him buy another car and it can rot

Sometimes lessons can only be learned through time

If your Dad doesn't want to sell it because he is under belief he might be able to drive again leave him with hope albeit forlorn. Tell your DS to look for another car. There are loads on Autotrader.

The most important matter is ensuring that your parents have at least one attorney to act for them honestly and compassionately. LPA is a big responsibility. If you and your sister share it, you need to work together properly and not use LPA as a way of scoring points off each other.

Seems you're not in the UK. Lots of talk of POA here but I hope it applies in the same way wherever you are?

You should do nothing. DS can find another car, especially as he's willing to pay a fair price for one. If he isn't, thats a different matter altogether.

If air con is an essential where you live, why does your son want that car if the air con doesn’t work?

I can only assume that he doesn’t want to pay much for it. If he were going to pay a fair market value for it, this wouldn’t be bothering any of you at all as he could just go out and buy another car instead. What does it matter to you if it’s sitting unused? If your parents were struggling financially, and had a car sitting unused, then there would be an argument for suggesting they sell the car (for the best price they can get). It doesn’t sound like this is the case.

Selling things to family is always tricky because someone else may always say “but I wanted that too”. Or if anyone thinks that he got it for cheaper than it was worth, they might feel it’s essentially like they were given a cash gift.

I also agree with all the comments that say if your parents don’t have the capacity to make these sort of decisions, it’s unfair to ask them. Out of curiosity, how much did he offer?

Why let a car stand around rusting, unused? Your son shouldn't even have to buy it - he should simply use it, and of course take responsbility for its insurance,MOT, upkeep and so on. I cannot really fathom what it must be like living in family where someone has a car but cannot drive, and yet would rather let it sit in a garage depreciating than let a close relative who can drive and needs a car use it.

This
Plus the OP sister might just be getting the vehicle valued to ensure a fair price, hence the delay.

Bugger the car. If your parents are in the state you describe, you need to get the poa activated.