AIBU to lock the bathroom door despite my husband's objection?

Why did you ever agree to that the first time he said it? I'd think my DH had gone mad if he started saying things like that!

How is your relationship generally? He sounds awful, honestly.

What a weirdo.

I paused half way through your post, where you said " DH hasn’t been the most supportive and has said my mental health issues are due to me not being proactive enough" - thats bollocks.

The rest of it is just sheer manipulation. Of course you can lock your bathroom door if you like. He is absolutely not to demand you keep it unlocked.

Wow that's controlling and abusive he doesn't give a shit about u !! If he did he would let u be, and be supportive of anything that made u feel safe !
Absolute wanker sorry if that's rude but I can't understand why your putting up with this x

I'm so sorry, my ex was like this. One of the reasons he would be mad with me for locking the door was because if I locked the door, he couldn't invite himself in to my shower to grope and paw at me. A man who doesn't allow you any physical privacy is not a man worth having... The fact that he complains about sex is also very concerning. Is he quite manipulative and sulky about this?

How long have you been together? Has he always been like this, I bet he has other “rules” that he makes you follow even if you are unaware they are a rule. He is abusing you, I know that is hard to hear and many people don’t realise abuse isn’t just the physical kind - control, gaslighting, silent treatment, monitoring your movements, lack of privacy are all abusive. You do not have to put up with this, you do not have to remember silly “rules” you are an adult with your own mind and can decide for yourself how you want to live.

He is an abuser and is controlling you.. 💯 percent. This is not acceptable behaviour in 2026. "I am Nicola" with Vicki McClure might be worth watching..itv player I think..he's definitely well out of order. All that shouting at you when you have PTSD. U probably would find u have a lot better mentwl health away from him.

He's abusive, you have every right to your privacy, furthermore he's incapable of reasoned discussion and prefers to shout and scream? As Mn often says, read your post back as if someone was asking your advice, what would you say?

Something I’ve learned from the past 2+ years recovering / extricating myself from a sexually abusive relationship is that women with severe trauma in their lives send out some kind of bat signal to predatory manipulative men who ‘rescue’ us and give us ‘stability’ via controlling us. We feel safe and stable because they’re very rule driven. But they’re attracted to our weakness and chaos. Get as far away as you can.

OP - do you want this to be your life story?
’ Yes, I’m 96, married for 60 years to a controlling abusive fuckwit. Ah well…’

I've only read your replied. And from those it's very clear you are in an abusive controlling relationship. Leave. It will not ever get better.

gimmeshelta

He wants you to have sex so he plays better?

Where did you find this prince!!

He sounds like cock.

He is a controlling fuck.

"His issue is that I agreed not to lock the bathroom door and then did. He said I should have told him then and there that I would not be locking the door. Because now I’ve betrayed his trust."

he has betrayed your trust by being an arse!

I could not live like that . Leave him he sounds absolutely awful.

Fuck him off; if you’ve no history of self harm he’s being controlling.

What a horrible man.

Fully agree with the above ⬆️

Your husband is abusive, controlling and likely a key reason you are stressed. I would suggest you approach citizens advice whk can put yoh in touch with a local women's support group.

This Isn’t ok - you are entitled to lock the door if you wish.
If I were you I’d suggest talking this issue through with a third party, I suspect he knows what he is asking of you isn’t reasonable but if he doesn’t know, maybe hearing it from a third party would help.
I do suspect he is contributing to your poor mental health though, you deserve so much more than being controlled like this.
I know it’s scary and unknown but life is too short to waste. Be brave and start a new life free from control.

Oh I’m so sorry OP. Your first post was bad and your updates have made it worse. Be clear about this: he is emotionally abusive.

The initial demand to not lock the door is oddly controlling in and of itself, his reaction to you doing so is another level. The fact you are unsure if you are being unreasonable shows how far off your perception of normal healthy relationships has been manipulated.

Take a good look at the rest of your relationship for signs of control too.

Be very careful if you do decide to leave. Controlling men are the most likely to k*ll their partners during or after a split, even if there has been zero violence up to that point.

Page after page telling the OP he’s abusive but not even an acknowledgment of this by OP.

So coercively abusive.
This is a women's aid and absolutely a police matter.
He sounds unhinged and dangerous.
You need advice and support.
This is not normal at all.

I rarely comment but this is an awful read. I really hope you're reading all these comments and able to take it all in that his behaviour is appalling and wrong. You DO NOT DESERVE this treatment.

What would he have done if you had stood your ground? Is it possible you relented because you feared his reaction?

You seem to need those locks because he doesn't respect your boundaries and you struggle with setting them so you need those that are physical. If he's unwilling to understand or unable to feel compassion or you feel unsafe around him then this relationship is not good for you.

"DH hasn’t been the most supportive and has said my mental health issues are due to me not being proactive enough"

I'm thinking, your mental health issues are more likely due to him being a controlling b@stard!

We don't lock the bathroom door because neither of us would intrude on the other's privacy. As others have said, you need to rethink your relationship.