AIBU to lock the bathroom door despite my husband's objection?

Tell him you will be locking the bathroom door when you use the bathroom from now on and you are happy for him to do the same. Tell him it is non negotiable and he needs to control himself not you.

If he has an issue with that he can leave. Nobody over the age of about 3 in my very long life has ever insisted on their right to be in the bathroom with me. This is not a you problem.

As for the “have sex with me to improve my football”, the answer is “no”. You are not his wank sock.

OP, do you have DC with this man?

The fact that you're posting in these terms indicates how deeply you're entrenched in the effects of his abuse. You should not need to ask if his abuse is 'reasonable.'

Your relationship is not equal, kind or mutually supportive. It does not resemble a normal, healthy, happy relationship at all.

Please, please be guided by the wise voices on here and leave him. Leave tomorrow if you can do so safely.

Your husband is wrong- it is normal to want (and receive) privacy, even in a marriage. I agree with pp that he sounds abusive.

My husband is happy to use the loo with the door open. I am absolutely not prepared for anyone to be in the vicinity when I’m having a shit!

he just wants to not have his access to blocked. Controlling arsehole.

Your husband is abusive, absolutely abusive. You don't need his permission to lock the bathroom door. He shouldn't be questioning you doing so. He is being controlling and trying to frighten you. He wants you to know you have no way of escaping him and no safe place.

You need to end this relationship, it will eat you alive.

He obviously thinks you're either masturbating or texting your secret lover. 🙄

Bell end.

It was bad enough before this post - and now it got worse.

You need to get away from this man OP. I am genuinely worried for you.

That's exceptionally controlling.
How dare he try to stop you locking a door!!
And "he needs sex before football"? What on earth.
What a nasty man.

Hi OP. You will possibly be quite overwhelmed and possibly quite distressed at the amount of people telling you how abusive your husband is and how you have to leave him immediately. I hope that this thread isn't actually adding to your distress, there are lots of women in here who want to help. You don't mention why you have PTSD and that's fine but....if your husband knows you have this issue, surely what any spouse would do is be kind and supportive rather than issue commands and lose the plot if they are disobeyed? Was he in your life when the incident that caused you PTSD happened-or is he actually part of the cause?

Are you really asking us if we think you're being unreasonable? Because if you are in any doubt that you might be, you need real life help and support (which you do anyway in my opinion)

Previous posters have mentioned Women's aid which is an excellent shout but your local council should also be able to signpost you to services in your area. I think lots of us are quite concerned about you and would like to hear you're safe and well x

@gimmeshelta fucking run a mile

Your home should be a safe haven. He is causing you stress . can you confide in anyone. X

Its normal to want to poop or shower with a door locked.

And while id understand if there was a self harm risk or medical reason (I had heatstroke living at my parents once and agreed for 48hrs not to lock the bathroom door in case i had a funny turn) otherwise its your choice

He doesnt have a reason for wanting this so its just a control measure. Id seriously consider leaving in case his behaviour escalates

Divorce your abusive husband.

It makes me so sad that in this modern age, in a developed country, there are women who feel their choices are still so limited that they have to live like this.

No one has a right to see you in the shower or on the toilet. OP do you realise how abnormal this is? Please tell me there aren’t children growing up in this dysfunctional environment.

He's an abusive dictatorial arsehole.... and a bully.

Everyone is entitled to privacy, especially in the bathroom.

Tell him to get to fuck.

You're in this state because you're living with an abusive man. It's not about the bathroom door - he just wants you to do as you're told. If it wasn't locking the bathroom door it would be coming straight home from work without stopping off at the supermarket or wearing perfume/makeup to work.

It is hard to believe this is real. Seriously OP why are you still with this absolute knob of a man.

LTB - you are in a seriously emotionally abusive marriage! Your mental health will miraculously improve when you are rid of him! Please speak to womens aid ❤️

He sounds vile. The fact that when you asked why he was upset at you locking the door and his response was that because he’d told you not to is all you need to know. He does not seem to care about you at all. It is very weird to make people feel uncomfortable about locking the bathroom door. Honestly op, no wonder your mental health is not good. He is a major factor. Start making plans to leave. You deserve better.

He’s horrible.

Jesus. Your vagina is not a public convenience to be used by your husband when he feels like it. He is treating you like an object if he wants to have sex to improve his football results.

I think it is no surprise that you are a woman with mental health problems with this kind of controlling husband. I bet if you sat down and started thinking about it there would be lots of examples of him treating you badly, exploding eith rage for small things, controlling things that seem small and innocuous.

You don't have to tell us. But please contact a woman's charity

https://www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk/

08082000247

I bet this is just the tip of the abusive iceberg. You're like the frog that's just realised they're sat in a pan of boiling water.

Has he always wanted the door left unlocked? That is NOT a reasonable request. Everyone is entitled to privacy.

The sex stuff you've added in further comments demonstrates this.

I would bet my first born child that if you weren't living with him your mental health would be SOO much better.

You are in an abusive relationship. You need to make a plan to leave safely.

In the immediate, are you both still at home together? Could you leave the house safely and go somewhere else for the night?

If schools aren't teaching pupils the importance of bodily autonomy for everyone regardless of relationship status, they should be. Some of the posts on this thread are truly chilling.

Dear God - you're married to an absolute cunt.