AIBU to lock the bathroom door despite my husband's objection?

As others have said he is controlling and abusive
Your mh will improve vastly once you're away from this twat
LTB

I hope you don't mind me giving you my opinion which may be a little dramatic for you but it is meant quite seriously regarding your siuationj with your DH. I do not know if your DH has ever been violent towards you or not, but the fact is he was screaming at you over his demands - not suggestions - that you do not lock the door and as you did lock it he has really overreacted. I'm asking you if he's previously been violent, as I worry that if you leave the door open, just for a quiet life, you are in one of your most vulnerable positions. You will be naked, wet and in no position to just jump up and defend yourself, should you leave the door unlocked and he comes in either as a voyeur or he may want sex or worse still he could harm you and may get away with it e.g. if you were pushed under the water by him and you drowned. I really do not mean to alarm you but his reaction is way over the top. He wants to know what you are doing in there - why? and what the hell does he think you are doing which needs his intervention. Please take note of all the posters, no-one agrees with his actions.

Ffs. Just don't. Pick a fight on another thread.

Not the right thread to do this.

I can’t believe what I’ve read, this is total abuse! I’m so sorry you are going through this 💓

Very worried about you op as you haven't come back to us. Let us know that you are ok and please start thinking about ltb

I am perfectly calm. And troll hunting is against the guidelines. You think its bollocks? Report it.

Hysterics?! Really?

We don't lock the bathroom door, but when its closed we know the other is in there and don't disturb. Its called respect of privacy and there is none of that here.

Your're not "a man" of anything or hasn't he noticed.
He is controlling and bullying which is not helping you feel better.
Me? I woul cut my losses and leave,you don't need that.

I had a relative with this rule.
Everytime i went to the toilet at her house she told me i didn't need to lock the door, yet everytime i went to the bathroom she tried to come in?
So i obviously did need to lock it. Weirdo.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with locking a bathroom door. There is nothing wrong with not having sex before his football match. Your DH is a nasty, insecure, controlling bastard and I agree with everyone who says you need out of this relationship,

Another LTB virgin but here we are. LTB

Actually quite worried about you.
He seems very controlling and if he is this way generally you need to seek support from family and friends.

I haven’t read all the replies but I am sure you’ve been told over and over that this is controlling behaviour and is absolutely abuse. If you want to lock the door you should absolutely be able to do it. Does he try to control other parts of your life too?

Do you have friends and family you can talk to? I would slowly make a back up plan to leave safely, slowly start stashing cash away, if this isn’t possibly buy gift cards when you go shopping, ask a friend or family member to look after them for you. Get your ducks in a row as this behaviour is absolutely unacceptable.

My husband was like this. Hated me locking the bathroom door and maintained that married couples never did such a thing. Went so far as to unlock it with a screwdriver at least once when I was taking a shower (despite there being other loos in the house). I also knew, the minute I read your original post, that sex would somehow come into it. It was the same in my case. It's lurking under the anger. Suffice to say we are no longer living together.

Agree 100% with this.

Just adding to the many voices that are saying your husband is abusive and controlling. He totally is. And downright weird. So he walks in on you when you’re on the loo or in the shower and thinks that that’s his right? And shouts at you if he can’t get in? Honestly OP, you need to get away from this twat. I’m sure your mental health would then improve.

Like most replies It is absolutely normal to lock the bathroom door.

I definitely wouldn't want anyone to walk in, whether I'm using the toilet or having a shower.

OP, I keep thinking about you this evening. I really hope you're okay. It must be shocking to read all of these comments and try to absorb the enormity of your situation.

Do you have somewhere you can go? You're not safe where you are. You are being controlled, mistreated and intimidated by a cruel, vicious, abusive man. I think your comments so far have been among the most upsetting I've read for a while on MN.

OP you are in an abusive relationship.

I was in a relationship over 20 years ago with a man who insisted on no locked bathroom doors, he claimed only couples that had this level of freedom with each other could be truly close and in love blah blah.

That man was in fact a controlling, abusive arsehole who eventually put me in hospital when I started to push back.

The fact that you meekly accepted his demand in the first place suggests that he’s ground you well down already, but you need to get away from this man.

He’s an abusive man op and you are being abused. The best thing you can do for your mental health and wellbeing (and your safety) is quietly make your plan to leave and to leave him. Do you work? Is the house jointly owned? Are you married? If the house is rented then you quietly move important things somewhere else, notify the police you’re leaving him and are scared, and disappear one day, send him a message explaining you’ve left due to his abuse, with a few written examples- you won’t let me lock the bathroom door even though we have three bathrooms and scream at me if I lock it, you expect sex when you want it and are angry when it doesn’t happen, for example you insist on sex before every football match. You told me you will leave me if I self harm. You are not someone I want in my
life at all and I will be filing for divorce (if married)
and notify the landlord you’ve fled your abusive partner, police are informed and you won’t be back.