AIBU to lock the bathroom door despite my husband's objection?

WTF, he’s weird and abusive. Is he really saying he wants to walk in whilst you are having a 💩

I don’t like the man, what does he bring to your life? Because it’s not support or privacy.

Right, I strongly suspect that most of your mental health problems might arise from the fact that you’re living with an abuser.

You’re a grown adult. If you want the door locked you lock it FFS. Loads of couples do lock doors when they want to. I don’t want my partner walking in when I am doing a poo, changing a tampon or washing my arse. “Man of my word”, bollocks, you only agreed to it because he bullied you and he is very aware of that.

I think he’s doing this to make you feel unsafe/ vulnerable on purpose.

Just tell him that you’ve changed your mind and in fact you will now be locking the door. If he wants you he can knock or wait, In an emergency he can put a shoulder to it or call the fire brigade.

Then work out how to get away from him and his nasty controlling mind games.

Abuse

So it's just to know he controls you then. He's angry he doesn't control you.

Leave him. He is controlling and abusive. He is projecting that he hides things onto you. You will be much happier without him.

Agree with PP this is extremely concerning behaviour and indicative of control / abuse. Unless there is a backstory that you have only one toilet and he has IBS and genuinely needs frequent access with no warning. It doesn't sound like this is the case given he is suspicious of what you're doing in there, it sounds more like possessive/ control that he can't stand that you might have some time alone that he can't control. He can't give you an answer why he needs this as there isn't a reasonable one.

Your husbands behaviour is not normal you are entitled to lock the bathroom door, i have lived with my Dh for 34 years and not once have we denied each other privacy, i would suggest part of your MH problem is your husband.

Sweetie, this is an abusive relationship

He’s unsupportive, selfish, has no empathy, and has blatant anger issues

Your MH will improve SIGNIFICANTLY if you get rid of him

He sounds bloody awful! Please consider whether your marriage is worth persevering with, because if not, don't stay a minute longer. Your mental health will improve without his toxic negativity in your life. And for his information, the majority of married couples DO lock the bathroom door. Most people don't want to be walked in on when using the toilet FFS.

Everyone needs and deserves privacy whenever they want it. He is an abusive nasty bully. And like everyone else has said I would put good money on your mental health improving vastly if you left him.

There really are some absolutely horrible husbands/partners out there. This man knows you struggle and he’s weaponised it against you. That’s a special kind of abusive bastard.

People who behave like your husband usually have something to HIDE themselves.
Whether it be an affair or an addiction, money problems etc. 😠
They want you to have no privacy and require access to you, your phone etc, as they themselves are paranoid and are protesting too much about you and your actions.

You are being abused. 😔
You need to leave this man.
You need treatment for your PTSD. 🫂
You need to help yourself.
You need to rally outside support.
You need to get your ducks in a row. 🦆
You need to put yourself first and LTB.

I hope you're okay OP @gimmeshelta

"He said married couples don’t need privacy when showering or on the toilet and has been suspicious of what I’m doing in there."

That is controlling and abusive.

Are you a man or woman out of interest?

https://womensaid.org.uk/information-support/womens-aid-directory/

Tell him to get to fuck. No wonder your nerves are shot to bits x

Your husband is a bully. Tell him to fuck off, you don't live by his rules.

If you left him, I have no doubt your mental health would improve significantly. He is abusive.

I would be a nervous wreck if I lived under that pressure. Please take steps to get support and leave him. Womens Aid can be contacted by email if you lack the privacy for a phone call. You are being coercively controlled.

He's controlling and dangerous. Wanting privacy in the bathroom is absolutely normal and him insisting that you never lock the door when showering or going to the toilet is a massive red flag. Does he come into the bathroom on purpose when he knows that you are in there?

You really need to contact one of the domestic abuse charities such as Women's Aid or Rights of Women and start making plans to leave. I assume that you have had to get rid of your car due to finances but that he hasn't had to rid of his. Is that what happened?

Do you have children? If you do, what is your husband like with them?

He is quite unhinged and he’s abusing you. I expect your mental health isn’t completely unaffected by this awful situation.

You have every right to privacy and to lock the door. He is controlling, therefore he’s abusive, you need to leave.

You need a break. That's the logical next step, to relax and destress. For a few weeks. Can you stay at your mums or a friends? ❤️

Once you have your strength back, you obviously should leave this man.

Even if you did have a history of self harming, he still has no right to demand you don’t lock a door, no matter how “concerned” he might be.

this is a power play, plain and simple, he’s being controlling

Not ok and you know it is not!!!