AIBU to lock the bathroom door despite my husband's objection?

He is insane. You can change your mind on a daily basis and do not need his permission to lock or not and this is 100% not a betrayal of his trust. He is a prick and has massive trust issues in the first place with his weird requirement that you keep the door open and trust him. Do yourself a favour and get rid of him or leave him.

From what you've written, the whole toilet door issue sounds like it is just the tip of the iceberg. Based on his controlling (& frankly, weird) behaviour around not locking the door, I suspect that there are a great many aspects of your relationship that others would deem inappropriate, controlling & abusive, but you have become so conditioned to them that you see them as perfectly normal.
I wouldn't be at all suprised if getting rid of him improved your mental health immeasurably.
I'm sorry you're being subjected to this but you are in an abusive relationship and you need to find a way to free yourself from his coercive and controlling behaviour.
Hopefully Women's Aid would be able to help you.

Don't think you can legally do that, it's the marital home, he has a legal right to live there.
I would be looking at divorce.

I am sorry that you are struggling atm.

Two things.

We are all entitled to our privacy (i certainly wouldn't want to see my other half on the toilet) But if amyone used the word 'rule' to me in a relationship I would be gone.

Is this what you want for your life ?

This.

Men who think that just because you're their romantic partner that they should have access to you at all times are the fucking worst. Men who think you should obey them are also the fucking worst.

I sincerely hope that you see that your life would be so much better without this man in it.

What he's doing is yanking your leash just to see how much power he has over you.

Then he's turning his irrationality and unrasonableness into an accusation against you - you've betrayed his trust, he says.

The problem here isn't you.

This man sounds really dangerous.

Op, how do you not know that you are in an abusive relationship and that he is a controlling bully? None of your responses have particularly addressed this.

I wonder what your understanding of relationships is?

do you have anyone in real life you can talk to about this? Women’s aid will help you if not.

He is being abusive about the bathroom door issues.

Also I dont think anyone has mentioned the other bit about him blaming your mh issues on not being proactive enough.

I really think you would feel better without him in your life. I bet there are many other occasions when he has behaved similarly

Lock your door. You are an adult, you are able to make up your own mind and you do not need to placate your husband here.

The fact he's screaming at you for locking the door tells me you need that door lock. He is not healthy for you. Is there a possibility that he's the cause of your anxiety? Because I think he is.

What on earth is he afraid you might be doing? My first thought went to self harm or substance abuse but you say that's not a problem. This is really bizarre to me. Living with a person with MH problems is a really difficult but this sounds highly irrational and abusive, as pp say.

I think you need to tell us a bit more about the relationship. How are things in general, is he OK about other stuff? Is he controlling in other ways or is it just about locked doors. (My thoughts are could HE have a PTSD issue relating to toilets, a family member attempting suicide etc) What event sparked your PTSD?

I am pretty sure your mental health would improve dramatically if you separated from this horrible controlling man.

“Because I asked you” sounds too much like ”because I’m the boss and you do as I say”

Does he think he’s in the 1800s or something? That’s no way to behave with a wife or anyone!

Everybody has a right to lock the bathroom door. I imagine a lot of husbands / wives do. Certain from the numbers above. We do in our home.

You’ve apologised for forgetting. So don’t apologise again. There’s nothing to apologise for (except he should be apologising for being controlling and shouting but that’s not going to happen!). Say I made a mistake when I said I wouldn’t lock the door. I’m entitled to my privacy and I will be locking the door in future. Many couples do and there’s nothing weird or unusual about it.

I bet he’s controlling in other ways. Does he shout a lot too? He’s trying to bully you and control you. This is not a healthy relationship!

Please leave - hes abusive. You deserve so much more.

ive only read your posts op. But i am assuming every post, once it was clarified that you are not at risk of self harm, thinks the same. Your husband is an absolute controlling cock of a bastard. Who taf does he think he is?!

Are there children involved in this abusive marriage? I hope not.

I really hope he is not screaming. Not really screaming.
Do you have a disability which means he would be worried if anything happened to you and the door was locked ? Is that his anxiety ? I see you have PTSD. Is he worried you will hurt yourself. Even if you have not done so.
If not tell him he is being entirely unreasonable. And to stop screaming.

You cannot recover from PTSD while you are living with an abuser.

Please, please get help. Go to Women's Aid, Refuge, Rights of Women, the police, your GP, your therapist or psychologist if you have one for your PTSD treatment, anyone who you can speak to TODAY. Tell someone.

Your mental health issues will only start to improve when you leave this awful man.

Your DH is abusing you. That incudes his gaslighting you to believe that your entirely normal desire for boundaries ( including locking the bathroom door ).

It’s worth you contacting WA or similar to start to look at what’s going on.

No wonder you have PTSD and anxiety.

I know it’s hard to accept, but you are being abused.

He telling you very clearly that he doesn't give a shit about you. I'm sorry but you need to get rid of him. You won't get better while he's abusing you.

No no no no no!! I am echoing the PP's before me. OP, this is grave situation.

He is abusive, controlling and will exacerbate your PTSD to a point that could be terrifying. He isn't on your team, not even remotely.

I've known some twats in my life, but never before have I heard of anyone demanding bathroom doors can't be locked. LEAVE

Just why I was going to say. It's no one else's business if you lock the bathroom when you are in there

That is not a normal way to live. You have every right to be able to shower and use the toilet with privacy. You have every right to a safe place and to lock the door.
This is abusive behaviour from your partner. I suspect your mental health will improve significantly if you leave this relationship