AIBU to lock the bathroom door despite my husband's objection?

Because he’s a a controlling bastard. Why do you think he’s right? Surely the op knows more that she’s not trying to top herself than you do.

Get out. I bet your mental health will improve pdq.

Some men are completely unhinged in their entitlement. They don't actually like women. He doesn't like you, OP.

I think your problems go beyond the door locking episode detailed in the post.

The line, "because I said so" sticks out.

That line doesn't belong in an equal, respecting and loving relationship.

There seem to be aspects of control, bullying, coercive behaviour in what's been going on.

I think you need to consider your place in this relationship. I may be you can sort it out amicably, you may choose to put up with it or simply leave.

As regards locking the door/leaving it unlocked/open/shut its up to the individual how they feel/what they are doing/who else is in the house/habitual behaviour.

The only time it may be an issue is if you only have one bathroom and someone is in the bath/shower. But even then, to put it crudely, you don't want to be in the bath when your partner comes in for a dump!

What’s odd is that you don’t seem to understand that many people do things differently .
99% of respondents don’t think the OP is being unreasonable.

He’s a bully, OP, but you know that.

Jesus. You do not need this man.

He is a piece of shit.

He is not helping you recover from your PTSD and is actually abusing you.

I was in an abusive relationship - the "because I asked you to" unreasonable demands, and the gaslighting.

You need to leave him.

With all due respect no wonder you are struggling to manage your mental health. You are absolutely allowed privacy in a marriage, he sounds absolutely appalling.

This gets worse. Are you his plaything to do with as he wants? He literally doesn't give a damn about your feelings

Me and my husband don't lock the door either and just walk in and out if we need to, but that's done with mutual consent, if either of us wants privacy then we just say "nope not now!" if the other one tries to come in. And if my husband wanted to lock the door I wouldn't scream at him or tell him he's wrong, it would be his preference and I wouldn't even comment on it.

suspicious of what you are doing in there, but doesn't think you self harm?....

I always lock the bathroom door.
What’s his problem with it?
Is he controlling in other ways?

This sounds very familiar.
My controlling ex partner was always a lot more “difficult to cope with” if we hadn’t had sex as often as he wanted to.
You don’t need to put up with it, OP.

OP, this is not acceptable behaviour- it’s very controlling and abusive. Everyone is allowed privacy for any reason. Honestly, I’d change the locks to the house whilst he’s out!

Maybe you could come to a compromise. Perhaps you could agree not to lock the door, while he promises that he will always knock first and ask if he can come in.

Sorry but no.

She doesnt need to come to a compromise with him on locking the bathroom door!

Your suggestion is the agreement I had with my children when they were young enough to first start using the bathroom without direct supervision. It's not approrpiate for a capable adult.

None of this is normal, and it's not your fault.

Your husband is bizarrely controlling.

He is also abusive toward you.

He also has absolutely no understanding whatsoever of mental health issues, let alone PTSD specifically, and doesn't seem to have any intention of learning.

And based on your follow-up he is also a sex pest who doesn't understand consent.

Can you get away from him? If you are seeing a therapist, have you raised these issues with them to help you make sense of them and figure out a plan? This would be a very difficult and unfortunate situation in any case, but if you're struggling with PTSD that is going to make it harder in many ways.

from what you are saying everything and anything is your fault. You are to blame for everything he doesn’t like. This is because he is an abuser.

my aunt lived with a man like that, she stuck up for him through everything and is now a bitter woman due to what she has been through. She is a shadow of her old self.

please don’t stay in this relationship, I can assure you your mental health will vastly improve if you leave.

None of this is normal or acceptable. This is not in any way a good relationship.

Your latest update OP good grief. This is LTB territory.

Jesus Christ, OP. This is awful.

Just in case there is any doubt in your mind, you're not a pair of lucky socks or any other sort of pre match ritual! And you are allowed to lock the bathroom door when you use the loo or have a shower.

Whether other people choose to or not is completely irrelevant. It's not something you need permission to do.

You really need to look closely at this relationship. Confide in someone close to you about everything. I really think this sounds so controlling and abusive

Leave this turd

Dear OP, I am very worried about you and really hope you are getting some help and support with your PTSD. Has your husband spoken to anyone about how he can support you and help you when you are struggling with your PTSD? Maybe this would help you both.
From what you have said, it sounds as though there is a complete lack of trust between you and your husband, with you not trusting him and him not trusting you.
Can I also ask about something you mentioned regarding the bathroom door? You said that you locked it even when there was nobody else in the house because you had simply "forgotten" to leave it unlocked. Do you think locking it is something you do automatically, perhaps because you are used to locking the door? It is quite unusual to lock the bathroom door when you are on your own.
I just wonder whether your husband might interpret this differently and feel that, by shutting the door, you are shutting him out of your problems and don't want his help, even though that may not be what you mean at all. Perhaps it is something you could explain to him, so he understands that it isn't about keeping him out. Just explain that there are plenty of things you probably don't want your husband to see you doing in the bathroom – crying, shaving your legs, using a tampon or having a poo! 😂 Ask him would he really like to see these things

Maybe you could come to a compromise. Perhaps you could agree not to lock the door, while he promises that he will always knock first and ask if he can come in.
I really hope you are both able to get some support with this, because it sounds as though you are both finding the situation very difficult and have reached the point where you are both losing patience with each other.
This is just another perspective. I know many people on here will disagree with me and think he is being controlling, but I just wonder whether there might be another way of looking at all this.

You have support here, OP- lots of it!
Think what you want and need for YOURSELF and think what you need to do.
Talk it through here if it helps.