AIBU to lock the bathroom door despite my husband's objection?

Good grief, this man is an abusive prick!

Leave him and your ptsd will improve

Throw the whole man out

Abusive and controlling. LTB

Sounds like he thinks he's entitled to your body in any way he wants. And he's making sure you font even have physical privacy. I do think thats a good reason to split up.

Why are you policing OP on her own thread? OP should be able to post as many times as she wants to provide further information or clarification.There is value in her adding more examples of his abusive behaviour as she might not have anyone to speak to about this irl and it's probably quite cathartic for her to confide in complete strangers.

"I’ve asked why it’s so important to him but he keeps screaming “you’re not even sorry”"

So….. when are you filing for divorce?

So you are not only not allowed to lock the toilet door but you aren't even allowed to shut it? Your husband is trying to humiliate you by exposing you when you are on the toilet. He's an abusive controlling pervert.

Why shouldn't she post about it if she wants to?
It sounds like she is coming to terms and adding up the behaviour and very much wants to tell someone. If it is helping her realise that she's not over reacting that his behaviour is not normal, then why shouldn't she?

You know you need to leave him

This is abusive OP. Do you have a good friend or a family member that you can confide him? It's not ok and not normal for someone in a relationship with someone else to behave in such a controlling way, nor is it ok or normal to scream at their loved one. Please find some support, either in real life or online. You are worth so much more than this x

Are you physically safe? Or have any reason to believe he’d harm you?

If he’s not prone to physical threats or intimidation I think you should start pushing back.

”That’s a strange request and I’m not comfortable with it unless you have a valid reason.”

”I’m your partner, not your child. Where does this idea that I should obey you even when it makes me uncomfortable come from?”

Dear @gimmeshelta Please read @mathanxiety 's post. It's good advice.

This man is horrific. I would be frightened to be in the same room as someone like that.

After reading your post about how angry he was re the football - his playing badly is also your fault.. There is zero doubt that he is abusive. The fact that he is always shouting at you and setting unreasonable rules just sounds like he is about to start getting violent.

People have said tell him this and challenge him on that.. But I think that you should instead, stay calm, act as normal and call Women's Aid for advice on how to leave him safely. or your GP.

Don't give him any clue as to what you are thinking of doing. You can say your piece when you are safely away from him.

Do you work? and have any real life family or friends or colleagues that you trust who might be able to help you.

This is way beyond bathroom door locking rights or telling him that he's not the boss of you. YOu really need to think of how to get to safety first and foremost. You have been through some trauma, but that just means that you are already brave, already a survivor. Wishing you all the very best x

Shocking. Agree with others it is abusive. If he thinks you don't trust him then he is right. Once you have said you need to lock the door that should be enough. Do you have another toilet he could use in case he needs to use it when you are in the bathroom? That's the only reason I can think off why he would need to enter the bathroom while you are in it. Bad.

This is extremely concerning OP. This is clearly about obedience and him needing you to have no boundaries. You really need to leave this man.

When I started reading this I thought you were going in the direction of you had a breakdown and he’s scared of what you’ll do in there. But the fact that he just wants access to you when you’re the most vulnerable (undressed, on the toilet) is a huge red flag and it is not okay.

I don’t usually comment on these threads, but this is horrible, controlling behaviour. How much privacy you want when in the bathroom (or anywhere else) is for you to decide, not him. The screaming and raging at you is disproportionate and unjustifiable.

Why are you so accepting of this? Is this a pattern you’ve become habituated to? I suspect he’s ground you down.

OP I agree with PPs, the examples you've given sound very abusive. He doesn't want you to have privacy or a safe space. That is not ok. Call Women's Aid for advice and if you can, leave him to keep yourself safe.

You have misunderstood my comment/I wasn't clear.
I was suggesting there's an issue with him being suspicious of anything she could be doing in there if he isn't concerned she is hurting herself. It's definitely controlling and probably not the only example of it in the relationship.

There’s no real value op in your just adding more and more anecdotes about how awful he is.

He “needs sex to make him play football better” oh good grief I’ve heard it all now 🙄 I advise you to get away from this bloke as soon as possible. What a weirdo.

LTAH (Leave The ArseHole).

My very abusive (and I know abuse isn’t a spectrum but I’m adding very in as it fits) ex husband wouldn’t let me lock the bathroom door.
OP he is abusing you. It is abuse. You are allowed to lock it. You can also wear what you like. Read what you like. Listen to whatever music you like. Eat what you like.
He is abusive. Simple.
If you have no children and enough money to get out, get out now. Today.

Honestly I had an ex like this he would refuse to shower unless he showered with me to the point of smelling i locked the toilet door once he got a ladder and looked in the window at the top he then removed the lock from the doors divorcing this fruit loop was the best thing I did (and NO he wasn't like that 90% of the relationship just the last 18 months or so)