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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Neighbour calls at 8:30 am on Saturday to tell me she is stressed?

403 replies

Kate011 · 05/09/2026 10:29

And by neighbour I mean lady in my building two floors above me. Who says hi and stops to make small talk/chat with me sometimes.

I answer phone call at 8:30 am because I think it’s an emergency.

she starts telling me how she’s under a lot of stress right now because she lost her keys?

I ask if she wants me to let her in building, she says no, she’s in her flat, she had spare key to her flat and someone let her in building.

and asks me if Tesco does copies? (Tesco is like 3 minutes away by bus) And where she can get replacement?

I tell her council does replacements as it’s a council building. she then asks how to contact council to get replacement.

She knows I rent privately in this building from private landlord so don’t have contact with council and been living here much, much less than she did? So how would I know?

she lived in building 16 years, how does she not know how to contact the council about lost keys?

and what does she expect me to do?

Or was she expecting me to offer one of our keys while she waits for council key replacement??

She keeps ranting and complaining about how she’s so annoyed.

She has a close couple friend living in the building. They always hang out together.

why not call and tell them this?

she also has a daughter and two 18 year old grandkids who she says are super close to her living nearby.

she told me she has so many friends. Why contact me this early out of all people??

sometime ago I remember she knocked on January 1st on my door asking if my daughter can help connect her to/figure out her problem with her tv. I barely knew her then.

another time she kept complaining how she has no heating nearly all winter and doesn’t know how to complain to the council repair team. And asked if I knew how to. When she asked I suggested she ask her daughter for help she said “oh I don’t want to bother people, they have their own lives and problems” .

but calling at 8:30 on Saturday is bit ridiculous no?

OP posts:
Duckiewasthefirstniceguy · Yesterday 09:22

Kate011 · Yesterday 09:11

Oh cmon

that’s ridiculous. Deciding to call someone on weekend morning to complain you lost your keys especially when you have close friends in the building and family living nearby you can rant to is not a genuine difficulty.

she doesn’t need my help googling local key cutters

and I believe what other posters said she didn’t want to bother her close friends and family at this hour as they could be sleeping in/relaxing so she decided to bother me

Edited

It’s bizarre that you’ve been stewing about this for over 24 hours.

Learn to say ‘sorry, can’t help’, put the phone down and go about your day.

Newbabynewhouse · Yesterday 09:17

She sounds like she might have a learning disability and lacks capacity to make the right decisions? I could be completely wrong but that's the vibe I'm getting. Maybe she is lonely and she pretends to have friends? I understand its annoying though. Maybe if she does it again, you could say to her you're not usually up and ready ona. Weekend until after 10 and only answer to emergencies.

Firefly100 · Yesterday 09:16

Livpool · 05/09/2026 19:14

YANBU

I have had stuff like this before. My DH said I have a friendly face. You need to tell her not to contact you unless it is a genuine emergency. 8:30 on a Saturday is far too early. I start work at 7am all week and like a lie in at the weekend.

My DH said I have a friendly face - yeah, female. Men just don’t get this shit

Kate011 · Yesterday 09:11

nevertherightweather · Yesterday 07:21

I was thinking exactly this. 😢

Oh cmon

that’s ridiculous. Deciding to call someone on weekend morning to complain you lost your keys especially when you have close friends in the building and family living nearby you can rant to is not a genuine difficulty.

she doesn’t need my help googling local key cutters

and I believe what other posters said she didn’t want to bother her close friends and family at this hour as they could be sleeping in/relaxing so she decided to bother me

OP posts:
Kate011 · Yesterday 09:06

oldmoaner · Yesterday 08:30

If your not a friend why has she got your phone number? I don't give my number out willy nilly.
8.30am on a Saturday isn't early, not to a lot of people.
When she says she dosen't "want to" ask her family they have their own lives, think, do you see then often visit her? Maybe they just dont help her or bother with her. If you don't want to bother with her or she's a pest, block her number, avoid her, don't answer door to her (assume you have a spy hole) as the advert says Talking helps, do you really know her situation?

  1. i answered this many times already. It was for emergency reasons
  2. many people relax and sleep in on weekends. i would never call someone at this hour/day unless its an emergency. Especially someone I’m not close to or about nonsense such as I’m annoyed I have to replace my keys
  3. yes they often visit her! I always see her either hanging out with them, a group of friends or with other people she’s close friends with in building. Having dinner parties etc If she’s not hanging out with a group of people she is always on the phone always chatting with someone for hours. She always shows pics of their dinner parties, holidays together etc

i guess that’s main reason what I got so annoyed. It’s like she doesn’t want to bother them as she values their time so she decides it’s ok to bother me

OP posts:
oldmoaner · Yesterday 08:30

If your not a friend why has she got your phone number? I don't give my number out willy nilly.
8.30am on a Saturday isn't early, not to a lot of people.
When she says she dosen't "want to" ask her family they have their own lives, think, do you see then often visit her? Maybe they just dont help her or bother with her. If you don't want to bother with her or she's a pest, block her number, avoid her, don't answer door to her (assume you have a spy hole) as the advert says Talking helps, do you really know her situation?

Mapleleafinengland · Yesterday 07:45

I would say this lady may have mental health issues. Be kind

YourNattyGreyViewer · Yesterday 07:36

Ignore her, it’s the only way, and turn your phone or volume off at ungodly hours. Also tell her to only ring or knock on door in genuine emergencies!

Lievre · Yesterday 07:36

Sorry if I’ve missed this but are we talking about one phone call?

nevertherightweather · Yesterday 07:21

FuglyBitch · 05/09/2026 10:34

There’s no more compassion left in the world, I guess community means helping people through a difficult time (different people find different situations difficult) knowing that one day you might also need help

I was thinking exactly this. 😢

DuskyRoses · Yesterday 07:19

Ladygodalmighty · Yesterday 01:20

She sounds very like my elderly neighbour who is early stage dementia. She phoned me 15 times between 3 and 4 am asking if I could come in and rub her sore back! She also didn't want to bother her family???

OP has answered several times to say the neighbour is in her 40s and does not have dementia.

YourNattyGreyViewer · Yesterday 06:57

You are not being unreasonable about the 8.30 am call but I think a call or knock on the door any time from her would rile you as it would me. The only way to stop it is to block her calls, and don’t answer the door, if you feel like it you can let her know what you are planning to do it’s up to you but I think this person should have a dedicated person anyway as she sounds like she needs some sort of care as she definitely has MH problems imo. Luckily she has other friends in the building, you could talk to them asking who is responsible for her. But anyway turn the volume off on your phone at unsocial hours so she can’t contact you, that would be my advice, the more you talk to her the more she will call you. Good luck!

SixtySomething · Yesterday 06:33

Justmeee22 · 05/09/2026 23:20

This is why I don't really bother with a lot of people.

Some people, you help them out and then they just see you as some sort of soft touch and are totally inconsiderate.

Agreed. But most people are not like that. You just need to stay away from the takers.

Flippingnora100 · Yesterday 02:45

I don’t really understand why you are so annoyed. I do understand why you don’t want to do things for her that she could do herself. Next time, just politely point her in the right direction and let her get on with it, e.g., “You’ll have to call the council to get your problem sorted out. Take care!”

k1233 · Yesterday 02:12

I've said YABU as 8.30am is a perfectly reasonable time to call someone.

Ladygodalmighty · Yesterday 01:20

Kate011 · 05/09/2026 10:29

And by neighbour I mean lady in my building two floors above me. Who says hi and stops to make small talk/chat with me sometimes.

I answer phone call at 8:30 am because I think it’s an emergency.

she starts telling me how she’s under a lot of stress right now because she lost her keys?

I ask if she wants me to let her in building, she says no, she’s in her flat, she had spare key to her flat and someone let her in building.

and asks me if Tesco does copies? (Tesco is like 3 minutes away by bus) And where she can get replacement?

I tell her council does replacements as it’s a council building. she then asks how to contact council to get replacement.

She knows I rent privately in this building from private landlord so don’t have contact with council and been living here much, much less than she did? So how would I know?

she lived in building 16 years, how does she not know how to contact the council about lost keys?

and what does she expect me to do?

Or was she expecting me to offer one of our keys while she waits for council key replacement??

She keeps ranting and complaining about how she’s so annoyed.

She has a close couple friend living in the building. They always hang out together.

why not call and tell them this?

she also has a daughter and two 18 year old grandkids who she says are super close to her living nearby.

she told me she has so many friends. Why contact me this early out of all people??

sometime ago I remember she knocked on January 1st on my door asking if my daughter can help connect her to/figure out her problem with her tv. I barely knew her then.

another time she kept complaining how she has no heating nearly all winter and doesn’t know how to complain to the council repair team. And asked if I knew how to. When she asked I suggested she ask her daughter for help she said “oh I don’t want to bother people, they have their own lives and problems” .

but calling at 8:30 on Saturday is bit ridiculous no?

She sounds very like my elderly neighbour who is early stage dementia. She phoned me 15 times between 3 and 4 am asking if I could come in and rub her sore back! She also didn't want to bother her family???

Bunny65 · 05/09/2026 23:42

She sounds like a con artist to me. Wants you to loan money to her friends? More likely she wants the money for herself or is getting a cut with her mates. One thing is certain, you would never see the money again. You obviously do come across as a friendly person and also a potential soft touch. You need to learn to shut down people like her really quickly. It sounds as if she has latched on to you as her latest victim. Next time just say no and get rid of her quickly. It is not acceptable to ask someone you barely know to lend you large sums of money, let alone to lend it to her "friends".

BashfulClam · 05/09/2026 23:27

OonaStubbs · 05/09/2026 10:42

8:30 is really not that early.

It is on a Saturday. I got up after 10 this morning.

Justmeee22 · 05/09/2026 23:20

Kate011 · 05/09/2026 10:29

And by neighbour I mean lady in my building two floors above me. Who says hi and stops to make small talk/chat with me sometimes.

I answer phone call at 8:30 am because I think it’s an emergency.

she starts telling me how she’s under a lot of stress right now because she lost her keys?

I ask if she wants me to let her in building, she says no, she’s in her flat, she had spare key to her flat and someone let her in building.

and asks me if Tesco does copies? (Tesco is like 3 minutes away by bus) And where she can get replacement?

I tell her council does replacements as it’s a council building. she then asks how to contact council to get replacement.

She knows I rent privately in this building from private landlord so don’t have contact with council and been living here much, much less than she did? So how would I know?

she lived in building 16 years, how does she not know how to contact the council about lost keys?

and what does she expect me to do?

Or was she expecting me to offer one of our keys while she waits for council key replacement??

She keeps ranting and complaining about how she’s so annoyed.

She has a close couple friend living in the building. They always hang out together.

why not call and tell them this?

she also has a daughter and two 18 year old grandkids who she says are super close to her living nearby.

she told me she has so many friends. Why contact me this early out of all people??

sometime ago I remember she knocked on January 1st on my door asking if my daughter can help connect her to/figure out her problem with her tv. I barely knew her then.

another time she kept complaining how she has no heating nearly all winter and doesn’t know how to complain to the council repair team. And asked if I knew how to. When she asked I suggested she ask her daughter for help she said “oh I don’t want to bother people, they have their own lives and problems” .

but calling at 8:30 on Saturday is bit ridiculous no?

This is why I don't really bother with a lot of people.

Some people, you help them out and then they just see you as some sort of soft touch and are totally inconsiderate.

KeepPumping · 05/09/2026 23:15

FellIntoaCake · 05/09/2026 21:28

Also, I don't understand why people are so aghast that the OP gave her neighbour her phone number. It's not like it was the bag lady by the tube station. My downstairs neighbour has my number; she's not what I'd call a friend, but it means if there's an emergency while one of us is away (for example) we can get in touch.

Even if it WAS weird that the OP had given the neighbour her phone number, what do people want her to do about it now? Unless she's Michael J Fox, she can't pop into a DeLorean and go back to before she gave it to her. Why not advise her on what to do now, in the actual circumstances?

Get a new phone.

FFSItsTooHot · 05/09/2026 23:06

The fact that she said she doesn't want to bother other people who have their own lives and problems says it all. She obviously thinks that's it fine to bother you! And considering that you aren't even a council tenant,I think its ridiculous and unreasonable of her to expect you to know what to do!

FellIntoaCake · 05/09/2026 22:01

8 30 on a Saturday
Why is this significant? It’s not the middle of the night.

It's too bloody early to ring someone you barely know about a non-issue.

Mere1 · 05/09/2026 21:56

Kate011 · 05/09/2026 10:36

  1. its 8:30 am on a Saturday
  2. she has close friends in the building she can contact

and help how exactly???

She doesn’t know how to contact council about lost key???

Edited

8 30 on a Saturday
Why is this significant? It’s not the middle of the night. You probably aren’t rushing to get to work.
If you don’t want to help, tell her not to ring you.

FellIntoaCake · 05/09/2026 21:28

TheFormerMrsTruelove · 05/09/2026 20:57

She’s answered this question five different times. If you can’t be bothered to RTFT then click on the ‘see all’ button on the bottom right hand corner of one of her posts.

Also, I don't understand why people are so aghast that the OP gave her neighbour her phone number. It's not like it was the bag lady by the tube station. My downstairs neighbour has my number; she's not what I'd call a friend, but it means if there's an emergency while one of us is away (for example) we can get in touch.

Even if it WAS weird that the OP had given the neighbour her phone number, what do people want her to do about it now? Unless she's Michael J Fox, she can't pop into a DeLorean and go back to before she gave it to her. Why not advise her on what to do now, in the actual circumstances?

Sunbringer · 05/09/2026 21:24

Block her. If she asks just say your phones been playing up. She’s a busybody.