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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Neighbour calls at 8:30 am on Saturday to tell me she is stressed?

403 replies

Kate011 · 05/09/2026 10:29

And by neighbour I mean lady in my building two floors above me. Who says hi and stops to make small talk/chat with me sometimes.

I answer phone call at 8:30 am because I think it’s an emergency.

she starts telling me how she’s under a lot of stress right now because she lost her keys?

I ask if she wants me to let her in building, she says no, she’s in her flat, she had spare key to her flat and someone let her in building.

and asks me if Tesco does copies? (Tesco is like 3 minutes away by bus) And where she can get replacement?

I tell her council does replacements as it’s a council building. she then asks how to contact council to get replacement.

She knows I rent privately in this building from private landlord so don’t have contact with council and been living here much, much less than she did? So how would I know?

she lived in building 16 years, how does she not know how to contact the council about lost keys?

and what does she expect me to do?

Or was she expecting me to offer one of our keys while she waits for council key replacement??

She keeps ranting and complaining about how she’s so annoyed.

She has a close couple friend living in the building. They always hang out together.

why not call and tell them this?

she also has a daughter and two 18 year old grandkids who she says are super close to her living nearby.

she told me she has so many friends. Why contact me this early out of all people??

sometime ago I remember she knocked on January 1st on my door asking if my daughter can help connect her to/figure out her problem with her tv. I barely knew her then.

another time she kept complaining how she has no heating nearly all winter and doesn’t know how to complain to the council repair team. And asked if I knew how to. When she asked I suggested she ask her daughter for help she said “oh I don’t want to bother people, they have their own lives and problems” .

but calling at 8:30 on Saturday is bit ridiculous no?

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
WerewolfOfLoudon · Today 01:21

Kate011 · Today 01:16

Yeah I was very shocked and confused too.

I would just assume she's closer to 50 and lying about her age.

Kate011 · Today 01:21

feragen · Yesterday 19:09

but calling someone at 8:30 am on a weekend to complain about being annoyed you have to replace your keys, an issue that is easily solved by quick google search is extremely self absorbed

Why isn't your phone on silent if you don't want to be disturbed in the mornings? I don't understand these people who complain about people phoning or texting them at times which are not convenient for them. You have tools on your phone - use them.

Some of the other examples you have given in your thread including a person phoning at 1 am for something. Why isn't your phone on silent?
You can allow calls to come through from a handful of people - such as elderly parents, children etc - and exclude all these other randoms.

I never needed to because other than that one person calling at 1am once I never had anyone call me at this hour for non emergency

OP posts:
Kate011 · Today 01:16

Brideofclover · Yesterday 18:46

I’m gonna be trying to do those sums in my head for a while - if she had her daughter at 12? Her daughter had her daughter at 13???
im flummoxed 😂😂😂 sorry don’t mean to derail your thread @Kate011

Yeah I was very shocked and confused too.

OP posts:
FellIntoaCake · Today 00:35

feragen · Yesterday 19:09

but calling someone at 8:30 am on a weekend to complain about being annoyed you have to replace your keys, an issue that is easily solved by quick google search is extremely self absorbed

Why isn't your phone on silent if you don't want to be disturbed in the mornings? I don't understand these people who complain about people phoning or texting them at times which are not convenient for them. You have tools on your phone - use them.

Some of the other examples you have given in your thread including a person phoning at 1 am for something. Why isn't your phone on silent?
You can allow calls to come through from a handful of people - such as elderly parents, children etc - and exclude all these other randoms.

Meanwhile in the real world, "randoms" wouldn't ring at 8.30 in the morning, so no one would feel the need prevent it using THEIR phone.

99bottlesofkombucha · Today 00:18

Kate011 · Yesterday 19:12

I told her it’s my only key and she said “please” “I really don’t want to wait by door all week” “it’s just for one week, maybe less”

Edited

Did you say so you think I should wait at the door because you lost your key? How do you justify being so entitled? Could you cook me dinner tonight please, I don’t want to cook.

TheFutureIsMine · Yesterday 23:23

Is this some parallel universe? People reading that this is some poor old lady and the OP is awful for not helping when the reality is that this woman is very clearly taking advantage of the op BECAUSE the OP has proven to be kind, and this woman would rather use her than disturb her friends and family because she doesn't give a shit about the OP!
I think you'll have to say No to everything from now on and I bet she'll move very quickly to the next victim and "forget" about your friendship.

Chickadee26 · Yesterday 23:00

Can you set your phone settings so you won't be disturbed until a certain hour? If anybody calls a second time it will go through though.
Or put your phone on mute until you are awake.
Memorize " Too bad so sad" and say it to yourself over and over when people are trying to take advantage of you.

WerewolfOfLoudon · Yesterday 22:36

99problems99 · Yesterday 19:29

I’d be happy to help a stranger. Instead of posting on a public forum asking for opinions and the getting fuming with opposing opinions haha. Make it make sense

Have you bothered to read all of @Kate011's posts? This isn't some elderly neighbour who is struggling and has no one else to ask.

ClarasSisters · Yesterday 21:57

Kate011 · Yesterday 19:12

I told her it’s my only key and she said “please” “I really don’t want to wait by door all week” “it’s just for one week, maybe less”

Edited

I'd have said even if I had a spare I wouldn't lend it to someone liable to lose it..

MeSeM · Yesterday 21:06

Kate011 · 05/09/2026 10:44

Help her how?? Exactly?

she lived like 20 years in building and doesn’t know how to contact the council to ask them to replace her key?

Yes & also if she doesn't know how to replace the keys, it shows she's not someone who makes a habit of doing so, & it would suggest she's not just oftentimes being careless - So it's good you spent time listening to her & you might well have made a huge difference to how upset she had previously been feeling - Thanks to the fact that you chose to give her your time even though it was bewildering-You did well & good by keeping open minded & giving someone the gift of your time is so precious 🙏

GinaandGin · Yesterday 21:02

OttersOnAPlane · Yesterday 20:01

Can I recommend the book Unkind by Victoria Smith to anyone wondering why the OP is irked?

100
Be kind is a disservice to women

GenerationX1969 · Yesterday 21:00

You have my sympathy, OP. My neighbour is a widow, not overly old (late 60s)
She has no children or family or friends and relies on neighbours for everything!
I’ve had to keep my distance because she has no boundaries. She’ll ask us to change lightbulbs, get rid of spiders, you name it.
The problem is, when you pop round, you can’t get away because she talks and talks.

Coffeewinecake · Yesterday 20:45

99problems99 · Yesterday 18:57

You can’t be that naive to think it’s clearly not that straight forward.. she obviously needs additional help and doesn’t see things as you do.. maybe vulnerable..? Ask her how you can help. Takes seconds. Creates a good rapport

We can build a rapport!
I have a list of menial jobs that I don’t want to do and don’t want to bother family with.
Can you do them?
It will give me more time to other more interesting things.
It really is as straightforward as it sounds.

Cawfee0 · Yesterday 20:16

Bunny65 · Yesterday 19:08

Obviously the people who think you're being so cruel would lay themselves down as a doormat for this woman, give her their keys, lend her money for her to loan her friends and be available day and night to take her calls.

They're the takers in life. That's why they're preaching their 'be kind' utter nonsense.

Cawfee0 · Yesterday 20:09

99problems99 · Yesterday 18:56

Again. Obnoxious.
try thinking maybe she can’t go to them
for help? Not everything is as it seems. Kindness is free. Just be kind to her it makes no difference to your life for a very short period of time!! You just never know!

Oh piss off with your 'kindness' bullshit. I don't see you being 'kind' to the OP, stop harassing her.

OttersOnAPlane · Yesterday 20:01

Can I recommend the book Unkind by Victoria Smith to anyone wondering why the OP is irked?

Uricon2 · Yesterday 19:57

99problems99 · Yesterday 18:56

Again. Obnoxious.
try thinking maybe she can’t go to them
for help? Not everything is as it seems. Kindness is free. Just be kind to her it makes no difference to your life for a very short period of time!! You just never know!

The "Be Kind" nonsense rears its sickly head

The OP is not about an 80+ with noone to call on about this trivia, but a 45 year old who has plenty of friends but values them so much she doesn't want to bother them.

Block and ignore.

Kate011 · Yesterday 19:36

Batties · 05/09/2026 19:33

How does she have adult grandchildren??

She said she and her daughter had kids very young

OP posts:
thepariscrimefiles · Yesterday 19:35

Kate011 · Yesterday 18:38

She knocked on my door today asking if I can give my keys because she doesn’t want to be forced to wait all week for someone to open door while she waits for replacement.

smh

Edited

Hopefully you said no! Why on earth would she think that you would give her your keys? How would you get in then? She sounds ridiculously entitled and very odd.

Daisywhatsyouranswer · Yesterday 19:33

Gosh op. This escalated, from your neighbour calling at 8,30 as she’s lost her keys, to now yoire living on some form of I am legend world, constantly under siege from randoms asking you to do a myriad of odd things for them

99problems99 · Yesterday 19:31

Kate011 · Yesterday 19:04

well today she is asking to borrow my key because she said she has to wait up to a week to get replacement and she is “so annoyed” she will be forced to wait by door all week for someone to walk in/open

i guess you now think im mean and not kind for saying no

Edited

Not mean or unkind- just maybe jumping to conclusions, and forgive me but if you post on here asking options, expect to get them? Whether they differ to yours or not ?

99problems99 · Yesterday 19:30

OttersOnAPlane · Yesterday 19:03

Because she wanted to vent about an irksome neighbour who bothers her first thing in the morning rather than approach her friends and family.

And then take the piss wanting her actually keys.

She didn’t vent. She asked a question, and an opinion, which I answered. Isn’t that what this page is for or am I missing the point.

99problems99 · Yesterday 19:29

WerewolfOfLoudon · Yesterday 19:02

Give her your number then and you can be kind all you want instead of berating someone for getting to the end of their tether with this woman needing her help so she doesn't bother her own friends or family.

I’d be happy to help a stranger. Instead of posting on a public forum asking for opinions and the getting fuming with opposing opinions haha. Make it make sense

LAMPS1 · Yesterday 19:28

Kate011 · Yesterday 19:25

nope, no solution

Then she is indeed a CF.

Rondayvu · Yesterday 19:27

Kate011 · Yesterday 19:12

I told her it’s my only key and she said “please” “I really don’t want to wait by door all week” “it’s just for one week, maybe less”

Edited

Pure entitlement. Her time is more precious than yours she thinks. Tell her to fuck off.

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