Page 4 | AIBU to ask for advice on how to overturn a school decision - quickly

Canwehavesesomesanityback · 2026-09-05T07:36:05+00:00

What can I do to overturn a school decision - quickly? It is regarding mobile phones. The school has introduced a no phones at school policy. If a teacher is on a journey home and sees a child on a phone, they will “chase them down the street and snatch it out of their hand” as it shows they had a phone in school. There was a horrible and frightening incident fairly near school today. So whilst school were busying themself with catching children out for taking a blazer off at a bus stop or using a phone after school, my child was involved in something bloody terrifying. I’ve been up half the night. It should involve the police, but we are not going down that road and time would have been of the essence anyway. My husband was driving about a minute away from her at the time, happily oblivious. I’m shaken up, but also feel in an impossible situation. This occurred close to school, with a couple of friends, in daylight with people nearby. Her journey also includes much larger elements where she’s on her own and secluded. I’m really fucking angry and revolted too (huge understatement) that the school have the power to dictate the removal of a tool for use outside of school, compromising my child’s safety. As a bare minimum, I want a brick phone allowed in school - turned off, handed in, confiscated if used or seen - I don’t care. I want them to find a way that the other 97% of schools do, so that my child has access to a phone, even if it’s just a brick phone, should she need it out of school. They have lots of draconian rules, appear very rigid and authoritarian. I can grit my teeth on those. I cannot grit my teeth on this one. It’s a very large academy, gives the impression so far that “we are always right and totally trustworthy” and others will have it wrong or lie. Please help. How best to approach a school that seems terrified of giving an inch, (whilst it simultaneously encroaches the fuck and takes miles) to get an outcome that will make my child safer out of school. If you’ve read this far, please help. I also believe from what I’ve seen so far that if I raise this, the school will frequently check my daughter’s bag. I am willing to now break the rules on this, but obviously can’t keep replacing mobiles and she shouldn’t have to be punished by school for it either.

MonetsLilac · Yesterday 11:49

Canwehavesesomesanityback · Yesterday 11:43

Thank you. This means a lot as I have very little bandwidth today. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this batshit too. I thought I was going to have to wade through lots of posts conflating social media, probably a few screwed up ones about my daughter and the incident, the ones who think schools won’t do this even though they are and it’s on their website. Thank you.

I don’t know if there was any consultation.

I’m a new parent to the school, my daughter has just started y7. How will I go about polling parents?

Show quote history

Polling parents? I can't see that working.
I think pp have tried to reassure you about phone confiscations on the journey to and from school; it's not a workable policy.
No teacher is going to snatch your child's phone on the public highway.
If you really aren't happy with the school, perhaps find her a place somewhere else. It's not going to get easier.

Original poster

Canwehavesesomesanityback · Yesterday 11:43

Looklively · Yesterday 09:33

I’m seriously disappointed to see that there is a majority vote in favour of the OP being unreasonable. I can only assume that the vast majority of these voters aren’t working full time jobs and therefore have the flexibility to drop off and pick up their children from school, ferry them between afterschool clubs or don’t have to consider the logistics of collecting one sibling across town from another at the same time. Maybe they don’t have the same draconian rules in place at their own child’s school, or just have their heads stuck up their proverbials and refuse to accept that mobile phones are not just used for surfing socials, but are in fact a highly useful piece of tech (that most savvy adults) have incorporated into our daily lives to juggle all number of different tasks, whilst also providing parents with a remote form of safeguarding that ‘brick’ phones just don’t offer via tracking apps and WhatsApp messaging. This is SECONDARY school we’re talking about here - these soon to be adults don’t need to be ‘protected’ from smart tech - they need their parents to take responsibility and teach them how to use it properly, instead of sticking their heads in the sand and pretending that modern day society isn’t happening around them.
OP we are fighting a very similar situation at our daughter’s school and have had to go through the proper channels to finally get an appointment with the Chair of Governors after a load of nonsense responses from the Head. We were not even consulted as parents before the unilateral decision was made (just two weeks before the end of summer term) that no smart tech would be allowed on school property, despite girls having to walk a quarter of a mile between school buildings on public roads to get back and forth from lessons - and this is even after the school actually locked down a few months ago because a random was approaching students outside the school - which we only knew about because those students with a phone were able to contact their parents (oh, the irony - the school sent a comms out once it was all over). What irks me the most is that we already had a rule banning mobile phones during school, but teachers would often suggest the students got their phones out to check their timetable or fact check something class-related, and they use iPads for lessons - so absolutely no consistency in approach.
OP we put together a poll for other parents to respond to - we got an overwhelming response that agreed that smart tech should be allowed on school premises (but switched off during the school day). And then doubled down and sent a complaint to Ofsted as well, as government guidance is that the schools should work with parents to achieve a suitable outcome, which hasn’t happened in our case.
If you feel passionately about this then I wouldn’t give up - you might be surprised how many others are thinking the same once you put the feelers out to the wider parental community that are also impacted (clearly not the bunch on here that are prob not secondary school parents anyway)!

Thank you. This means a lot as I have very little bandwidth today. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this batshit too. I thought I was going to have to wade through lots of posts conflating social media, probably a few screwed up ones about my daughter and the incident, the ones who think schools won’t do this even though they are and it’s on their website. Thank you.

I don’t know if there was any consultation.

I’m a new parent to the school, my daughter has just started y7. How will I go about polling parents?

OP posts:

fashionqueen0123 · Yesterday 10:33

Canwehavesesomesanityback · Yesterday 01:09

The chase down I’m assuming was the policy reiterated in a jokey way from a teacher this week or from my daughter being jokey due to the sheer number of times they’ve been told about the importance of their uniform, the top button and no mobiles.

I was at the induction meeting prior to the summer holidays and was flummoxed when I heard the policy myself. I agree with no phones in school, but I assumed it meant not used during the school day, by whichever method school wished to employ. I didn’t think it extended beyond the gates. Nearly every single other school has managed.

The anti smartphone group (can’t remember what they’re called) also support brick phones and say disallowing all phones onsite is counterproductive and will alienate parents.

We were told in no uncertain terms in July that a phone seen outside school on the journey home or wherever you’re going onto is not allowed. Staff will even patrol to check blazers are worn and no phone is being used offsite in uniform. If caught, sanctions will be given.

Show quote history

A school can not ban phones from the journey. Teachers aren’t going to be following kids and stealing their phones off them. Or getting on public buses and stealing their phones.

ThisBish · Yesterday 10:30

MyArtfulGreySloth · Yesterday 10:10

What planet do you live on?? 😂😂😂 Jesus wept.

Show quote history

This one?! The parent is complaining that the child can’t get to school safely, but thinks a mobile phone will save them?

sittingonabeach · Yesterday 10:17

Looklively · Yesterday 09:33

I’m seriously disappointed to see that there is a majority vote in favour of the OP being unreasonable. I can only assume that the vast majority of these voters aren’t working full time jobs and therefore have the flexibility to drop off and pick up their children from school, ferry them between afterschool clubs or don’t have to consider the logistics of collecting one sibling across town from another at the same time. Maybe they don’t have the same draconian rules in place at their own child’s school, or just have their heads stuck up their proverbials and refuse to accept that mobile phones are not just used for surfing socials, but are in fact a highly useful piece of tech (that most savvy adults) have incorporated into our daily lives to juggle all number of different tasks, whilst also providing parents with a remote form of safeguarding that ‘brick’ phones just don’t offer via tracking apps and WhatsApp messaging. This is SECONDARY school we’re talking about here - these soon to be adults don’t need to be ‘protected’ from smart tech - they need their parents to take responsibility and teach them how to use it properly, instead of sticking their heads in the sand and pretending that modern day society isn’t happening around them.
OP we are fighting a very similar situation at our daughter’s school and have had to go through the proper channels to finally get an appointment with the Chair of Governors after a load of nonsense responses from the Head. We were not even consulted as parents before the unilateral decision was made (just two weeks before the end of summer term) that no smart tech would be allowed on school property, despite girls having to walk a quarter of a mile between school buildings on public roads to get back and forth from lessons - and this is even after the school actually locked down a few months ago because a random was approaching students outside the school - which we only knew about because those students with a phone were able to contact their parents (oh, the irony - the school sent a comms out once it was all over). What irks me the most is that we already had a rule banning mobile phones during school, but teachers would often suggest the students got their phones out to check their timetable or fact check something class-related, and they use iPads for lessons - so absolutely no consistency in approach.
OP we put together a poll for other parents to respond to - we got an overwhelming response that agreed that smart tech should be allowed on school premises (but switched off during the school day). And then doubled down and sent a complaint to Ofsted as well, as government guidance is that the schools should work with parents to achieve a suitable outcome, which hasn’t happened in our case.
If you feel passionately about this then I wouldn’t give up - you might be surprised how many others are thinking the same once you put the feelers out to the wider parental community that are also impacted (clearly not the bunch on here that are prob not secondary school parents anyway)!

Has OFSTED done anything?

MyArtfulGreySloth · Yesterday 10:10

ThisBish · Yesterday 05:11

Maybe the parents should find a way of getting their child to school safely then?!

What planet do you live on?? 😂😂😂 Jesus wept.

MonetsLilac · Yesterday 09:35

Bigreddog25 · Yesterday 09:32

Give her the phone. Tell her to hide it. Simple as that really. I wouldn't make a big deal of it else they'll know she's probably going to be taking a phone and will be watching her more closely.

Has there actually been an incident where a teacher chased a child down the street and snatched their phone off them? That sounds like absolute nonsense. I'm sure teachers just want to grt home at the end of their shift lile anyone else.

Plus teachers finish after the students, sometimes a couple of hours.

Looklively · Yesterday 09:33

I’m seriously disappointed to see that there is a majority vote in favour of the OP being unreasonable. I can only assume that the vast majority of these voters aren’t working full time jobs and therefore have the flexibility to drop off and pick up their children from school, ferry them between afterschool clubs or don’t have to consider the logistics of collecting one sibling across town from another at the same time. Maybe they don’t have the same draconian rules in place at their own child’s school, or just have their heads stuck up their proverbials and refuse to accept that mobile phones are not just used for surfing socials, but are in fact a highly useful piece of tech (that most savvy adults) have incorporated into our daily lives to juggle all number of different tasks, whilst also providing parents with a remote form of safeguarding that ‘brick’ phones just don’t offer via tracking apps and WhatsApp messaging. This is SECONDARY school we’re talking about here - these soon to be adults don’t need to be ‘protected’ from smart tech - they need their parents to take responsibility and teach them how to use it properly, instead of sticking their heads in the sand and pretending that modern day society isn’t happening around them.
OP we are fighting a very similar situation at our daughter’s school and have had to go through the proper channels to finally get an appointment with the Chair of Governors after a load of nonsense responses from the Head. We were not even consulted as parents before the unilateral decision was made (just two weeks before the end of summer term) that no smart tech would be allowed on school property, despite girls having to walk a quarter of a mile between school buildings on public roads to get back and forth from lessons - and this is even after the school actually locked down a few months ago because a random was approaching students outside the school - which we only knew about because those students with a phone were able to contact their parents (oh, the irony - the school sent a comms out once it was all over). What irks me the most is that we already had a rule banning mobile phones during school, but teachers would often suggest the students got their phones out to check their timetable or fact check something class-related, and they use iPads for lessons - so absolutely no consistency in approach.
OP we put together a poll for other parents to respond to - we got an overwhelming response that agreed that smart tech should be allowed on school premises (but switched off during the school day). And then doubled down and sent a complaint to Ofsted as well, as government guidance is that the schools should work with parents to achieve a suitable outcome, which hasn’t happened in our case.
If you feel passionately about this then I wouldn’t give up - you might be surprised how many others are thinking the same once you put the feelers out to the wider parental community that are also impacted (clearly not the bunch on here that are prob not secondary school parents anyway)!

Bigreddog25 · Yesterday 09:32

Give her the phone. Tell her to hide it. Simple as that really. I wouldn't make a big deal of it else they'll know she's probably going to be taking a phone and will be watching her more closely.

Has there actually been an incident where a teacher chased a child down the street and snatched their phone off them? That sounds like absolute nonsense. I'm sure teachers just want to grt home at the end of their shift lile anyone else.

ZebraPyjamas · Yesterday 09:07

KarcherK5 · 05/09/2026 08:44

How do you know that she doesn’t need a phone, when her own parents know her, know her route home, know that parts of it are secluded, and believe that she does in fact need a phone for her safety? I wouldn’t go walking around secluded places alone without my phone, I can’t imagine why you expect a child to.

Show quote history

If the route the child has to walk is THAT unsafe then they shouldn’t be walking it alone at all! A phone isn’t going to protect them

MonetsLilac · Yesterday 09:04

MissBattleaxe · Yesterday 09:03

I'm in favour of no phones during school time, but no way does the school have the right to police anything outside the gates! At my son's school, phones were off and out of sight, but when school finished and they left the premises, they can do what they want. It's often necessary if there's a delay in their lift home, or if they have to be picked up in a different spot etc.

In school, yes school rules are appropriate, but outside school? no way. I'd be going to the chair of governors and the LEA.

No need, there's no way this would ever happen.

MissBattleaxe · Yesterday 09:03

I'm in favour of no phones during school time, but no way does the school have the right to police anything outside the gates! At my son's school, phones were off and out of sight, but when school finished and they left the premises, they can do what they want. It's often necessary if there's a delay in their lift home, or if they have to be picked up in a different spot etc.

In school, yes school rules are appropriate, but outside school? no way. I'd be going to the chair of governors and the LEA.

RainbowMoonbeam · Yesterday 07:43

Look up theor complaints procedure and be pedantic as all hell in following and escalating it.
In mean time buy her a cheap brick phone she can call/text on in an emergancy for her to take in anyway.

Mommommommymom · Yesterday 07:41

My sons school have pouches - they all have their own pouch they are given in form in the morning , phone goes in and it’s locked and they keep it in their bag the whole day. At the end of the day on the way out , teachers on the door have machines to open them .

This was because the school recognise the importance of having mobile phones for safety after school and also the rights of the children.

a fantastic idea .

Mommommommymom · Yesterday 07:38

Itsnotallaboutyoulikeyouthink · 05/09/2026 16:52

You can’t keep the phone in the bag some schools have scanners.

What an absolute waste of money if the scanner is for that purpose

Mommommommymom · Yesterday 07:37

I would 100% pull my child out of the school. I chose not to apply for a school I had intended to , for this same reason.

To all the people saying no one needs a phone or phones won’t keep you safe - let me guess , that’s because you didn’t have them “ back in your day “ 🙄

You can track your child with them , they have a way of contacting you or anyone for help if they need to. They have a way of getting hind if a pass or ticket is lost.

You have to realise that nowadays there are no pay phones on every street , people don’t know each other and look out for each other like they did , people are hesitant to get involved , children themselves are wary of approaching unfamiliar people for help.

Children are being hurt daily . The world is not safe . A day does not pass without me hearing of a stabbing or assault. If a child is injured on the way home , walking through a quieter area , having a phone to call for help could really mean the difference between life and death.

I would not let my child out of the house without a phone let alone when undertaking a journey to and from school alone. The chance they may see an inappropriate tik tok comes a lot lower down on the list of priorities.

ThisBish · Yesterday 05:11

Maybe the parents should find a way of getting their child to school safely then?!

MonetsLilac · Yesterday 02:35

Canwehavesesomesanityback · Yesterday 01:09

The chase down I’m assuming was the policy reiterated in a jokey way from a teacher this week or from my daughter being jokey due to the sheer number of times they’ve been told about the importance of their uniform, the top button and no mobiles.

I was at the induction meeting prior to the summer holidays and was flummoxed when I heard the policy myself. I agree with no phones in school, but I assumed it meant not used during the school day, by whichever method school wished to employ. I didn’t think it extended beyond the gates. Nearly every single other school has managed.

The anti smartphone group (can’t remember what they’re called) also support brick phones and say disallowing all phones onsite is counterproductive and will alienate parents.

We were told in no uncertain terms in July that a phone seen outside school on the journey home or wherever you’re going onto is not allowed. Staff will even patrol to check blazers are worn and no phone is being used offsite in uniform. If caught, sanctions will be given.

Show quote history

Very unlikely. Let her have a basic phone.

Original poster

Canwehavesesomesanityback · Yesterday 01:09

Grumpyoldcat · 05/09/2026 22:23

Im sorry but a teacher is not going to chase a child down to retrieve a phone outside of school hours or off campus.

The chase down I’m assuming was the policy reiterated in a jokey way from a teacher this week or from my daughter being jokey due to the sheer number of times they’ve been told about the importance of their uniform, the top button and no mobiles.

I was at the induction meeting prior to the summer holidays and was flummoxed when I heard the policy myself. I agree with no phones in school, but I assumed it meant not used during the school day, by whichever method school wished to employ. I didn’t think it extended beyond the gates. Nearly every single other school has managed.

The anti smartphone group (can’t remember what they’re called) also support brick phones and say disallowing all phones onsite is counterproductive and will alienate parents.

We were told in no uncertain terms in July that a phone seen outside school on the journey home or wherever you’re going onto is not allowed. Staff will even patrol to check blazers are worn and no phone is being used offsite in uniform. If caught, sanctions will be given.

OP posts:

Original poster

Canwehavesesomesanityback · Yesterday 00:36

I’m going to look at these in reverse in case of superseding.

OP posts:

Grumpyoldcat · 05/09/2026 22:23

Im sorry but a teacher is not going to chase a child down to retrieve a phone outside of school hours or off campus.

MonetsLilac · 05/09/2026 22:17

Mountainlover26 · 05/09/2026 20:23

Our school has a strict no phones policy (phones are in pouches at school). Totally fine.

There is not a chance the school can police phones on the way home or that they would be chasing a child down the street. The kids at our school are free to use their phones the second they get out the school gates, onto the bus etc. What about kids meeting in town after school to see friends? Would they be banned from using their phone 2 hours after school?

Sorry but never heard anything like this. School care what happens within the gates, not whats happening out of school hours.

Yes, it's unrealistic.

Milkkshake · 05/09/2026 21:43

SuddenlyBecoming · 05/09/2026 18:17

Nope. You seem to repeatedly misread / misunderstand / miss the point of my posts though. Where did I say OP.

Read rather than read into is my tip for you.

Show quote history

"Where did I say OP"?
In your post that we have now spent four posts discussing, you said "If you are so concerned about your child's safety to and from school travel with them..."

Were you talking to the OP, or to someone else?

You seem utterly confused about what you're advising, to whom, and how to articulate it!

weirdoboelady · 05/09/2026 21:14

Viviennemary · 05/09/2026 13:17

Children survived without mobile phones. The school aren't policeman. Your choice not to involve the police. Sorry not much sympathy.

Of course they did. The majority. Children also died without mobile phones.

My own experience commuting to school a long way leads me to KNOW how much stress and worry (me, sisters and parents) would have been mitigated if a phone had been available. I literally went to school wearing a belt purse with 2d (yes, old pennies) in it for years to enable me to call home - and I still had to reverse the charges (remember that?) several times.

I was flashed. I was sexually abused. I got lost due to trains behaving erratically. (All separate events). A phone would have been a gift from heaven. And this is decades ago, a time when according to many of the anti-phone posters things were BETTER.

Mountainlover26 · 05/09/2026 20:28

Pinkpony123 · 05/09/2026 18:22

How far out are the teachers going to see if they have their phone, is this actually happening or is it just what they are saying will happen, I highly doubt teachers are going to sit on the kids door steps to see if they have their phone with then, what if they need their phone (would probably need a smart phone) to get phone or bus tickets up to journey to and from school? I feel this is all a bit extreme!

This is why I struggle to believe this is true. Our school is totally strict with them inside school during school hours, but they happily let them use them as soon as they step out the school (they unlock their phone pouches as they leave).

What about the kids doing after school clubs? Our school has multiple clubs running every night and kids are free to phone parents (transport issues happen all the time, parents stuck in traffic etc).

Either its not true or the school is run by someone crazy! 🤪