I am really hoping to get some advice or hear from other parents who have been through this because my head is completely all over the place right now.
My little boy turned 3 in August, and we are currently going through the EHCP process. His application is heading to panel in October, and I know we have to figure out his school placement direction as things move forward.
I am so stressed and confused about how the school choice actually works. Do I have to choose between a mainstream or a special school myself, or does the panel making the EHCP decide what type of setting he needs? also when would the ehcp be approved as the deadline for applying for schools is January?
To give you an idea of what we are dealing with every single day, his support needs are extremely high. He is autistic (under a pediatrician and awaiting our full multi-agency assessment) and struggles daily with:
Severe eloping with zero sense of danger—I cannot take my eyes off him for a single second.
Intense emotion dysregulation and aggression when he gets overwhelmed.
Sensory processing challenges where everyday environments completely trigger him.
Huge communication hurdles, making it so difficult for him to tell us what he needs, which leads to massive frustration and meltdowns. He can talk but not functionally I cannot have a conversation with him but he can say things such as hi mommy love you mommy and sometimes says I want drink I want this on TV etc but minimal . He sings alot and uses alot of echolalia too
Mostly I think the aggression is frustration
Close supervision required just to keep him safe and others
Positives are he can be sociable he plays with other children at nursery sometimes he loves his cousins (but this can go other way if he gets overwhelmed or frustrated he melts down hits out throws in anger bites screams hits kicks)
He knows everyone's names including family member friends and nursery teachers
Very clever knows all his numbers alphabet and even can read big numbers and shapes
He gives good eye contact but gets distracted easily with everything cannot sit and play he is very very hyper active constantly running climbing wont sit still for even a second so he has possible Adhd too. Gets distracted easily cannot concentrate.
Nursery have had to reduce his hours due to not having the funding to.meet his needs.
I really like a local mainstream school because of its strong reputation for SEN support, but with his level of need, I am terrified that mainstream won't be right, or that people will think he belongs in a special school. At the same time, I do not even know if a special school is what he needs, or how the council panel determines which setting is appropriate.
If anyone has been through the EHCP panel stage with a child with these type of support needs, how did you figure out the mainstream vs. special school choice? How does the panel make that decision, and when do we actually have to lock in our choice?
Any advice or shared experiences would mean the absolute world right now.