To feel i didn't do anything wrong??

I have to say this is what it sounds like to me too.

Why all the drama about a face to face meeting to discuss a very simple and unimportant matter? She didn’t want to do the thing you suggested. That should have been an end to it.

Presumably what the friend might prefer to do instead?

Maybe the friend is rather passive and expects the OP to do all the planning and organising and the OP needs some input from the friend?

This is on you. You were badgering her to do something you knew she didn't want to do. She told you clearly that it was never going to happen. So you tried to organise a face to face to badger her some more and when she ignored it you decided to hold your share of the accommodation hostage until she did what you wanted.

Wrong thread?

Would you really ditch a long term friend so easily and refuse to actually meet up and speak to them about your concerns before throwing away the friendship?

That doesn’t sound like very adult behaviour. Refusing to clarify why they’re upset and expecting the other person to guess is extremely childish and if someone does that to me, I’d walk away as I’m not playing silly guessing games at my age.

Speaking as someone who has gone NC with some people in my life I think it won’t be just this incident if as you say the incident itself wasn’t completely egregious. So it could be worth asking your child what other micro aggressions or contributing factors are going into this. If you don’t want to investigate or hear their side of the story in full this could contribute to them wanting NC.

I can't make sense of this. It can surely only be around the fact she shelled out more money than you and you still owed her for half the accommodation and then suggested further expense for something only you like. Maybe she was waiting to receive payment from you before she would respond? Not sure of the best course of action now to be honest. Its very awkward.

He’s actually surprisingly entertaining or at least he was 20 years ago when my mum dragged a teenage me to Butlins anyway. He was the highlight of the trip for me.

What options? She didn't want to do the thing with the celebrity, that should have been the end of it. Her change in attitude is because OP didn't send her half of the accommodation money in time because she was annoyed at being told no.

She didn't want to do the second experience with a celeb you know she dislikes, this is totally fine, but you framed it as a disagreement so bad that it needed a meet-up to discuss it and you were already pissed off with her and thinking about bailing on the trip at that point. Sounds like a touchy over-reaction which would have really put me off wanting to go on a break with you. She should have replied to your messages faster, but the outcome was the same regardless.

Both of you obv communicate poorly and get on each others' nerves so it's good you're not going. You need to reimburse her half of the painting money and she can rebook.

I don't think you have a friendship anymore, sorry to say. And to ask to meet up in a few weeks time is probably just one of those things people say to placate the other.

And can you blame her? I've read the ops posts...the ops clearly not coughed up for half the accommodation, booked something that she wanted to before asking her friend. And even if thats not the case the whole 'i won't answer any questions, I will be superior and condescending about one reply out of over a hundred and i won't provide theinformation people need to make a decision' just shows why the friend has walked away

I don’t see it like that at all.

I have said ‘bob, susan give me the money for the hotel and now she wants me to go and see olly murs so let’s just go to the hotel ourselves. I’ve already paid. I’ll book you on the painting if you like’.

Was it Katie Hopkins 😳

I don’t see why shouldn’t go away with her own husband in accommodation they have paid for.

I don’t think your friendship is salvageable.

You were wrong, the friend was right.

6 posts from OP and 5 pages of comments, and still, nobody understands what happened or who paid for for what. I think it's clear who the problem is 😬

As she’s going away with her DH now instead of you and her weird refusals to actually meet up in person to discuss the options, I’d suspect that her DH might be behind her change in attitude.

My friends and I prefer to actually meet and TALK in person than send endless back and forth texts, so her reluctance to do that would trigger alarm bells for me.

Maybe they’re having marriage issues?

You're the issue.

You booked the painting, she transferred you half.

She booked the accommodation, you put conditions on you paying that half.

You cant tell her you'll pay your half only after she speaks to you about doing something she made very clear she didn't want to do.

By your blatent lack of understanding that you are the one in the wrong, I can only assume that this is the straw that broke the camels back for her.

What is it she’s actually annoyed about? To stop talking to a friend of 30 yrs because one wanted to do an activity and the other didn’t is ridiculous. Has she behaved like this before?

I’m sorry to say that it sounds like she doesnt like you anymore and wanted to fall out and use the hotel with her husband. She’d hoped to use the experience too! Bit cheeky of her! I think I’d never book another weekend away with her.

Was it boyband in the buff?
But yeah, if you haven't paid for your half of the accommodation that's not fair.

ypu are coming across as tight. Pay her back for the painting.

Based on everything you've said, it sounds like a bust-up has been brewing for a while. Maybe when you made clear you didn't like the particular way she said no to the additional event you had in mind, this for some reason was the straw that broke the camel's back.

It's odd the way she bailed and decided to go with her husband instead, but perhaps from her point of view (rightly or wrongly), you had already effectively cancelled by not paying for your half of the accommodation.

To me, it sounds like a series of misunderstandings from both sides. A frank discussion when things have settled will hopefully be illuminating!

@AmnesiacsDreamnails it. It’s not about the money. She’s gone off you.

Is it likely that her husband didn't like her going away for the weekend?
Otherwise maybe something before all the trip stuff was annoying her if she has been off with you for a bit?
Meet her in a couple of weeks and find out. Then you can decide on the friendship. Perhaps it will just fade a bit now