To not let DS12 go to a waterpark with friends

When you said alone, it sounded like a couple of unaccompanied 12 year olds

Message the scout leader and say he's keen to go, but he's not a particularly strong swimmer and explain it as above - can do 25/50m comfortably, but doesn't have much stamina, so may be more tired and less capable by the end of the session. I wouldn't say this is a non-swimmer though, and generally would say any kid who can do 25/50m comfortably would be fine in a fun leisure pool with slides for an hour or so etc, and I've taken kids with significantly worse swimming ability to similar places and never had an issue, as long as parents let us know beforehand. It's much less tiring to be up and down stairs, queueing etc than it is doing lengths and keeping yourself floating in deep water.

Swimming usually requires a higher ratio anyway, and they'll likely have factored in some extra adults for poor swimmers, so they'll be able to keep a closer eye on him if you let them know it's needed (versus his peers). HOWEVER if you've not made them aware at other water activities that he can't swim well, they may not have this in place. If I'd taken a group and parents had all signed consent for an adventurous water activity without raising swimming ability, I'd expect them all to be fine in a fun pool.

Op please get a grip, he’s going to a water park not swimming the English Channel.

Scouts!! Ah, op, come on…

I would say as an adult I'm probably at a similar swimming standard to your son. I can confidently swim in a pool, but struggle if there is any current and have really poor stamina. As much as I love waterparks, I would no longer go on anything where I was out of my depth or go through anything more rigorous than a lazy river. As a responsible adult, I am able to make sensible choices in relation to my swimming ability. I would not expect a 12 year old to be able to make responsible decisions of this type, particularly when other young people are around and from what you've described, he is overconfident in his own abilities.
I wouldn't say it would be an outright no from me though, considering it is a Scouts trip; I'd try and speak to the leaders, find out more about the supervision and make it clear that your son is not a strong swimmer.

‘If I decide against this trip I will find a reason, I’m not going to tell him I won’t let him.’
i don’t get this. Why would you need to ‘find a reason’? You’re either letting him or you aren’t.
and I stick with my previous post, speak to the scout leaders who are going on the trip, and you say this waterpark looks lame in comparison to the one you took him to?
im confused, this is a weird contradictory post

Bit of a dripfeed it’s with scouts 🤦🏽‍♀️🤣 why not speak to them about his swimming prowess, what they’ll be doing and how much actual risk there is rather than just saying no.
i couldn’t swim as a child and missed out on so much. Get him up to a stronger level too, be proactive, don’t hold him back

Absolutely! Stage 4 level at age 12 is very weak and not enough for the rigours of a waterpark. There’s a park near us and my daughter had to prove that she could swim 50m. She’s county standard so managed it easily but they were doing random checks and picked her because she was only 7 at the time.

I would speak to the Scout leaders about your concerns and to ascertain level of supervision etc. Having run a lot of these sorts of things myself, I wouldn’t be surprised if they have a list of kids they need to supervise more closely and they may be able to offer this. They’ll either be able to offer reassurance that he will be ok or confirm your suspicions that you ought to say no!

If its the cardiff one id let him go, its all very shallow except the circular slide which has full supervision at all times

I can imagine that. Help for teens so tough to find. Could you or his dad get him swimming at a local pool at the weekends just going up and down to build up strength?

One take on this is ‘DN hit his head on a waterslide and it caused dizziness and a head wound, these places can be dangerous.’

Another take is ‘When DN hit his head on a waterslide, it was immediately noticed and first aid was instantly available, these places are as safe as possible’.

Edited for spelling

So the issue is that you are too anxious letting go and do stuff " without you"

I'd work on that tbh as in the next year or so he will want to do exactly that

And if this happens NONE. of the other kids would notice and tell someone either Unlikely. Sounds as though you have anxiety issues as well

It’s a Scout trip…

I agree with those saying yes if adult present, no if not

If I were you I would step up his swimming lessons because is quite old not to be able to swim properly,

He would potentially be able to do an intensive holiday course that would improve his skills fast. This would have thé added benefit of allaying your fears.

It would be a no from me, given all the info provided.

That said anytime we've been to an inflatable / waterpark type place mine have been swim tested (100m at one place but that was a large outdoor river type setting). Its never been age based?

I'd consider getting him a block of 1:1 lessons to help him on his swimming journey. My almost 14yo was slow with his swimming progression and this really helped him.

As a parent l you have a right to worry but you dont have a righ to pass suchi worry on to your child.

This explains it all and it absolutely is about your issues not his inability. Nor the Scouts group's risk assessing. Your risk assessing is off on this particular issue.

You then state in the next post that he is used to being out of his depth as part of his swimming lessons. So he's water confident and he is able to swim 50m. He's also 12 so will be reasonably tall rather than being teeny tiny. Reflect on this.

At some point you are going to have to let go. At 12 he should be able to do this, even if he's on the immature side. As I say it's age appropriate and it's in a controlled environment.

Unless you start to expand his experiences in controlled environments to risker situations you are setting him up for a world of bigger problems when he hits 18 or even 16.

DH gives some of his more immature scouts a responsible task, because he finds that doing this helps them develop the skills they don't have. These are the kids which would dick about. But give them a 'job' and make them feel like they have an important role and they respond to this positively. He's recently had a child with additional needs come to Scouts. He was told they couldn't cope with x, y and z. This isn't in line with what's actually happening. Indeed he's doing better than some of the kids who are capable but have a poor attitude.

Yes your son isn't a great swimmer but it sounds like he is still within his ability levels for the setting- he CAN swim and he IS water confident and it's a controlled pool environment. You need to focus on this rather than assume he's not capable because that is limiting him rather than helping mature and take responsibility for himself.

@PumpkinPost- how tall is he? You can probably look on the water parks website to see how deep the lazy river etc are. In pools like this, kids don’t really swim! They go round and round the lazy rivers, sit on bubble chairs, and go on lots of slides. As long as he can get up out of the splash pool at the bottom of the slides, he’ll be fine, it’s not like a proper swimming session. If he can stand in the lazy river, that would be not swimming, more bobbing along.

Perhaps flag to the leaders that “confidence doesn’t match ability in the water” but he can swim a length so if there was a long “splash zone” at the bottom of a slide, so eg he landed in the middle of the pool he can get to the side.