Resentment over benefits and household costs when I am sole earner

Just because someone is physically disabled it doesn't mean they don't know how to dress appropriately for the weather or that "nine times out if ten they can't follow a route or get lost". OP has not indicated her DH has any cognitive/intellectual disabilities. I certainly don't have any either.

Hang on a minute!! He’s resentful! He’s a fecking peach isn’t he! So he’s happy for you to slog your guts out and provide for the family while he’s kicking back on benefits and spending his money on shit for himself!! I don’t think so sausage!!
Can I ask what exactly he’s bringing to the marriage??

The centre aisle isn’t always crap. You can get useful things for cheap.

If one of his disabilities means he impulse buys crap, then OP should be getting the milk and teaching him to do laundry.

The post suggested it was suggest it was more falling for the shit that they sell in the aisle of crap in Lidl than paint and items that might ever be put to actual use.

No, PIP isn't designed to cover a lower income if the person can't work full time. The questions are independent of that. I am very familiar with the questions and interviews and they are quite specific.

I don’t think DIY items is frittering away on gadgets and gizmos.

The issue is lack of a budget and communication between them.

Agree, PIP & ESA is how he contributes financially and both his and OP’s streams of income should be treated the same.

His benefits are in lieu of wages as he can't work. It needs to be handled as such. He cannot live in a house scott free. What a dosser.

He is absolutely taking the piss OP he either starts paying all his money in to the joint account and actually contributing to the household or you start getting your money paid in to a personal account in your name and live separately you pay your half of the bills and he pays his half you do your food shop he does his see how long he lasts what an absolute prick I’m sorry but people like this really get my back up

No that’s not what counts unless you’re being entirely unreasonable as to whether a disabled person can do a daily living activity. Example, person with disability thinks they’re dressed appropriately for the weather but they are not. Ergo they need help dressing. Example, disabled person thinks they’re safe to drive, but they’re going through red lights, almost hitting school children on zebra crossings and mounting the curb on corners. Example, disabled person thinks they can follow the route of a journey but nine times out of ten they have to ask for help, and/or frequently get lost.

That is why assessments are critical as is medical evidence. There are tons of disabilities where the person isn’t aware of their disability or even if they are, how profound it is compared to abled.

You said you think you can do far less than OP’s DH, perhaps you should apply to have your PIP reassessed. It is quite possible you should be getting more than you are,

He’s being financially abusive.

It doesn’t matter if your money comes from work or benefits - it is shared income.

Seriously OP, you need to separate.

This would really piss me off.
He cares enough for DC to save up for uni but is unable to care enough to cook food that everyone can eat.

I'd consider what it is that keeps you in this relationship.

The assessment is one thing, what PIP covers is broader eg a lower income if the recipient can't work full-time.

Regardless of that, the DH doesn't get to keep it all for himself. Being disabled doesn't absolve him from all responsibility for family life.

So you think because someone is on PIP they don’t have to pay anything to the families living expenses such as mortgage and bills, they begrudgingly ‘help’ pay for food because their wife covers all the other costs and needs help but because it’s called personal independence payment they should be provided for, contribute next to nothing and keep all the PIP money for their own interests?

PIP is also to allow you to pay for someone to do things you can’t do yourself. So as OP is effectively his default carer he should be sharing some of his PIP into the family pot

Woah there! Being disabled doesn’t entitle him to be a dickhead.

Why should he be resentful about sharing responsibility for bills with his wife who works full time and ends up does most of the grunt work in the home?

I don’t bloody think so!

Regardless of his disabilities, his wife shouldn’t be left with zero spending money of her own whilst her husband is frittering it away on gadgets and gizmo’s.

I’d be much firmer with him about sharing income and responsibilities. If he’d rather live on his own and have no one to care for him, he’s going the right way to making that happen.

No , the assessment is very different.

I know. I did work and get pip

He obviously doesn't think the food he cooks is inedible which us what counts! For PIP, they just ask if he can cook simple mesls. They don't ask you if you can only do each of the above activities for one hour a day. They just want to know whether you can do them. You get points if need assistance but not for being unable to do them fir several hours. Do you seriously think that they award pip because someone can only walk the dogs for an hour?

The questions about doing something repeatedly in reasonable time etc are relevant for esa not pip.

You can work full time and get pip.

You can't afford cats and dogs, surely?

PIP also contributes to the individual's inability to earn an income and in this instance the OP's DH is also getting ESA. The fact is that he needs to contribute to the family pot which he doesn't seem to be doing. Thinking that this money should be for his sole benefit is why OPis resentful.

Isn't that what most people spend pip on? My son in law spends his on 2 family holidays to Greece each year. He sees it as extra money on top of his full time wages.

Are you sure he doesn't have a pension, most high earning jobs come with a pension that he would specifically have to opt of of - as he can no longer work if he has one he may be able to claim it early.

He should still be paying towards food, rent, bills ect - id be concerned he is hiding money from you. Have you been through all accounts?

And if he can only do one of the above activities for 1hr a day?
We already know he can’t actually cook despite attempting to. Cooking food that is inedible isn’t cooking.

Saying someone can do x, doesn’t mean they can do it more than 50% of when it’s required, safely, to a standard that is acceptable, without being in excessive pain and be able to repeat it within reasonable time.