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AIBU?

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Original poster

To tell about abuser (TW: child sex abuse)

27 replies

hursty900 · 04/09/2026 20:40

Within wider family there is a historic child sex abuse incident. Perpetrator was charged & sent to prison. Now out.. all been brushed under carpet by his nearest & dearest - apparently he’s rehabilitated!!?!? Obvs most of the rest of family have nothing to do with him. However within those that do, a new girlfriend has come onto the scene & she has a young child. Not sure if she’s been told the full story. Would you tell her??

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
throwawayimplantchat · 05/09/2026 18:22

user1492757084 · 05/09/2026 08:28

Speak to your relative in person. Advise him to inform his girlfriend.
If he will not, tell him you will ask the Police to inform her as it is very important to protect her child and that he, himself, needs to never allow children contact with perpetrator.

Edited

She needs to speak to the police directly anyway as the relative could just lie and say he will tell his girlfriend.

user1492757084 · 05/09/2026 08:28

Speak to your relative in person. Advise him to inform his girlfriend.
If he will not, tell him you will ask the Police to inform her as it is very important to protect her child and that he, himself, needs to never allow children contact with perpetrator.

Original poster
hursty900 · 05/09/2026 08:22

notanothernamesurely · 05/09/2026 07:45

He has a new girlfriend with a child OR one of the family members that still has contact with him has a new girlfriend with a child???

This - a family member who still sees him has a new girlfriend. I don’t know what his status is on the sex offenders register but have seen pics of him at family events with children there.

OP posts:
notanothernamesurely · 05/09/2026 07:45

He has a new girlfriend with a child OR one of the family members that still has contact with him has a new girlfriend with a child???

Dollymylove · 04/09/2026 23:07

Yes she absolutely needs to know

mbosnz · 04/09/2026 22:40

I would tell her like a bloody shot, unapologetically so.

user293948849167 · 04/09/2026 22:35

If you know the details of the girlfriend and her child you can do a Sarah’s law request yourself on their behalf, the police will then inform the girlfriend of any issues (which there obviously will be), so it won’t directly come from you and nobody will know you made the request

TurkishShepherd · 04/09/2026 22:35

Is it his GF or another member of the family e.g his son has a new GF with a child?

Either way, I'd find a way to let her know.

Do you have a close relationship with the family around him who are allowing this?

YankSplaining · 04/09/2026 22:34

I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I didn’t tell her.

StrugglingAlong75 · 04/09/2026 22:32

Yes

AbsintheMakesTheHeartGrowFonder · 04/09/2026 22:30

I don’t know if you necessarily have to tell his girlfriend yourself but I would definitely be contacting the police and/or social services with my concerns. It’s possible he’s violating the terms of his parole / licence, and I would assume he remains on the sex offenders’ register.

AmnesiacsDream · 04/09/2026 22:25

Yes.

HappyKatieA · 04/09/2026 22:17

Yes. No question.

whippersnapper55 · 04/09/2026 22:01

Yes I would tell her. Is he on the sex offenders register? There may be conditions such as not being allowed around young children.

NotAnotherScarf · 04/09/2026 22:01

Yep. Once a nonce always a nonce.

Case study Gary Glitter...had access to a 14 year old, allowed in her bedroom by her parents. Then it's images on line. Then the far east..

Don't let an innocent child suffer

DemBonesDemBones · 04/09/2026 22:00

Yes. Now.

EppingIsFun · 04/09/2026 21:59

Yes, 100% tell her.

cloudbabies · 04/09/2026 21:52

Tell her

MiceSpiders · 04/09/2026 21:45

You can do a right to tell (not right to know) Sarah's law check, the police would do any disclosure

G1ngerbread · 04/09/2026 21:36

It’s Sarah’s law not Clare’s

Branleuse · 04/09/2026 21:24

I would

LittleMissFooled · 04/09/2026 21:13

Absolutely. The child comes first and should be protected at all costs.

tellmesomethingtrue · 04/09/2026 20:51

Yes she needs to know for the safety of the child.

FlippyKiYayFlippyFlipper · 04/09/2026 20:51

You can apply for a Clare’s Law disclosure on her behalf.
Or contact the police force where he lives to inform them he is in a relationship and a child is involved as he may still be on the register.

Elsvieta · 04/09/2026 20:51

Yes yes yes. Immediately. Her child is in danger.