Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to keep my holiday during stepson's family crisis?

302 replies

Gish889 · 04/09/2026 19:28

DH and I share a 4 year old and he also has an older child with his ex wife who is 13, we have been together for 8 years, married for 5.

His ex had an accident a couple of weeks ago that was very serious and she has been in hospital since. We are unsure what the outcome is going to be.

It is obviously a very distressing time for DSS and for H as well.

We are doing our best to be there for DSS and he is obviously with us full time right now (and likely for a long time if not, unfortunately, forever). Obviously this change was quite sudden so we have all muddled in to work out the logistics of this change with work etc... including myself. I don't say this for a pat on the back, just to give context that I am trying to do what I can to help.

To my AIBU... I have a holiday booked with my sister, her child and our child (similar ages) in the next couple of weeks.

DH thinks I should cancel so I can be here, I would honestly still like to go.

Honestly at the moment I feel a bit like a spare part, and I don't mean for that to come across as expecting to be anything but, but I don't think there is much I can offer right now in the circumstances to warrant staying home, cancelling our holiday, losing out on the money etc ..

Holiday is only 5 days and DSS is obviously more focused on his mum and H at the minute anyway.

Am I being completely awful to still go? I think, although he won't say it out loud, H is worried about dealing with the situation alone if anything changes.

OP posts:
ToKittyornottoKitty · 04/09/2026 19:31

I wouldn’t leave my husband in this scenario when he’s asking me not to, and the teen too. That’s just not what partnership and family is about to me.

Lamelie · 04/09/2026 19:30

Where is it? If the worse happens would you be able to get back to support your DH and dss?