Should I agree to my Dad’s unreasonable demand to get the train to his birthday?

Is he expecting a few drinks though? I would not lie and get the train this time .90 is a special birthday whichever way you look at it .You can relax and have a couple of glasses of wine then

Just drive. Either lie or don't - I'd probably lie, but it's up to you - but don't start letting someone else's irrational fears dictate your behaviour, 90 years old or not.

I would drive and lie.

You might be able to get away with ‘lying by omission’ since you have agreed but might not tell him you changed your mind.

And look up train times home.

”There is a train at X O’clock’ is a true statement. You don’t have to say you are catching it.

Lie and drive.

I'd probably just do the white lie if it was logistically possible, parking a few streets away or whatever. Drive but don't announce you're going to do so.
If pressed on the day, really pressed, I'd then revert to yes I tried very hard but could not find a train timing that was ok with the work I needed to do. Otherwise wouldn't mention it at all, just turn up without the car having parked a ways away.

I’d just lie. Unless he’s expecting you to join in a big piss up.

Just agree to get the train and then drive and when you get there say the trains were too much faff
Not worth arguing over

Don't start pandering to this. My friend's dad does this and there's basically now the expectation that she will never drive specifically when coming to see him, even though it's massively inconvenient and expensive.

It's totally illogical - he's not asking you to give up driving altogether presumably, only when you come to see him - so just point out that you drive all the time and unless he wants you to stop doing that (which obviously you won't do) then he's making no sense.

I appreciate he's old, but you can't be dictated to by his irrational anxiety over something basic that you do all the time.

Drive but say you got the train. My parents are similarly bonkers, you just have to smile, nod, and lie through your teeth.

Look he is saying he will be anxious if you drive, so if you want to save him the anxiety then lie and say you got the train and drive . You may have to park a bit away

Alternatively a more adult response is to just say clearly, "I'm sorry you will be anxious dad, I am driving becaus the train will make my day very difficult to manage and that makes.me anxious . I love you and I'll be careful. Anyway .... "then change the subject

I am sure people will tell you the first is not ok, but I might do that if I knew my dad might get extreme and refuse to meet or celebrate if I drove.

I just would never allow someoneone's completely unreasonable anxiety to affect my life in this way, however old or young they are . It is just not something I would.tolerate so Iid lie if I had to though I'd avoid that if I could.

Uber … DD gets a 45 minute Uber back from her friends, costs about £50

Partner drop you off, Uber home .

now you've agreed, I wouldn't lie, but it was silly of you to agree in the first, place, particularly given it sounds like the train journey would be more potentially dangerous (let alone expensive, longer and more tiring) than driving!

Did he say what he was anxious about, exactly?

I'd ring him back and say that you've looked into the trains, you didn't realise how much more expensive they are or how late the one you would need to get arrives. At most, if you're willing, I'd say I'd only get it if he covers the difference between the petrol and fare AND pays for a taxi from the station to wherever you need to go, and back for the return journey (if nobody gives you a lift), but point out to him it will still leave you hanging around alone late at night.

If he won't agree to that, or you just don't want to take the train regardless, just say, no sorry, I'll be driving, see you at ....

I'd just drive, park around the corner, and pretend you got the train! How would you get from the train station to his house, just wondering if your dad would work out you'd lied to him!

Oh no, definitely drive

I dont even think you should lie

Has someone he loves died in a car accident?

Don’t lie to him. Tell him you either drive or don’t come. He’d feel terrible if you got the train and it crashed, you never know what might happen