AIBU to keep my sister’s former dog after she moved back?

@WatchTheStormTouchDown your sister is in crisis, between a rock and a hard place and you let your teen have a go at her about a dog? You all have got what you wanted, so why the parting shot? Do you think it's easy to end a marriage, when it's the place you live in that's the issue, not the marriage? Your teenager was way out of line.

@WatchTheStormTouchDown your sister is in crisis, between a rock and a hard place and you let your teen have a go at her about a dog? You all have got what you wanted, so why the parting shot? Do you think it's easy to end a marriage, when it's the place you live in that's the issue, not the marriage? Your teenager was way out of line.

@WatchTheStormTouchDown your sister is in crisis, between a rock and a hard place and you let your teen have a go at her about a dog? You all have got what you wanted, so why the parting shot? Do you think it's easy to end a marriage, when it's the place you live in that's the issue, not the marriage? Your teenager was way out of line.

Yeh, not sure you seem the kindest to your poor neice's/nephew's who've been dragged across the world by their parents and now dragged back by one and oh yeh, they are separating and may divorce. Dad's abroad so they wont get to see him which is crap. Maybe show some compassion to them who had no choice and give the dog back? Or help them get a new one? I'm guessing your family life is abit more stable compared to their cousins and the lesson learned is don't get roped into helping your sis out with the first dog again. It might teach your kids that sometimes we do kind things for other people, especially when they are having a shit time.

Yeh, not sure you seem the kindest to your poor neice's/nephew's who've been dragged across the world by their parents and now dragged back by one and oh yeh, they are separating and may divorce. Dad's abroad so they wont get to see him which is crap. Maybe show some compassion to them who had no choice and give the dog back? Or help them get a new one? I'm guessing your family life is abit more stable compared to their cousins and the lesson learned is don't get roped into helping your sis out with the first dog again. It might teach your kids that sometimes we do kind things for other people, especially when they are having a shit time.

He has seen them 3 times. The first time he was a little excited for a minute and then went back to lie on the sofa with our other dog. The second time he stayed in the garden and wouldn’t go to her when she called him as he was playing with my son and other dog. The third time she tried to take him on a walk and he wouldn’t leave the house without my husband. 😞

If he had seemed to want to be with them, we would have been more likely to think more about it but he didn’t.

Oh so first you were dragging her for asking for the dog, now you are dragging her for saying you can keep him?.
Who needs enemies eh?

Oh so first you were dragging her for asking for the dog, now you are dragging her for saying you can keep him?.
Who needs enemies eh?

We have had a terrible day with every emotion possible but ultimately my sister is going back to her husband and has booked the flights. Even my parents have given up and despair that after all the trouble, she is going back to place we were told by her that she would never be happy. It is her choice though.

She has barely interacted with the dog. The children have played with him 10 minutes but gone back to their toys. Apparently they want a hamster.

My teen daughter is pissed at the whole situation so actually said to my sister ‘what about the dog, you wanted him back’. My sister said ‘I’ve decided you can keep him’. My daughter told her she is thoughtless, irresponsible and selfish. I did step in and tell her to leave it but after everything, I can’t disagree.

My husband is driving them back now as I couldn’t face it. She has caused us so much stress and is now acting like it’s all sorted. My niece and nephew seem ok. When she told them they were going back to live with daddy, the oldest one was clearly confused and said he thought they always were. I feel so sorry for them but they’re not my children and I can’t do anything.

Our dog will never be going back to them and I am stepping back from her. I’m completely drained from the last couple of months. Both dogs are cuddled up together sleeping.

This is what OP said:

One of the other options they were considering for him when they moved was some sort of a dog share among 3 sets of friends where one set had him for 2 weeks and then he would go to the next lot of friends. She’d didn’t do it but she did consider it, so I’m very justified in my comments about passing him around like a toy

Shes done nothing but criticise and judge her sister , accusing her of being awful to her dog and a bad mother.

We have had a terrible day with every emotion possible but ultimately my sister is going back to her husband and has booked the flights. Even my parents have given up and despair that after all the trouble, she is going back to place we were told by her that she would never be happy. It is her choice though.

She has barely interacted with the dog. The children have played with him 10 minutes but gone back to their toys. Apparently they want a hamster.

My teen daughter is pissed at the whole situation so actually said to my sister ‘what about the dog, you wanted him back’. My sister said ‘I’ve decided you can keep him’. My daughter told her she is thoughtless, irresponsible and selfish. I did step in and tell her to leave it but after everything, I can’t disagree.

My husband is driving them back now as I couldn’t face it. She has caused us so much stress and is now acting like it’s all sorted. My niece and nephew seem ok. When she told them they were going back to live with daddy, the oldest one was clearly confused and said he thought they always were. I feel so sorry for them but they’re not my children and I can’t do anything.

Our dog will never be going back to them and I am stepping back from her. I’m completely drained from the last couple of months. Both dogs are cuddled up together sleeping.

YABU. They didn't want to give him up, you made them, and now they're desperate to have him back and you're thinking of you not the dog. Of course he will be more bonded yo them than you. Sorry but he will be. You say he isn't a toy to be passed around but that's not what's happening is it, his family who brought him up and loved him want him to come home, having never really wanted to lose him in the first place. His family who are grieving the breakup of a family. In mumsnet lingo, give your head a wobble.

She sounds very supportive of her sister?

I genuinely for the life of me cannot see how people have got that from this thread.

Agree with this.

And if OP actually cared about her sister she absolutely would not be outing the state of her MH on the internet where it’s likely incredibly obvious to anyone who knows the family. People can spin OP as caring if they like, but caring relatives don’t air their siblings MH laundry to MN.

I’m not sure what your comment has to do with OP outing her sisters MH struggles to the internet? Or was it a dig at me? If so I stand by my first post on this thread which was based off the information provided on the OP and not the subsequent long, outing and really inappropriate follow up.

Some people would probably like it deleted because even after OP made it very clear that she knew her sister wasn’t coping and it wasn’t in the best interests of the dog to be returned, they continued to insist the dog be returned. They now realise they were wrong and that they have made tits of themselves and would have put the dog at risk of further disruption, which 2/3 of us could see.

This. Abominably selfish of you OP

Yeah, she has done nothing for her sister, absolutely nothing, not a thing. 🙃

is that really what you believe? Is that how you would react if a sibling wrote something like that about you? "Oh it's out of context"?