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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to keep my sister’s former dog after she moved back?

989 replies

WatchTheStormTouchDown · 04/09/2026 08:58

I’ve name changed as this is a very outing situation. I wasn’t sure whether to post in the dog house but opted for here.

My sister moved abroad 7 months ago due to her husband’s work. They were originally moving for 3 years but my sister didn’t settle there so they’ve split up and my sister has come back with her children.

When they were planning to leave, they asked if we would look after their dog temporarily for the 3 years and they would have him back when they returned. We thought it over and said we would only take the dog if it was permanent. We knew our children would get attached to the dog and didn’t want them being upset when the dog had to be returned. They looked at other options but eventually agreed, reluctantly. Microchip/ownership was changed over to us and we pay all costs.

My sister is now back much sooner than planned with her kids and they’ve asked for the dog back. He is our dog now and completely settled in with us. We would all be heartbroken to not have him.

My whole family is piling on guilt and pressure for us to give the dog back. They’re using the kids to emotionally manipulate and saying my sister has enough on her plate with the split and having her dog back would help the children settle back home. They’re also saying that as the dog has only been with us for 7 months, we should give him back as it’s not long enough for him to have settled. My niece and nephew are upset but that isn’t surprising with moving countries, being without their dad and now moving back all within a few months.

We don’t intend to give him back. He isn’t a toy to be passed around when people change their minds and plans change and he has a great life with us. If we don’t give him back, I think it will cause a permanent rift in our family. Are we being unreasonable to keep the dog because we can’t give him up? I don’t believe it’s in his best interests anyway.

OP posts:
Flamingojune · Yesterday 07:13

Theres v little empathy for someone going through such a disturbed and chaotic time in life

Original poster
WatchTheStormTouchDown · Yesterday 07:11

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I don’t care if she sees it. She needs to think about how she has impacted others. She has treated us horribly, caused upset to my children and has been rude to me, my husband and my parents. We jumped when she asked us too, supported her and has now left without so much as stripping her beds, tidying up after the kids or even saying thank you for us bringing her here when she asked. Not even a thank you to my husband when he dropped her back last night knowing he wouldn’t be home til the early hours again. She then had the cheek to ask me to take her to the airport when she flies out. She hasn’t considered our mental health and the impact of her behaviour. Everything is fine in her world now, she told me so and said everything was sorted before she left, leaving a trail of destruction behind her.

I needed an outlet and my mental health matters too. You comments have been horrible. I’m a strong, confident person with a lovely husband and friends for support, but your comments could have caused issues for some people who were vulnerable and more alone. I hope the posters you’ve attacked on the thread are ok and I hope you think more before you type in future. That goes for few others on the thread too.

I’m off to walk OUR dogs with my lovely husband and children, then have a chilled breakfast.

OP posts:
Ethelspagetti · Yesterday 07:07

After all the stress she’s put you all through, I actually think you shouldn’t pick her up nor have her stay any more in future. It’s unfair on your family to experience her whirlwind of chaos, only to leave and rejoin her husband again. Next time she phones crying to come home, tell her to sleep on it for a week. To be sure the same thing doesn’t happen again as it upset the family. That way she can make better plans with accommodation and travel that do not disrupt your family.

Woodfiresareamazing2 · Yesterday 06:59

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How is expressing concern over someone's mental health NOT very personal?!

Especially in the context of disagreeing with that person's opinion.

TheHungryHungryLandsharks · Yesterday 06:53

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PerfectPairing · Yesterday 06:47

Burnedbyquestions · Yesterday 06:45

This - your sister and her kids have been through so much turmoil not their fault. Be a good sister and aunt and give it back. Have it random weekends/ for holidays etc but it’s their dog and you should be decent and give it back

Show quote history

Read the thread. The sister doesn’t want the dog and is leaving again. What a lovely dog owner she is right? Tell the OPs sister to be a decent sister because she has treated OP like shit.

PerfectPairing · Yesterday 06:45

TheHungryHungryLandsharks · Yesterday 06:17

Just to add, most of my comments on this thread having been expressing concern over people’s mental health (including OPs sister) - really not sure why that’s so bad of me, or indeed why more people aren’t concerned more. But I shall stop trying to express concern for people’s wellbeing (including OPs sister who has a clear mental health break) as clearly people have taken offence against it for which I am deeply sorry for the offence taken- lesson learnt. 😊

Edited

Maybe you should have had a little of your ‘concern’ for OPs mental health when insinuating she doesn’t love her sister, telling her that she ‘forced’ her sister to hand over the dog and I won’t repeat your deleted comments. Maybe you should have shown a little of your ‘concern’ for OPs children who had already just lost a dog and have had a grandparent diagnosed with cancer. Maybe some concern could have been shown to OP running herself ragged to help her sister in the early hours of the morning.

All your ‘concern’ was for OPs sister who it seems isn’t interested in the dog and is leaving again. Thank goodness OP could see what was actually happening and showed real concern for her dog and her children. She also actually showed concern for her sister by listening to her problems and her crying daily and knew that it wasn’t the best thing for her to have the dog back.

You and the other people with their fake concern pretending to be kind and caring are full of crap. Your behaviour here is anything but kind.

Burnedbyquestions · Yesterday 06:45

TheHungryHungryLandsharks · 04/09/2026 09:34

In which case, you should return him. A puppy would be very different. But Poodles are incredibly sensitive and bond very closely with their family. I guarantee the second he see's them, he will forget about you.

I get it's hard for you. But it's harder for them.

Show quote history

This - your sister and her kids have been through so much turmoil not their fault. Be a good sister and aunt and give it back. Have it random weekends/ for holidays etc but it’s their dog and you should be decent and give it back

lifeisgoodrightnow · Yesterday 06:36

TheOccupier · 04/09/2026 09:56

Massive dripfeed that you have another dog! Give him back.

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Woah absolutely not! Dogs are pack animals and he will have bonded strongly to the other dog. It makes it even clearer that the op should keep the dog. OP’s sister’s family already list and grieved the dog ( presumably) when they went abroad.

TheHungryHungryLandsharks · Yesterday 06:17

Just to add, most of my comments on this thread having been expressing concern over people’s mental health (including OPs sister) - really not sure why that’s so bad of me, or indeed why more people aren’t concerned more. But I shall stop trying to express concern for people’s wellbeing (including OPs sister who has a clear mental health break) as clearly people have taken offence against it for which I am deeply sorry for the offence taken- lesson learnt. 😊

TheHungryHungryLandsharks · Yesterday 06:06

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PerfectPairing · Yesterday 01:48

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What a lot of nonsense. OP has acted responsibly throughout her sisters chopping and changing. She has put the dog and her children first, cared for her sister and is now going to take some time away from a family who have acted badly. She seems calm, if a little worn down by it all, and has dealt with the goady posters here well.

PetStuff · Yesterday 00:57

InYourFunnyYellowShoes · Yesterday 00:49

What a load of patronising shite. I think it’s you that may need to ‘talk to someone’, not OP, if those are the conclusions you have come to. 😬 Or maybe there is some other explanation…

OP has said she’s ignoring certain sorts posters, so hopefully you’re one on them.

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Agree. Some people are trying to goad the OP.

Ignore them OP as much as they are desperate to ‘enrage you’. 🤪

Givemeabreakdagdammit · Yesterday 00:56

My dog loves my parents and sister, is totally comfortable with them but I can guarantee that if I returned after any amount of time he would run to me and smother me in love. The dog appears to have chosen you OP and although I do feel for your sister, I don't think you should give the dog back.

I did think YAB a bit U at first but after reading about the reunion, the dog doesn't seem fussed so I think that was the decider for me.

SouthLondonMum22 · Yesterday 00:51

InYourFunnyYellowShoes · Yesterday 00:49

What a load of patronising shite. I think it’s you that may need to ‘talk to someone’, not OP, if those are the conclusions you have come to. 😬 Or maybe there is some other explanation…

OP has said she’s ignoring certain sorts posters, so hopefully you’re one on them.

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I was just about to say the same thing.

InYourFunnyYellowShoes · Yesterday 00:49

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What a load of patronising shite. I think it’s you that may need to ‘talk to someone’, not OP, if those are the conclusions you have come to. 😬 Or maybe there is some other explanation…

OP has said she’s ignoring certain sorts posters, so hopefully you’re one on them.

Ilovelurchers · Yesterday 00:40

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BigAgeGapIck · 05/09/2026 23:43

InYourFunnyYellowShoes · 05/09/2026 23:27

Your daughter sounds great. I understand why you stepped in as you just wanted rid of your sister, but well done to your daughter for saying what most people would be thinking. Your sister has been incredibly selfish throughout.

For the children’s sake, I hope it works out this time. If it doesn’t, the dog stays with you and there is no conversation to even be had about that from now on.

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Also this.

Lacksie · 05/09/2026 23:39

ThreadGuardDog · 05/09/2026 23:11

If we’re going to engage sensibly with any OP then we have to trust that they’re telling the truth. I can’t see anything in any of OP’s posts that make me disbelieve her. Nobody is eviscerating her sisters’ character - but simply calling out self centred behaviour and appalling lack of care for her family.

Edited
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There are no facts sufficient to form a conclusion that OP's sister is a terrible mother.

Also i have a different approach to you- i never take posts at face value, it's foolish. Everyone tells a partial story, you have to read between the lines and understand what people's posting suggests about their character and how reliable they are as a narrator, not just assume everything they say is 100% of the story- that will never be the case.

InYourFunnyYellowShoes · 05/09/2026 23:37

Lacksie · 05/09/2026 23:35

Because I quoted the wrong post.you clearly have a lot of time on your hands 😅

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Well that’s ironic. 😅

Lacksie · 05/09/2026 23:35

PinkyFlamingo · 05/09/2026 23:19

Why did you quote this and type agree before deciding to delete this...as seen in the edit history.

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Because I quoted the wrong post.you clearly have a lot of time on your hands 😅

BigAgeGapIck · 05/09/2026 23:34

WatchTheStormTouchDown · 05/09/2026 22:16

My husband has said enough is enough and I’m in agreement with him. Even my parents have said she has behaved appallingly. They have apologised to me for their behaviour in pressuring and guilting us and admit we had better judgement of the situation than they did. I’ve told them we are having a break from all of them.

Glad they apologised!

A break seems like a good idea!

You really were the only one grounded by the sounds of it.

InYourFunnyYellowShoes · 05/09/2026 23:27

WatchTheStormTouchDown · 05/09/2026 22:09

I said I stepped in and told my daughter to leave it.

My daughter has had to deal with stress caused by my sister and is allowed an opinion when it involves her dog though and her life has been impacted. It is my daughter’s home and my sister has asked to be brought here. My daughter missed a night out when we went and collected my sister as she was needed to look after her younger siblings. She also missed out on a day out with me today that we had planned for weeks. Her life has been impacted and she is annoyed that our family has bent over backwards to support her and all she has seen my sister be is rude to me, my husband, my mum and dad today. My daughter was annoyed that my sister caused a big fuss about having the dog back and then now doesn’t give a shit about the dog and is off again. She is annoyed that my sister seems to have given no thought as to how stressful this has been for anyone else, her young cousins and us. She saw my sister demand rather than ask that she was taken back home tonight. By the time my sister left, it was like everything was sorted for her and she didn’t give a shit about the stress she had put anyone else through. My daughter has helped strip their beds and wash the bedding and tidy up the mess left by my sister and the kids as she has just breezed out now all is sorted for her.

My teen was spot on. I stepped in because I didn’t want another row. She has booked her flights, had made her decision, upset my parents, fucked everyone around, decided she was now ok and fuck everyone else and the dog. I stepped in because I just wanted her to leave by that point, not because my daughter was wrong. Don’t dare come for my daughter.

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Your daughter sounds great. I understand why you stepped in as you just wanted rid of your sister, but well done to your daughter for saying what most people would be thinking. Your sister has been incredibly selfish throughout.

For the children’s sake, I hope it works out this time. If it doesn’t, the dog stays with you and there is no conversation to even be had about that from now on.

BigAgeGapIck · 05/09/2026 23:26

raspberrychocolatecake · 05/09/2026 20:40

I'm sorry you've been put through this stress @WatchTheStormTouchDown , and I feel so sorry for your sister's children, they don't deserve this chaos, they need stability, poor little mites.

It's admirable that you did what was in the dog's best interest, despite being put under pressure from close family. You deserve to have him and he's very lucky to have you.

@WatchTheStormTouchDown

This.

What a stressful drama!

Well done on holding onto your integrity, OP.

Hopefully you can all rest up a bit now.

PinkyFlamingo · 05/09/2026 23:19

Lacksie · 05/09/2026 22:05

.

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Why did you quote this and type agree before deciding to delete this...as seen in the edit history.