AIBU to keep my sister’s former dog after she moved back?

Well how do you see family dynamics going forward if you don't give the dog back? It's going to be incredibly awkward and I don't think your sister or niece and nephew will forgive you.

I totally understand why you would want to keep him and he is yours legally but for the sake of family piece I think I would give him back. Totally horrible situation with no winners but be the bigger person and if she is now single she may realise that she can't actually keep the dog

OP I think anyone reasonable looking at the full circumstances, including your updates, would conclude that the dog is obviously better off with you.

I get that your sister and her kids have had a rough time, but this is surely about what is in the dog's best interests? Animals don't exist for the convenience of humans. I actually think your sister is being selfish and bang out of order in asking you to return him to her, especially as the dog himself appears to have moved on emotionally. You are doing the right thing by the dog and to me that's what's most important

You should give him back.

Firstly, for the dog - he’ll be more closely bonded to your sister and kids having been with them 3.5 years from a puppy.

Secondly, for your sister and kids - they’ve been through a lot and lost their husband/dad. Give them their dog back!

She actually would have done this????? FFS KEEP THE DOG

The dog has made its feelings clear. They can get a new dog. You might end up with that one too

Based solely on your comment about where he seems to be happier , I’d keep him with you.
If you were unsure about which environment he prefers or he had reacted differently to your sister , I might say differently.
it’s a really difficult situation , I see both sides but I think the dog gets to decide !

I have done all this including returning early and having to put the dog in quarantine. I still say that the OP should keep the dog. Her sister agreed to the terms and its not like the dog hasn't settled or is having an awful life. I suspect that the sister is having a bit of a knee jerk reaction to the family break up and it will add to her her responsibilities in a way that will not benefit her life or the dog's.

She should get a smaller poodle that better suits her new life.

She considered it but ultimately didn’t go ahead with it. It doesn’t fit with your view that she wants to pass her dog round like a toy - people consider many things in life. You really don’t like your sister, do you?

Don't give the dog back, @WatchTheStormTouchDown. He sounds so very happy and settled and not only could it cause distress to the dog, but also to your other dog and children. I totally agree with you 100%. Yes it is sad that your sister's plans did not go as she expected, but that's not your fault, or the dog's fault. He is yours now if she transferred ownership etc. I'm sure Judge Judy would back you up here also 😉

In theory I would want to give the dog back for the kids sake - they’ve had to get rid of their beloved dog, leave their school, leave their home, leave their country, move to a completely new home, country and school and now their mum and dad have separated and they’ve had to do all move back - all within a few months.

That’s incredibly difficult for anyone to cope with and I completely understand why your sister has focused on telling them that at least they’ll get their dog back.

However it sounds as though your sister will find it challenging to have the dog back and she’s going to make her life harder because she wants her kids to be happy.

How far away do you live?
Could you speak to her and say how she’s going to make more work for herself etc.
I would encourage her to have the kids take the dog back to theirs on a regular basis and walk it and play with it etc but not have it permanently.

That way you pay for everything, have none of the worry and they get all the fun.

I don’t think that’s true. We’ve lived all over. People can and do bring dogs. They should have thought about this before they made the call to abandon the dog in the first place.

But you would say that. You’re biased and seemingly intent on keeping it. I’d be very surprised if a dog wouldn’t recognise your sister as its primary owner with them having had it since puppy, and you only since February. As much as you’ll deny it.

I think you should keep the dog. Whilst the dog was still very young your sister chose a life that was incompatible with owning a dog. So it seems likely that should the dog be returned to your sister, it will happen again. And as you would be less inclined to agree to looking after the dog next time, it may be passed to anyone it can be palmed off on. If you can commit to it properly for it's lifetime you should keep the dog settled with you.

I've read all your posts @WatchTheStormTouchDown , no contest, the dog is your dog. Honestly I can't think why anyone would, if they're looking at the dog's best interests, disagree.
Please keep ddog. And please consider posting a wee pic of ddog. 😂

I am nice and I would never treat my DSis the way you're treating yours. But fine, you've clearly made your decision and were hoping that this thread would be a parade of people telling you to keep the dog, which you'd already decided to do, so you could pat yourself smugly on the back. So great, you crack on, but accept that you're choosing this dog over your DSis and that she and the wider family aren't going to forget that easily.

Agree

FFS, it’s her dog. Her kids have only been without it 7 months.

Your sister is going through an international move and a divorce, and you can’t give her back her dog?

YABU and a bad sister. Things change, your kids will understand, just like hers had to when they left.

Like lots of these, this isn't really about the dog.

Like I said, it depends if the OP cares more about the dog or her sister. The dog lived with her sister perfectly happily for years so I don't think it is a major problem to send it back. Her sister and her children have gone through a move and a marriage break up. It could be seen as a little heartless to keep the dog.

She probably considered it when she was told by you that you’d only look after her dog if it was permanent. Clearly she was trying avoid that. Take responsibility for your own part in this OP.

Sorry I missed that one. I think let the dog decide - and he appears to have chosen you!