AIBU to keep my sister’s former dog after she moved back?

The dog is clearly better with OP.

Why do you want the dog to go back and be alone when the OPs sister is at work? The dog will be lonely.

Madness and bloody cruel.

Yanbu at all but you have a fight on your hands

We’re only hearing one side but it sounds like the sister has a had a tough time of it and I suspect her ex wasn’t the kindest

the thread just as op feeling smug she’s the better mother, dog owner and wife

it’s not really about the dog

YANBU.

The dog would be going to a home with a much worse quality of life being left alone. He’d be very sad after having so much company from you and another dog.

Hopefully your sister will see that she isn’t making a decision that is right for the dog by trying to get him back. She is probably just trying to make her kids happy after everything, but I agree, this is only going to make things worse for everyone and the dog.

She is going to be working and looking after children. The dog will be alone A LOT of the time. She needs to see sense.

I’m wrong and all your family are wrong? I don’t doubt you care for the dog and the dog cares about you and your family, but it will also reintegrate with its actual family. You need to give it a chance to work out what’s happening, and help it transition back to its family.

If you have genuine concerns about what care the dog will receive at your sister’s then it’s perfectly reasonable to voice those and ask questions about dog walkers, etc, to put your mind at rest. You and your husband wfh, you sound like you have a nice house and garden. I’m sure that on paper your house/financial situation is better than many dog owners’, but that doesn’t mean that those people don’t love their dogs or don’t care for them - nor that the dogs don’t love their families.

I would return him. Those poor kids have been through enough

Yes I have but not being a dog expert I don't know whether that means much. I don't think I'm saying anything particularly controversial, other than think carefully about this before deciding but it sounds like she has already decided which is absolutely fair enough since it is her situation, not mine.

Try to be calm, tell her you only took the dog on the understanding it was permanent, the fact she has come back unexpectedly is irrelevant.

It hasn’t really come across like that though, has it.

OP has just stamped her feet and said ‘mine’ and has zero intention of giving the dog back.

Also, dogs don’t need company 24/7, they can be left on their own for some periods of time. I like dogs but people taking them everywhere and making sure they are never alone has just generated a whole host of needy clingy animals with behaviour issues.

We only have the OPs word that the dog will be left and let’s face it, she is so set on keeping said dog that she is not going to be painting the sister in a good light is she?

Dogs will adapt to a new home, what do you think rescue dogs do when they get rehomed after being with an owner for some years ?!

In these circumstances, it wouldn't happen. We do our due diligence and there's no contact between the person who gives up the dog and the person who takes the dog - exactly to prevent this sort of unfortunate situation happening. When you relinquish a dog it should be for life and you should never see it again (because it's incredibly traumatic on the dog).

But OP and her sister massively screwed the literal and figurative pooch. No one who knows anything about re-homing dogs could have thought this was ever going to be a good idea - OPs sister was always going to return and almost certainly want the dog back, be that in three years or as it turned out 7 months.

The best thing for the dog would have been to re-home through the Poodle Network or another breed specific rescue. That neither OP nor her sister thought to do that speaks volumes about them as owners and their ability to understand the basics about dogs - OPs sister turning up is unfair on the dog, no matter how much OP thinks the dog doesn't care.

The fact is, a bit of empathy and compassion for OPs sister would go a long way here. OP doesn't need the dog - she has one - and if the dog managed before home alone all day, it's not ideal, but it would manage. OP has already claimed that in 7 months the dog has moved on, so by that logic it could move on again from OP easily (right? Although tbh I disbelieve the dog is as settled as OP claims).

And the fact is that, realistically, unless OP has all the paperwork signed and it's all been properly done...she has no leg to stand on. And even if she does, she's going to burn all her bridges with her family for the forseeable.

@ThreadGuardDog also tagging you but I can see you have a bit of an axe to grind and just want to have a go at everyone who has a different opinion to you...

I think the op is wrong i dont care what others think

This. OP’s sister has essentially treated her as an unpaid dog sitter for seven months.

People post on here to gauge opinion.

As 2/3 are on OPs side and many of the posters who seem against her don’t seem to have read the thread and realise the dog would be sent back to be alone for a lot of time (at least I hope they haven’t read the thread, because if they actually think that’s ok, they’re very cruel) I think OP can know she is doing the right thing.

Given that the dog is happy, has bonded with the family’s other dog and has human company all day, why do you think it’s unreasonable not to want to return it into an environment where it will spend most of it’s day alone while OP’s sister works ?

My friend had to leave her dog in the U.K. with her grandparents as her family were moving abroad for a set period. They didn’t abandon the dog. They thought it best for the dog to stay in the U.K. and avoid the stress of transportation to the new country.

The sister didn’t decide to ‘give away’ her dog. She asked for it to be cared for until her return, but was forced to sign over ownership.

Ah, so no single parents should ever have dogs? Right. Perhaps we could extend that to children? I mean, they’re obviously morally inferior not having a spouse.

I don’t doubt the OP has looked after this dog well, but it’s cruel not to give it back IMO. There’s nothing to suggest the sister is going to mistreat the dog or doesn’t care about it.

Of course YANBU.

With you he has humans around constantly and another doggo. Sending him back to be alone all day would be cruel. She isn’t going to have time for him.

Keep the doggo! It sounds like he has the perfect life!

I think the dog has completely settled with the OP and it would harm the dog to move it again, how is it going to be secure in its attachment with them?

Yes ip you made your decision so why do you need our permission?

I am not the OP

Nope dog is settled, registered,well cared for and a family dog with OP

Why cant the sister get a new puppy / dog for her children now they are back ? they will still be able to see OP dog.
Shes the one that left her dog regardless of reasons.

Then what’s the point of this thread?! You won’t give the dog back so that’s the end of it isn’t it?

As you have said, it will clearly cause a rift between your whole family but you don’t care.

So just carry on as you are.

Why have you directed this comment at this poster ? They are not the OP.

This post nails it. She can cheer her children up with a new puppy. You keep your dog.

On the contrary I think it must be very hard for OP to cope with a sister who is so self centred she can’t even stop to think about the effect on the poor dog, who has no choice. Moving him from a family environment where he’s bonded with another dog, only to leave him alone for the most of the day while you work isn’t in the best interests of the dog. At all.

Why did you put up a post in AIBU when you don't really want anyone's opinion other than those who agree with you