AIBU to keep my sister’s former dog after she moved back?

OP didn’t ask whether she should keep the dog. She had already made that decision and was asking if it was unreasonable. So far, beyond knee jerk reactions, huge reaches for justification of an indefensible argument, misreading of OP’s posts resulting in horrible and untrue accusations of her treatment of her sister, and emotional blackmail about Dsis’ children, I haven’t seen one solid, fact based argument for giving the dog back.

Happy to take the children away from thier father but ohhhh they MUST have the dog.
I wouldnt give the dog back, reap what you sew and all that.

I don’t know why you posted here. You clearly feel you’re being entirely reasonable in keeping the dog and dismiss all the arguments PPs are posting. If that’s what you firmly believe, you don’t need or want our views. I’m sorry for your sister whose marriage has broken down and her life has changed and now she can’t even have her dog back.

Why ? Why do the children need the dog when they haven’t seen it for seven months ? Why does their need trump that of OP’s children who have lived with the dog for that time under the impression that it’s their dog ?

It is their dog, they dont need another. Her sister could have taken the dog with her if the kids missed him that much but didn't. Pretty sure her kids would have been upset at that decision too.

Which is not the same as OP’s situation because Dsis hasn’t contributed anything to the dogs’ upkeep during the seven months OP has had it.

Is this a tactical question on your sister's part ie. she wants the dog to argue about the costs of keeping a dog in the divorce settlement?

It doesn't make sense for her to add a dog back into a house with two ? young children and only one adult. I know dog ownership isn't logical like that. But still.

Would it help if her kids could come and see the dog sometimes?

Three weeks while someone goes into hospital is a bit different from seven months where someone has left the country. OP didn’t hide anything - Dsis consented to the dog being re-registered. And if it went to court I think the fact that Dsis didn’t contribute a brass farthing to the dogs’ upkeep or vet bills for that seven months would go a long way to proving OP’s case.

What if it doesn't? So it will be happy will it being used to having company (humans and a dog) every day to being left alone 3 days a week plus the evenings/afternoons when the children do their hobbies?

What's 7 months in dog years? 4 years ...

Of course keep the dog you took permanent ownership of. Also given your sister's plan to hardly be at home due to work, kids commitments etc it would be cruel to return the dog to a house that will be mostly empty.j

My cousin did exactly this and left their dog with another cousin but sent regular payments to cover the dog’s food and vet bills. When they came back, after two years, they asked for the dog to be returned to them, and the cousin who was looking after the dog refused. They haven’t spoken since (and it’s years ago).

For the non dog people here, it's really obvious when dogs are attached to people. My dogs love visitors etc but even my mum (who they adore) says they never stop watching me. If they're out playing they constantly check in with me, even if it's just a fly by. Believe me, when a dog is bonded to people it sticks out like the proverbial.

The fact the dog was non plussed about the sister's family when they visited would have sealed the decision for me. If it had been obviously happy to see them and tried to leave with them, I'm sure @WatchTheStormTouchDown would have reconsidered.

Give the dog back. Her children need it.

I think I'd discuss "shared custody" in this situation, i.e., the dog stays with them sometimes for long weekends and during the school holidays. Broach it in terms of your sister rebuilding her life and getting reestablished so surely sharing his care would make things easier for her.

Our dog stays at our dogsitters' house when we go on holiday and he loves it, it's like his own holiday.

Keep him

Tell your sister that sorry but he's got an attachment now to your other dog and you are putting his needs first and if she loved him she would agree that he's got a better standard of care now and company.
Your other dog will lose his friend if he goes back.
If she wants a new start then she should get a new dog. Not uproot her original dog just to be left alone at home.
You are not in the wrong in my opinion

I'd just say after the death of your other dog, your dog has bonded with this one and it seems to be mutual.

I understand your sister wanting the dog back. But if it had been rehomed elsewhere, it's unlikely that would happen. You were very clear you'd only take the dog if it was permanent. It's going to make for difficult relations between you. You'll forever be thought of as the dog stealer.

Why didn’t your sisters family take the dog with them when they went away- pet passports etc

this is such a difficult situation OP and can see why you and your children feel the dog is yours (and sounds like legally is!)
I don’t think you’re being unreasonable.
but as a sister myself, I think I would give the dog back.
I am a dog lover but not dog obsessed (and don’t have a dog) and would choose my relationship with my sister over a dog.
it does sound like your sister was never keen on saying the dog was 100% yours to begin with but felt like she had no other option at the time.
I’ve read your comments about the dog not being fussed when they’ve seen your sister and that is really sad.
the dog is legally (and emotionally) yours so you can keep the dog but as I said, after only 7 months of bonding, I would give the dog back to ensure my relationship with my family and my sister is preserved.
I hope you come to a decision soon

So you think the dog that is settled and happy and has another dog to play with should go back to the owner that gave up the dog and is going to be at work 3 days a week.

Also she thought it would be ok for 3 people to dog share!! That is disgusting. Maybe you didn't read that selfish sister also ignored an eye problem that the dog had

Sounds like you're doing what's best for the dog, OP.

Hopefully, your Sister will accept the help that you're offering.

Not a saint but a caring dog owner. She is giving the dog a much better and happier life than selfish sister did or can

Well if you would be devastated I assume you would not be going abroad and leaving your dog behind in the first place.

Me and DH moved abroad and took our dog and 6 cats with us. No way on earth would we not have.

Many years before that DH was offered a brilliant job abroad. We had a dog and we decided he would not be happy there so we did not go.

Well if you had read ALL of OP's posts you will see he is NOT more closely bonded with the sister.

She decided not to take the dog with them. She decided it was a good idea to move abroad without the dog. She also thought about letting 3 people dog share him! That, I think, is disgusting and no true dog lover would do that.

Also she works 3 days a week whereas OP works at home. So no contest

Your sister has lost her marriage and her kids have lost regular contact with their dad. It seems very cold to not consider this at all in your desire to keep the dog. He will
not have forgotten them in 7 months and he will settle back with them fine. You should give them their dog back and get your own kids a puppy.

From your posts it seems likely that returning the dog to your sister won't work and she will need to have it rehomed again.

I think your sister needs to create a settled home environment before she takes on further responsibilities. A dog is a financial and time intensive family addition and your poodle deserves to be treated with respect and care.