AIBU to feel upset and insulted? What should I have said?

People have no right to comment on other’s bodies regardless of the potential cause.

I don't think there's anything wrong with a sweary response - he deserves it! I don't care if he judges me for it.

I'd just look at him and say "what the f* is wrong with you? Why are you so weird?" and walk away.

He doesn't deserve an explanation or your humour or your politeness.

'Do you practice at being rude or does it come naturally ' is a good come back

I’m so sorry you’ve had to put up with some twat hurting you like this.

I’ve a few medical issues and the steroids blow me up in size. I was able to switch meds for a while but then became really unwell and lost a drastic amount of weight quite quickly. I was in hospital for weeks. I didn’t think I’d make it out!. And my bloody Sil when she saw me that Christmas as I was recovering told me I’d really let myself go.

the inhale from everyone else in the room was enough for her to try and backtrack but I just simple said “that was very cruel and unnecessary “ . And left her to sit with that.

best of luck op I hope you’re ok today x

"I don't understand, what do you mean?"

I find it helpful to pretend you don't understand and see if he's willing to spell out that he can only focus on your weight. It makes him look like a massive arsehole.

Like this 👍🏻

This makes me so furious to read. Honestly I can’t believe people thinking it’s appropriate to comment on anyone’s bodies, even when they think they’re being positive. I have a health issue where I’ve been losing a bit of weight which has been very stressful. If one more person comes up and tells me how fantastic and skinny I’m looking while I’m so full of worry I’m going to punch them.

Sorrh this happened OP. Glad you’ve got a DP who’s on your side x

I wouldn't have slapped him but Id definitely have said Ive been very unwell and am on lifelong steroids but thanks for trying to make me feel even worse.
Im sorry you felt you had to leave the party OP. They sound a horrible group of people.

"I see you are still a nasty dickhead"

I would’ve told him, I can always lose weight but you’ll always be a rude arsehole.

YANBU OP.

Maybe substitute "matured"

I've PMed you @Disappointedandunamused I hope you don't mind.

no that is horrible, really, really nasty. Top cunts kind of talk.

I find that people like this enjoy comebacks. The wittier, the more excited the person becomes. They see it as a challenge, their eyes light up. Can you tell I've dealt with these people for almost a lifetime??

I've had the "you've packed on the timber!" Recently I've had "you're too skinny!" Also, "You look like death warmed up!" (yes, because I have chronic anaemia) and everything in between. I used to try for witty comebacks and am pretty good at them. Then I went the other way and started to get too angry and rattled.

My partner has Crohns and is very skinny because of it. A certain steroid he used to take made his face puff out, and then people would say "see? You CAN put on weight! It was all in your head!" (no he hadn't put on weight, he literally can't. It was the steroids). Maddening.

I honestly wouldn't engage. People like him would only enjoy it. Anyone nasty enough to say this sort of thing will just enjoy a verbal spar. Don't bother.

The pressure to be thin is so ingrained in people it's unbelievable, they don't even think about what's going on behind the weight gain only that it's something to comment on. I was out with a group a couple of years ago and I can't tolerate gluten so when I ordered woman next to me comments oh so many are gluten free now ,as in it's such a fad , she asked how long I had been when I said about 18 years she kept digging why, I said well the diarrhoea mostly , after that she stopped .

What a horrible man / women

I've been really ill- and wait for the silence, then walk away.

This actually happened to me at a party many years ago, said by a guy I hadn't seen in years. I replied very sarcastically, yes, but fortunately I am not sensitive about it! About ten minutes later, his 80 year old mother came running over, someone had told her what he had said. She immediately berated him, clipped him around the ear and finished with the wonderful line, 'no wonder you are single!'

No a witty reply is not the way to go as it's only stepping into the ring with him. You want to ask why on earth he thought it was a good ring to step into.

What an unbelievable nasty thing to say.
Why do you think you can pass remark on my appearance like that?
What did you have to gain by being so cruel?
Do you think that was a reasonable way to treat someone?

You can use these afterwards too in the past tense.

I think you did the right thing for what it's worth. If you'd lost your temper and insulted him you'd have to deal with that in your head too.

I'm so sorry about your health battles. I gained five stone so quickly when I was ill. People didn't recognise me. I'm finally back to my previous size and feeling great. When flashback photos come up on my phone I feel nothing but tenderness and compassion for the woman feeling uncomfortable, ill and trying her best. Please prioritise having these feelings towards yourself too.

The guy making the comments lacks manners.

My DH always says men like this are not gentlemen. That's a cutting response ' ah always the gentleman Dave'.

I was a size 22/24 but I'm tall so I got away with it to a certain extent. I put on weight through steroids then misery.
I didn't take WLJ and people don't recognize me now. It's interesting to watch them open and close their mouths!

I can't process bread but I can do a bit of sourdough. Warburton's was ok for me.

I take filgotinib for RA, I believe they are using it on Crohn's instead of steroids. Twelve weeks in its amazing. Ask your consultant.

I would have reacted in the same way as you did, whilst wishing I’d had the nerve to call him out loudly for his ignorance and stupidity. Don’t take it to heart, the man’s an insufferable cunt and I’m pretty sure most people realise that.

Ooh I love this. Need to try and remember that

I know you might not want to share it, but I'd have reeled off my medical issues exactly as you started your post and stared him straight in the face while doing it.

I might, depending how he took it, have finished with "What's your excuse for being such an insensitive jerk?"

I agree with this

Wirtty comebacks make it into a joke / banter

Better to show that his comments were rude

Another approach would be "ouch. That stings" and walk away

Im v glad yiur husband was supportive

"Me? You want to look in the mirror, Dave!"