AIBU to feel resentful about repeated maternity leave cover at work

Who do you actually think you are? Busy body? It has nothing to do with you. Just like its got nothing to do with anyone else that you don't want children. Cant believe another woman is talking about women like this.

This has been my experience at a university tbf.
We always try to factor in a handover. Maybe not a month but typically a week or so.

👏🏼👏🏼

I suspect this is the exception, not the norm and only applies where there are clients who would withdraw business if not properly looked after.

It's pathetic to feel resentful of mothers taking their legal and human right to maternity leave. You should be angry at your employer for failing to fully staff the service in their absence.

Yabu but I kind of get it when your employer kinda causes the issues you’re facing. I say that as someone who worked in a team where three people went on Mat leave at the same time (or thereabouts) and temps were employed which was hard work - especially when two of those on leave came back from Mat leave pregnant again.

You are then getting remunerated for the extra hours. So what's the problem? Stop doing it and accept no bonus/smaller bonus. If anything, this is an opportunity.

It's why everyone encourages you to work hard when young and get a career going before childre . Once you have responsibilities, it becomes extremely hard to pick up extra hours, whether it's work or studying etc.

It's the reality of life.

What do you want people to do? Lock their 2 year old in a bedroom with a bottle of water and some scraps of food to keep working after 5pm?

The thing that frustrates me is those without children pick up the slack outside hours for those that cannot work due to childcare. Again that's their prerogative however I and 3 other members of my team pick up all the out of hours slack that contributes to their bonuses. Hours of it a week.

Yes, and the trend towards one individual doing the work of three employees (in my sector anyway) means that a ML cover can be the final insult. I’m SLT now, beyond childbearing years, and I’m 100% happy to hire maternity cover every time, but it’s never once been “like for like” in our highly-specialized business. I do worry about the staff picking up the slack - as a manager, it would be remiss not to.

Women aren't having babies their whole lives. Their children grow up and, as they become more self sufficient parents are able to be more flexible and help to cover when people are off sick, on holiday etc

You're unreasonable to resent the women having children rather than resenting the way in which your system deals with maternity

I agree but I am usually a doormat with a big bonus....

I think upper management appreciate it in the same way

Just stop doing it then. Extra unpaid hours clearly aren’t appreciated by management. I never get why people do so much unpaid overtime. It just makes you look like a doormat with really poor work life balance.

I don't know what to suggest as even the biggest businesses cannot afford to cover off maternity leave properly.

In fact most teams I know are not staffed well enough to allow annual leave, let alone maternity!

The thing that frustrates me is those without children pick up the slack outside hours for those that cannot work due to childcare. Again that's their prerogative however I and 3 other members of my team pick up all the out of hours slack that contributes to their bonuses. Hours of it a week.

I do it because I want a bonus and I deserve it. They don't work outside hours yet still have the same right to the perks

It is not the fault of the women going on maternity leave. You need to redirect your concerns to your line manager and/or HR if you have a grievance with the way maternity leave cover and part time working is being managed. Maybe focus your grievance on making sensible constructive suggestions as to how the cover and part-time working might be improved in manageable way

That 'management issue' probably applies to the entire public sector. Someone goes on parental leave, sick leave, career break, etc etc, their work is just given to colleagues who are expected to get on with it. No attempt is made to bring in cover, in most circumstances. It's just another vacancy that goes unfilled.

You have a management issue.

And at my job, a request for part time work is flat out rejected. It's really not a given that women go back part time and cause lots of issues. Your management is abysmal.

But let's blame women for everything, as always. Especially if they dare have children.

Men can share maternity leave too ... so your plan is highly flawed. Maybe you are in the wrong job if you feel like this about your female colleagues.

I mean, who do you want to acknowledge it? Your higher managers? Fair enough. How would society as a whole recognise it for you? What would actually make you feel seen and heard?

Yes this happens across the board in the private sector including C-suite roles. In other organisations work is reorganised and people take up roles and bring in more capacity further down the pyramid. That requires flexibility of course and often offers opportunities to staff willing to take on a different challenge.

The fact that it would take the maternity leave period to bring in a temporary member of staff is a massive failing of management in the sectors where this happens and is not the fault of women taking maternity leave.

Which is a long winded way of saying the same as the OP - for both of you the problem is poorly run organisations, not the women having children. There is no excuse for organisations operating at the scale of NHS businesses for this to be so badly managed.

I wonder if there are people out there who resent your mum for having you and inconveniencing your workplace?

I too work for the NHS and have to manage the very real service issues due to lack of resource, under resourcing, and down-banding. To focus on maternity leave suggests you may need to expand your view to the wider issues of why it’s challenging to fill these temporary vacancies.

Exactly this, yet this post illustrates perfectly how, frequently and by many, the resentment gets misplaced and women having babies are the ones that bear the brunt of the blame, which perpetuates gender disparity.

I remember being irritated by a colleague who left at five on the dot everyday when the rest of us worked until 6:30 or 7:00. But of course it wasn't her fault that's when nursery closed.

Come on, you know you're being unreasonable! It's normal to combine work and kids. If you can't cope with it maybe you should move jobs to a male dominated sector where it's less of an issue.

Women generally take off longer than men because it's biology, to simply put it. It's natural for baby to need more time with their mother. Especially if breastfeeding. I could never have gone back to work and left my baby before 9 months really. I just wouldn't have felt ready. That's not to say that my partner doesn't share the load. We are pretty equal. I now work 3 days a week, he works 5, but that's our choice. If I wanted to work more then I would. But I like working 3 days. It works for us as a family. Work is not my life, and it shouldn't be yours either. Work is just one part of what we have to do in order to have money to pay bills and enjoy life. You do realise that even if people don't have children, they can still choose to work part time? You sre getting angry at the wrong people here.

Well this just is anger inducing, and sheds a light on the issues within the NHS that us lay people don’t know about but only see the outcome when we wonder why there are no appointments or why we are waiting for hours. Absolutely shocking treatment of staff to expect everyone to just pick up the gaps.