Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to tell DH his once-weekly tooth brushing is off-putting?

130 replies

SweetAudry · 03/09/2026 22:28

A few months ago DH told me he felt his teeth were worsening in both health and appearance (I had noticed this too but was too polite to tell him!) and he suggested he should maybe brush them more often.

I asked now often he currently brushed them (meaning how many times a day) and he said “probably once a week or so” 😱 I found this shocking at told him so! He said from now on he’ll do them at least once a day.

He did this for about a week and now he’s back to never doing them. I know he’s not brushed them at all this week as I moved his toothbrush and it’s still exactly where I left it. I find it really off putting.

I don’t like to embarrass people by pointing out personal things like this but once a week (if that!) is shocking isn’t it? WIBU to tell him even though he will probably be offended?

OP posts:
Princessfluffy · 04/09/2026 11:08

He’s going to lose his teeth pretty quickly if his dental hygiene is so poor. He should be flossing daily as well as brushing twice a day. This will probably cost him a fortune unless he’s happy with a set of false teeth.

ShitHoleDweller · 04/09/2026 11:12

My question would be … how often is he going to the dentist? I see my hygienist every three months (he told me off today for coming too regularly) because I’m completely hysterical about my teeth and gums. Why the hell is he being so complacent about something so detrimental to health if the teeth are rotting, incredibly expensive if teeth need work and potentially non reversible if he lapsing into periodontal disease and that can cause bone loss and extractions. Honestly I’d rather not bathe, it’s cheaper!

gannett · 04/09/2026 11:12

How on earth did you not notice this before?!

Notaboutthebass · 04/09/2026 13:57

Oh my god this is absolutely revolting, I would seriously resent him for this as he's gone back to his old ways....

His breath must be vile (and the state of his teeth and gums) and I would be telling him without a doubt.

RampantIvy · 04/09/2026 14:00

Rightsraptor · 04/09/2026 09:26

You mean he brushes his teeth while he's having a shower? I've heard of people doing that: I think it's disgusting.

I'm struggling to see what is disgusting about this TBH.

gamerchick · 04/09/2026 14:05

So what if you offend the daft twat? Who's going to suffer when he gets toothache, because it won't just be him will it? Does he even have a dentist?

Does he know not brushing before bed means all the crap on his teeth will eat at his enamel once he's asleep accelerating decay?

He's an idiot.

catinboots26 · 04/09/2026 14:08

Sometimes my brain blows on here with the low bar they will suffer. A dude who doesn’t clean his teeth???? Revolting

TipsyMoose · 04/09/2026 14:09

Dryshampoofordays · 04/09/2026 08:51

Dear god my dog has better oral hygiene than your husband

This made me laugh! My dogs have their teeth brushed daily but the DH only does once a week? In what world is this acceptable and how does it go unnoticed? I would violently retch every time the man came near me!

babyproblems · 04/09/2026 14:13

Jesus Christ

is he mentally ill?? This isn’t normal behavior

Anywherebuthere · 04/09/2026 14:23

Why would you even consider not say anything? How could you not tell before he told you? (I'm assuming you live together and there is some sort of intimacy between you.)

zingally · 04/09/2026 14:54

My dad completely neglected his teeth most of his adult life tbh. Particularly during the age of about 50-60. He'd brush them only when my mum reminded him to do so, and only then, begrudgingly.

He got away with it for years, even though he sometimes had absolutely rancid breath.

He did end up going to the dentist in the last couple of years of his life, and had to have quite a few teeth removed, including one quite near the front, which wasn't a great look.

BillieWiper · 04/09/2026 15:03

His teeth will fall out of his head!
Get him to see a dentist and a hygienist ASAP. He really needs to get into a proper daily regime of TP brush, mouthwash, floss, through electric brushing of each tooth and tongue. Twice.
Insist he does so or no physical contact can take place!

Astra53 · 04/09/2026 15:04

Dryshampoofordays · 04/09/2026 08:51

Dear god my dog has better oral hygiene than your husband

🤣

FeralWoman · 04/09/2026 15:07

Rightsraptor · 04/09/2026 09:26

You mean he brushes his teeth while he's having a shower? I've heard of people doing that: I think it's disgusting.

It’s not disgusting. What would be disgusting about it? It’s just some toothpaste and spit going down the drain, along with soap, shampoo, pubic hair, vaginal secretions, bumhole residue, etc. I’ve been brushing my teeth during a shower for over 17 years now.

@SweetAudry Tell him that he’s gross and needs to brush twice a day with fluoride toothpaste. How could you not tell your life partner that they’re getting a bit manky? Does he have an electric toothbrush? Suggest he buys one. Absolute game changer with how much cleaner his teeth will be. He needs to go get a dental check up and clean done too. When my DH’s breath got rank smelling and I was having to suppress gagging when going to kiss him, I told him. Turned out he had tonsil stones. He ended up getting his tonsils removed because they were so vile. He could taste them and he was revolted by them. He wasn’t surprised I couldn’t kiss him. He was able to keep his distance a bit from work colleagues when talking to them and use chewing gum or breath mints to try to cover the nasty smell at work. If I hadn’t told him he would have been inflicting the stench on his colleagues. That wouldn’t have been caring from me.

Muffsies · 04/09/2026 15:18

SweetAudry · 03/09/2026 22:36

Funnily enough he showers daily so I can’t understand the lack of mouth hygiene!

Some people really hate the sensation of brushing, or maybe he really hates toothpaste? Some parents just don't bother teaching their kids to brush teeth and it can be a difficult habit to start if you're not used to it.

I was taught to brush my teeth in the morning with baking soda (bicarb), we dipped our wet brushes into the powder. I now hate the taste of toothpaste it makes me gip, but i've gradually trained myself to use arm & hammer bicarb toothpase. Anything else is just too sickly. I just use chlorhexidine mouthwash before bed.

Was he taught to only brush weekly, or does he find brushing uncomfortable?

Would he consider at least using a mouthwash daily whilst he works on getting the brushing more regular?

wasdarknowblond · 04/09/2026 18:45

Yuk!! He deserves to have lots of painful and expensive dental treatment. Seriously, tooth decay can seep into the jawbone and cause considerable pain and problems - even dementia.

Hotafternoon · 04/09/2026 18:53

I worked with a young woman years ago and it was quite obvious that she didn't clean her teeth either properly or at all.

You could see a greenish tinge on her teeth when she was talking to you. It was quite off putting.

Brucebogtrotter257 · 04/09/2026 19:21

Off putting is putting it lightly. Fucking gross is more accurate.

Delatron · 04/09/2026 19:24

This is crazy - I thought everyone brushed their teeth twice a day. Why wouldn’t you?

TheBlueKoala · 04/09/2026 19:25

Once a bloody week!!!??,
I tell my dh to not even speak to me before he has brushed his teeth in the morning. How could you not have noticed? Wtf is wrong with him? If he doesn't do it for himself he could think of everyone he talks to who has to smell his shit.

momtoboys · 04/09/2026 19:29

With my right hand to the lord, I would not be able to stay with him. Just reading your post makes me queasy.

whatwouldlilacerullodo · 04/09/2026 19:30

How is it even possible? If I don't brush for a day my teeth get coarse, with a horrible texture!
Unless he eats nothing but raw fruits, his teeth must feel like greasy sandpaper 🤮

fiveyo · 04/09/2026 19:33

I’m not blaming you, obviously, but I’m curious; did you honestly not realise he was brushing them so I frequently? I find that incredible.

Bowlofcheerios · 04/09/2026 19:48

I feel sorry for his toothbrush having to put up with his rancid teeth and breath

Itsnotallaboutyoulikeyouthink · 04/09/2026 20:44

As a teenager I was obsessed with cleaning my teeth. Now in my forties I find it really difficult I don’t know why. I do it once a day but don’t really think to do it again. I do t think I like the taste of toothpaste anymore so that could be part of it. I dunno but it might not just be a case of him actively not doing it on purpose.