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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to tell DH his once-weekly tooth brushing is off-putting?

130 replies

SweetAudry · 03/09/2026 22:28

A few months ago DH told me he felt his teeth were worsening in both health and appearance (I had noticed this too but was too polite to tell him!) and he suggested he should maybe brush them more often.

I asked now often he currently brushed them (meaning how many times a day) and he said “probably once a week or so” 😱 I found this shocking at told him so! He said from now on he’ll do them at least once a day.

He did this for about a week and now he’s back to never doing them. I know he’s not brushed them at all this week as I moved his toothbrush and it’s still exactly where I left it. I find it really off putting.

I don’t like to embarrass people by pointing out personal things like this but once a week (if that!) is shocking isn’t it? WIBU to tell him even though he will probably be offended?

OP posts:
Thundertoast · 03/09/2026 22:49

Why did he say once a day when its meant to be twice, did you correct him at the time? What do you mean you were too polite, you are MARRIED?
'Hey love, i noticed you've stopped brushing your teeth, everything okay?'

Pinkflamingo10 · 03/09/2026 22:48

🤮
how do you kiss him ?!!!!

FiveShelties · 03/09/2026 22:48

What is it with all these threads about personal hygiene just recently?

Sweetbeansandmochi · 03/09/2026 22:48

I have a few ideas:

If you haven’t already get him an electric toothbrush. Mine has a timer.

Also he could brush his teeth to a song he likes - or, we used to have an app that attached to the kids electric toothbrushes that gamified tooth brushing.

He could also get booked in to see the hygienist for a proper teeth clean. That might help him reset whatever the barrier is about this.

You can get these wierd toothpaste balls called p’A’rla - which he can chew if toothbrushing is too much. It’s sort of the least someone could do.

He really needs to take this more seriously. It’s not he can’t brush his teeth. It appears he won’t. And plaque and tooth decay are linked to some serious illnesses including heart disease and stroke.

IDontLikePinaColadas · 03/09/2026 22:47

didntlikeanyofthesuggestions · 03/09/2026 22:45

YABU. You sound very judgemental.

Judgemental about what exactly? Basic oral hygiene?

ExOptimist · 03/09/2026 22:47

Does the disgusting man go to the dentist at all?

TheMixedGirl · 03/09/2026 22:47

How did you not know how often he brushed his teeth? His breath must stink

PurplebudsWhitebuds · 03/09/2026 22:45

I find it strange that you didn't know how infrequently he brushed his teeth OP. Surely his beath will have told you that, even if you didn't notice him not going in the bathroom to clean them night and morning.

He really is storing up problems for himself. Gum disease and rotting teeth are no joke.

didntlikeanyofthesuggestions · 03/09/2026 22:45

YABU. You sound very judgemental.

sickofsixseven · 03/09/2026 22:45

Does he think this is normal behaviour? I just cant fathom thinking brushing once a week is acceptable! Tell him he stinks and he needs to get his dental hygiene sorted by brushing twice a day and seeing a dentist. His teeth must be rotting out of his head. Grim.

Myplantsmyrules · 03/09/2026 22:44

I know it's not your responsibility but if you care about him you need to stop being so polite and worried about embarrassing him and tell him, for both your sakes.

Does he realise how detrimental to overall health bad teeth can be?

Penguinsandspaniels · 03/09/2026 22:44

Rank. Ex dh rarely brushed his teeth and now falling out - tho that’s also due to alcohol abuse

fashionqueen0123 · 03/09/2026 22:42

wtf. Just tell him! I’d be horrified

AbsintheMakesTheHeartGrowFonder · 03/09/2026 22:40

How have you managed to be married to him without realising this before?

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 03/09/2026 22:40

So you're more worried about embarrassing him, than you're worried about being married to a disgusting lazy stinky-mouthed man who will be toothless by the time he retires (unless he has an unusually low sugar diet)?

Pizzapies · 03/09/2026 22:39

If that’s not a wind up it’s utterly disgusting. Is he a few sandwiches short of a picnic?

3luckystars · 03/09/2026 22:38

Are you having sex with this halitosis Henry?

Elfie23 · 03/09/2026 22:37

My ex only ever brushed his teeth in the mornings and that was disgusting enough! Having to lay next to stale rancid breath was one of the reasons I left the lazy fucker. His excuse was his gums bleed. Yep that’s called gum disease cuz you don’t look after your teeth 😬

Veraandacupoftea · 03/09/2026 22:37

Does his breath not smell?

my dh brushes every night before bed, and I still think sometimes he gets whiffy breath and I wish he would do them twice a day.

how do you kiss him 😩

I think you need to be really frank and say you find it off putting and you’re worried about the condition of his teeth and the example he’s setting for the children.

Waitingfordoggo · 03/09/2026 22:36

Oh gosh, I think would find it impossible to be in a relationship with someone who only brushed their teeth once a week.

As PP said, any mental health issues or neurodivergence? If not, that’s just rank.

BibbityBoppityTwo · 03/09/2026 22:36

If you can’t confront your own DH about this without worrying about embarrassing him, that’s a problem. Someone has to tell us these things and if not our own spouse, then who? Honestly, if a grown man thinks it’s acceptable to brush his teeth once a week, he deserves to be embarrassed! Surely his breath smells horrendous. What about the people who have to interact with him at work, etc?

TremendousThirst · 03/09/2026 22:36

Who are the 4% voting YABU?
Do they think you’re unreasonable for hiding the poor soul’s toothbrush?

Original poster
SweetAudry · 03/09/2026 22:36

Funnily enough he showers daily so I can’t understand the lack of mouth hygiene!

OP posts:
3luckystars · 03/09/2026 22:36

That is absolutely disgusting and I can’t imagine the state of his mickey. What else isnt he washing??

PUKE

Merrybandofpirates · 03/09/2026 22:34

That’s ultimatum time. He sorts out his hygiene or I’d leave. How disgusting. And you’re sleeping with this man?

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