to leave ten year old twins in a cafe while I swim?

I have an outdoor, rural cafe. I get quite a lot of 10/11yr olds walking up with a friend for a milkshake or hot chocolate during the summer holidays. They’re mostly very well behaved. And while I wouldn’t accept responsibility for them I’d be quite happy for two 10yr olds to sit at a table for half an hour with a purchase if they were well behaved. If they weren’t I’d tell you not to leave them on their own again. Why not speak to the café owner and see if they’d be happy for your boys to sit with a drink for half an hour while you swam.

My DC both got the bus to secondary school at age 11 and made their own way home with a key and waited for me to get home. This is London too. Not sure why the general consensus is that it’s a terrible idea tbh! I’d give it go op.

Of course, enjoy your swim.

Which is exactly why kids need to be savy and independent. It's the oversheltered kids with no idea about the real world that get into trouble. Teach them. don't shelter them away. Also they are 10 and 2 of them. You think some dirry old man is going to try it on with 2 at once??

As long as they’re sensible and well behaved, I don’t think 10 is too young. I’d make sure to ask the staff if they did behave, because if there’s any monkey business you’ll have to put a stop to it.

I think it’s a brilliant idea
Go and enjoy your swim. They’re ten, not two. Try it out this week and if it doesn’t work out, try again in a few months.
as long as they don’t prat around in the cafe no one will care, other than the holier-than-thou brigade (who will be wringing their hands in five years when they come to awful realisation that their little darling isn’t able to cross a busy road on their own)

Then exercise at home.

🙄

I don’t actually think letting your 10 yr old walk to school if the same as leaving them in a cafe.

Gosh, I thought I was above averagely careful with my kids until I read this thread. OP, I would consider this an alright thing to do given that the kids are sensible and the cafe is as described. My 9 year-old was once inexplicably desperate to come to the gym with me and my friends rather than stay home with her dad, so she came and sat on a little sofa in the reception area reading a book while I worked out. It was fine. I popped my head round to check on her every now and again, which you can't do, but your children are older and with each other. The children are extremely unlikely to need anything from anyone while you swim, so I don't get the comments about you expecting people to take care of them.

I’d be more inclined to leave them at home for an hour

Can't you go when they're at school or book them into breakfast club and go then? Probably be cheaper than getting them breakfast at a cafe.

If you can only go at the weekend, are there any sports/activity clubs you can get them into on a Saturday morning so you can go.

As the parent of twin boys (now adults) I couldn't imagine I'd have left them at that age. Especially not near a body of water.

Kids/teens can occasionally do stupid shit no matter how sensible you think they are!

Have things really changed so much in 12 years? When my kids were 10, they would leave school with their friends on a Friday and go and get a slice of pizza in town and hang out in the park before I picked them up a couple of hours later. They LOVED Fridays. How is this any different?

I actually think this is fine. I would have left my 10yo for 30mins with some food and a book or gameboy. If they’re sensible then what you describe sounds safe. They’re 10.

I agree. My DC have all been allowed to go to the park alone (with their friends) from age 10/11, and sometimes I give them some money to get a milkshake or something in cafe. I can’t see how this is any different from what OP is suggesting.

@BlueFahrenheitim assuming something awful has happened to you or someone you know, and im sorry for that, or that you suffer extreme levels of anxiety, but its not fair to be all over this thread making a mum feel guilty to do a perfectly normal thing. In fact, we MUST expose our children to be outside their comfort zone occasionally, otherwise they aren’t ready for adult hood. It’s also extremely damaging to baby children and not allow them to do perfectly normal things.

I feel like they are slightly too young. I’d say 12 would be fine.
The concern for me would be
it’s a public place they don’t know that well and they are totally unsupervised
they are near open water
they could wander off and no one would know
theres (I assume) a car park outside the cafe , potentially there could be a accident
something could happen to you

‘abandoning’ 10 year olds in a cafe for 30 minutes. Get Social Services on the line immediately!

This is not standard for all 10 year olds though. Plenty of secondary dc are driven by parents

Also there’s no childcare in school holidays etc when they get to secondary age….. because they’re expected to be at home whilst parents are working and manage leaving and returning perhaps even to a cafe!! It’s very age appropriate and I’d argue even sensible to be building up these skills now.

Yes everyone has lots of annual leave to take to exercise.

@justkeepswimminginalake - could you hire a local teenager to supervise them in the cafe?

Clearly, the OP wants to create a safeguarding issue. The cafe employees should not have to worry about the OP abandoning her kids so she can go swimming.

I would do it OP, since you have confidence in those particular children and that particular place. Ten is old enough to be out alone and there is no reason to think they would fall in the water.

I think the cafe staff might notice if two young children were left alone for any length of time and not be particularly happy about it! You're basically expecting them to be responsible for your kids.