to leave ten year old twins in a cafe while I swim?

Assuming they’re going into Y6, in a year’s time - from my experience - many kids at that age can walk into a cafe, order something to eat and consume their food/drink right there. It’s quite normal for kids to do this from Y7 onwards. As such, I expect it’s reasonable for two sensible ten year olds to do the same? I think it just sounds/looks a bit ‘off’ (perhaps because of the image of them sat plugged into a screen or whatnot? And because it looks more like
childcare because you’re doing something yourself?). But, having thought more about it, I don’t think it’s unreasonable. You’ll get judged though! As you can see from responses here. If it’s the only way you can find a way to get some exercise, it’s quite valuable! I was so relieved when I felt I could go for a quick run and leave my two at home (but I always had a friend who I told when I went out and got back - I was paranoid that I’d have a heart attack or be run over!).

Whatever you decide, it’s really not long now before you’ll start having little chunks of time to do things!

This thread is 10. Most 10 year olds can sit in a cafe either their twin and read a book, do homework, have a milkshake or something for half N hour. They can walk to and from school on their own at that age.

Thats what im asking, would it be safe? - im not familiar with the setting

The lakes I swim at with a cafe, have free rein to wander around and not a manned gate. There are rushes all around the lake, so its a different set up

Ask the questions and ensure the situation is safe as can be.

Yeah exactly, but when we raise children who are told they can't:
Quietly occupy a public space without mum by their side
Walk to school
Go to a shop alone
Order a meal
Be safe off line
Be home alone for periods
Make choices and face consequences...

When we teach kids that they are not able to do these normal things, we are raising anxious teens. It's too late at 14 or 16 to suddenly expect teens to have some resilience and confidence - these attributes need to be developed from childhood

I think it really depends on the kids. Some 10 year old would be fine with this. My eldest would. But my youngest - no way!

I would do that without hesitation. My kids are sensible and well behaved. They’d be told not to leave etc. All good.

You are 52 x more likely to have an accident in the home. www.national-accident-helpline.co.uk/news/post/accidents-home

Please don't leave them in a cafe. This is not ok.

I think it's fine. It is a managed place with lifeguards, nothing bad will happen to you. You will swim. They will sit. I would totally trust my 10 yo to do this. They would probably bring a book.

Already answered but I just want to add that no one is recognising that this might be important for your well being. You've given them 10 years and you are asking for is 30 minutes of mental space. Meanwhile they learn a bit of independence, assuming they are happy with the arrangement, it's a different situation if not. I think its a win win.

That age has always horrified me tbh! At my gym the children have to be 12 to be in the pool alone.

Year 6? Sensible? Breakfast. I’d say yes. They will be a secondary school next year and will need to do a whole lot more, including going to and from school. I’m really surprised at the overwhelming no, especially since I think I molly coddled my two!

My god this thread is so shocking to me! I knew I was a bit more liberal than other parents when my kids were ten (about 15 years ago), they were walking to school from about 8 or 9, but we are raising young people with zero life skills. And fwiw leaving children alone is a lot more dangerous than being in a public place. And no, that does not include the expectation that cafe staff look after them, bar the basic good citizen thing hopefully all of us would do when we’re out and about- such as stepping in in a young person is being hassled.

Would you leave them at home on their own? If the answer is no then what's the difference?

No, but if they are treated like toddlers when they are 10 then they are hardly likely to become confident, self reliant teenagers

Are you mad?

@ArtieChokehow does that make them nearly in yr 7? 😆

I'd say 10 is quite old to only be starting to walk home alone. Where I am they do it from 7 or 8. My 8 year old already goes to the local shop by himself. He loves the independence.

Absolutely unreasonable. I can’t believe you’d even consider it!!

Why would a couple of 10 year olds not be safe in a cafe because its near water. They are hardly going to wonder off and jump into the lake in the clothes at 10 years old.

There’s a manned gate for which they won’t have tickets and lifeguard.

they are 10 years old, if they are 11 in October/November then they would be a similar age to many secondary school boys in year 7 that have June and July birthdays

10 yr olds aren’t teens though?

I am so surprised everyone is so anti this! They are not 5! Why can't two 10 year Olds go to a Cafe alone? At this age they are going into their final year at primary school and from my experience typically start walking home from school independently. My, now 12 year son, would routinely pop into a café or shop with friends on the way home on a Friday to spend their pocket money at this age in year 6.

10 yr olds aren’t teens though?