to leave ten year old twins in a cafe while I swim?

The OP is probably more likely to be killed in a car accident on the 20 min drive to the lake than she is to drown swimming in a 100 x 100 metre lake with a lifeguard.

Why would they be any more devastated if they were in a cafe than they would if they were at home, or at at school, or anywhere else?
Their mother being dead would be the problem, not the location they were in at the time!!!

But, @stichguru nothing bad happened to your son from what you say here. He learned that sometimes places are evacuated and they were presumably told where to go. And you will have had the opportunity to talk about how these situations are dealt with. Now he'll have a better idea of what to do the next time he encounters an unexpected situation while visiting an attraction. If he'd been 10 it would have been just the same, except I expect the staff might have checked where he expected to find his parent. And OP can discuss with her kids what to do if the unexpected happens - eg if for any reason they couldn't stay in the café, they could a) go and ask staff at the lake to call their mum in from the swimming area, or b) wait outside the café, or wherever OP suggests.

I would think they will be fine if they had their IPads for half an hour. You know your boys and I’m sure you would not consider it if you didn’t think they would be sensible.

Jesus Christ, some of the responses! Definitely go for it OP!! Your kids will be absolutely fine. I was leaving my then 10 year old alone for half an hour (or more) with no phone. At 10 and a half I was leaving them home with a much younger sibling to mind. Enjoy swimming!!

You know your children and whether they are sensible enough.
Tbh I think this is perfectly reasonable. They are more likely to sit quietly and stay safe in the cafe for 20mins than at home together for an hour or longer. I imagine they'll sit playing games or whatever. And they can look out for each other?

My condolences that it’s a rite of passage to go to Costa, they are crap!

You can prepare for high school without going to Costa…

My kids don't have anxiety. I didn't let them visit cafes alone when they were 10.

Because you think the OP is being unreasonable

Why would 10 year olds go to a cafe in their school uniform?

10 year old go into town shopping on a weekend and plan all week what they are going to wear and its never ever their school uniform

Probably just as (un)likely for a 10 year old to be hit by a car while sitting in a cafe as it is for them to choke on their food 🤣🤣🤣

Because I recognise local uniforms?! 😆😆

Strange reaction that you’d send condolences for children preparing for high school being allowed to build independence. Small low risk adventures like this teach so much.. responsibility, appropriate social skills, handling money… and yes, are the starting point for building skills around keeping safe.

Yes, strange that some people are absolutely against two 10 year old sitting in a café together but would be okay with them navigating busy roads together.

@Timeforachange26 did you miss the also bit?

But there are plenty of dc in McDonalds, Subways, Greggs etc during the week, particularly on a Friday. Why would it only be a weekend thing?! Does this not happen where you live?

I didn’t claim I could tell a 10 or 11 yr old apart, I don’t see either age group clogging up the cafes.

It would be devastating whether they were in the cafe or elsewhere when she drowned though 🤷‍♀️

I think it’s totally fine, where I live DC go to the library themselves ( mine is 7). Staff are clear they are not responsible for your kid but if they behave appropriately they can stay.

Unhinged.

Has this word lost all meaning on MN? It would appear so.

That’s pretty disturbing that you are a teacher

I find some of the replies on this thread bizarre, mine were staying at home in the summer holidays at this age whilst I went to work. They went swimming at our local leisure centre alone from 8yo. Staying in a cafe, I wouldn’t think twice

I was asking what the poster thought was so uniquely dangerous about London.

And one of the things that definitely won't happen in a cafe is being hit by a car.

This is when I thank fuck I live in London and parents are sensible and we all allow our 10-11yrs old to gain independence. Walking to the shops for milk, trip to the cafe with a friend, Superdrug for some nail varnish. It all helps foster young adults that can cope in the world.

Those of you who are against ever letting your pre teens out of your sight - surely you’ve seen and heard the news about anxious young adults totally unable to cope with the world and thought….how do I avoid that..

It wouldn’t be “weird” for the twins it would be devastating
the mother is unhinged to even be considering this

@Photobotmy dc travel to secondary school alone & did from spring yr 6. I don’t understand why it’s either or? plenty of people will be comfortable with their 11 travelling to school but not leaving a 10 yr old in a cafe when swimming.

@justkeepswimminginalake maybe you could just hire a child minder for an hour or so whilst you want to swim?