to leave ten year old twins in a cafe while I swim?

They are 10, not 3 . I’m sure op knows how her kids behave in public.

I'm amazed at the upset about this - it seems totally fine to me! My 11 year old walks to and from school by himself and goes to the shops with his friends. He sometimes goes to a cafe after school on a friday for an ice cream. All fine.

What on earth do people think will happen?

At least read the OPs comments before commenting, she is happy leaving them home alone but they want to go to the cafe for a treat.

Sorry lost all that. Then it seems fine to me. In fact it's probably safer because they are less likely to do anything unsafe (even accidently) in a cafe.

She's bringing them to the cafe because they want to go. And they will be closer. And they spend time alone at home so she doesn't consider it unsafe

Why not just leave them at home? I mean of course you can bring your children to a public cafe, but if you are bringing to the cafe because leaving them at home on their own doesn't feel safe, then aren't you bringing them to the cafe to have some supervision, which means you should be paying for childcare.

There was an 8 year old killed at a zebra crossing near me sone years ago. She was holding her mother's hand at the time. Surely even the most neurotic parents would consider that safe.

So the " what is" are a bit extreme

Yeah if she thinks this is ok she probably leaves kids home alone too………..

irresponsible

I'd assume OP has taught her children how to behave appropriately in cafes. At 10 years old this shouldn't be a problem.

The responses are mostly about the safety of the kids
I’d be more concerned about them bickering, making noise, deciding to play a physical game within the cafe and disturbing other cafe users.

Has OP said she's not immortal though? It's quite unfair to assume.

Hi @justkeepswimminginalake just found that the NSPCC have a useful quiz to help you mentally tick off where you and your kids are at

www.nspcc.org.uk/advice-for-families/home-alone/home-alone-quiz/

So a year from now they might need to get themselves to school and back alone, that's if they're not already doing it.

It would be more of an issue if they couldn't sit and eat nicely in a cafe for half an hour unsupervised at this age.

But I'm now reminded of the poster who's DD12 along with a similar aged friend went into a pub and ordered lemonades each. I can't remember the detail but that was probably an interesting thread.

eta: found it!

My dd popped to the pub this afternoon. | Mumsnet

They'll be going in to year 6 if they're 11 in February

I absolutely wouldn't ask the cafe, that makes it sound like you want to use them as childcare. As you've already said they don't actually need looking after and I'd hazard a guess that no one at the cafe will bat an eyelid at two lads having their breakfast and eating cake.

I think you should go for it, doing a "dry run" is a great idea. Kids need to gain independence and this only happens when you give them small opportunities like this to show you that they can be responsible and handle the independence. Half an hour in a safe cafe is perfect.

You know your kids. If they are sensible enough, why not! Enjoy your swimming x

Glad you've decided to give it a go OP. It's always risky asking on here because too many people are ridiculously overcautious and think you should never do anything for yourself. As long as your DC are able to sit quietly in the cafe and not disturb other customers or staff, I don't see the issue. It's only half an hour, it's not like you're going to be leaving them all morning.

Yes in hindsight, it was really quite foolhardy to have the children in the first place if OP knew she wasn't even immortal.

Also, this what if she drowns business, what if she drowns when someone is looking after them. Is she never supposed to swim?!

So they're just going into year 5 at school? We have children start to walk home alone here at this age. I'm surprised at the number of people here that think sitting in a cafe for 30 minutes is an issue. I think they'd be fine.

You can see why there are so many snowflakes walking out into the world now. There are more being raised by some of the people on this thread.

I think this is fine. Many 11 year olds get themselves to and from secondary school just fine and then let themselves in to an empty house. There’s two of your kids and they’re in a public place. If I saw two 10 year olds in a café together I wouldn’t bat an eyelid. As long as they’re sensible and not causing any trouble.

Just try not to drown OP! And if you do, the boys being in a café is the least of your worries.

Okay - I imagined you leaving them there for an hour and them ending up squabbling over something like siblings sometimes do.

As a mother she shouldn’t be staying in the house either remember. Most accidents happen at home.

10 and 11 year olds (yr 6 and above) are unsupervised in public places all the time! Not least, walking to and from school. Yr 6’s are encouraged to do this to prepare for possibly much longer journeys under their own steam when they go to secondary school the following year. It starts to give them confidence that they can actually do things safely by themselves without relying on adults every step of the way. How are they ever going to learn to navigate the world if they can’t be in public places alone aged 10? That’s just ridiculous!

@Besidemyselfwithworry

exactly!! What if she drowns?!

as a mother she shouldn’t really be leaving the house full stop - what if she gets knocked down for example??