to leave ten year old twins in a cafe while I swim?

And when the kids start getting bored and wander off who is responsible? The cafe staff will get blamed..

@MorganKitten

She doesn’t need to! Read her posts..she’s left her kids in the cafe while she had a swim and they were just fine. 😀 no childcare needed and OP gets some time to herself and some exercise. Great stuff

Then arrange childcare.

@MorganKitten

OP has very limited opportunity to exercise besides this.

I think op knows her sons better than you do. Maybe they enjoy having a drink and snack at a cafe and the independence that brings.

Why not drop the boys to an activity/club before your swim, then they would be supervised and have a much more fun time than sitting in a cafe. They might have been well behaved the first time but the novelty will wear off…I honestly still don’t understand why you can’t leave two 10 year olds at home together for 1-1.5 hours while you go swimming? That is the most logical and sensible solution. They would be much more comfortable at home with their gaming/tv shows/toys whatever they do day to day.

This is not the same tho. At a roller disco the staff are paid to be watching over everything and its expected there will be a few kids. Likewise at a swimming pool, the lifeguards are paid to be watching.

Leaving them in a cafe you are effectively leaving them with the staff watching them. You might claim you dont expect the staff to keep an eye on them but the staff will feel obligated to when they realise the boys have just been left. Thats not fair on the staff.

Why cant the boys swim with you? Its no different to swimming in the cold Atlantic sea off devon and cornwall which plenty of kids do?

An update on the cafe trip today for anyone interested. They ordered their food, paid and found a table and I explained that I’d be outside but I wanted to see how they got on on their own which was fine with the cafe. It went exactly as I expected. They had their food and drink and played with a deck of Top Trumps which they caught me trying to throw out earlier this week. They had a great time, didn’t bother anyone, didn’t need any care and the cafe said they’d be happy to have them again. I got to read my book and drink a coffee in peace in the sun. So will try a fifteen minute dip next week and see how it goes.

I really do appreciate the debate in this thread, even though I’m in the minority according to the vote and I ended up doing what I said I would in the OP. Pretty much everyone, except the ones who said I should be arrested, has given me something to think about and helped me to make up my mind.

Fair enough if that’s the consensus. I used to be dropped off at the local leisure centre at upper primary age to go roller skating with money to get a slush puppy in the cafe afterwards. We’d often bump into people from school doing similar but maybe that was localised to my town, or times have moved on.

Where does my post say ‘you are selfish for exercising’? It doesn’t, it says leaving a child in a cafe under the responsibility of staff is selfish… if those children get up and walk out you know who will get the brunt of it… the staff.

@MorganKitten

It is NOT selfish to want to pursue hobbies and exercise. These are important especially exercise- exercise is essential we should all be doing it.

Im back again
This thread has been on my mind today and I've been asking myself is it because OP would be doing something for herself that it doesn't sit right with me. Honestly, no. It's good children see their parents having a life. I think what's bothering me is two things .. that they are sort of stuck in the situation, and the probable repetitive nature.
If two kids go to a cafe by themselves, they can leave if they feel at ease, someone tries to engage them in chat and they don't feel comfortable, if they have an argument etc. Someone asked if OP had posted "my 10 year old want to be more independent and go toa cafe for 30 mins" would everyone be saying definitely yes, this is good for them. But this isn't the same. It's a situation that would be thrust on them, weekly, and the novelty might quickly wear off. Then they might start behaving in a way.that would surprise OP who thinks they are very sensible 10 year olds! I've been a teacher 30 years and very few 10 year old are reliably sensible, repeatedly. So its totally different to two friends going to local shop etc independently as they choose to go,and can leave when they choose

Also, (i will be flamed for this but here goes....) if I had 2 ten year old boys who were homeschooling and in OPs own words "rely on her for all their socialisation" I would be trying to get them into hobbies or clubs on a Saturday morning, with other kids rather than sat in a cafe by themselves. And will they even be so enthusiastic about spending every Sat morning in a cafe for long more?

"When you homeschool your kids there is no break."
True. All the more reason for her to have a swim then, don't you think, @Bananacrepewithnuts?

Do you know any 10 year olds? My daughter is 11 (in her last year of primary school, several of her friends are still 10) and I actually think she would be quite insulted if I suggested she wasn't capable of surviving without an adult for half an hour. You are entitled to your opinion, and this thread shows that many people agree with you, but I think most 10 years olds are far more capable than people on here give them credit for.

Unless of course you work in a school

I hear you but at least when your kids are in school you have the option of some time to yourself (you can take annual leave, your shift pattern might allow some me time.
When you homeschool your kids there is no break.

I still don't agree with the children being left on their own though. That's just my opinion.
X

Home ed wasn’t my first choice and I’m hoping that both boys will be back in school in Y7. But one of them was very badly bullied which and the school was useless so I took him out of school and only planned to keep him home for a term while he healed, but he enjoyed being home and we found a groove. His brother soured on that school after what happened to his brother and I tried to convince him to go to another school but he wanted to stay home too and it’s actually easier with them both home because they have each other for company and I’m not balancing HE for one, and school pick ups,drop offs, wrap around care, and bring your hamster to school day for the other. He’s keen to try again in Y7 and with it being a new school and his brother being there the one who was bullied has said he’s willing to try again too (though he chops and changes). Home education wasn’t what I’d originally chosen and it doesn’t really feel like a choice. It’s more like I’ve had no choice but to pick up the pieces after school and children’s mental health services failed my son. It’s probably not the thread for this rant, and I acknowledge how lucky I am in a way that it was an option while I can keep working full time. It’s still relentless feeling and probably why I’m keen to attempt to do something I love for myself. If it doesn’t work out it doesn’t work out though, because that’s the reality of the situation.

I hear you but at least when your kids are in school you have the option of some time to yourself (you can take annual leave, your shift pattern might allow some me time.
When you homeschool your kids there is no break.

I still don't agree with the children being left on their own though. That's just my opinion.
X