AIBU to feel put out by my daughter's changed school run request?

She feels I don’t have a respect for education as I see no problem with DS taking his children out of school for holidays

I agree with your DD here.

TBH I think neither the OP nor her daughter come out well here.

The childcare issue sounds rather transactional and the OP is being tone deaf about the daughter not wanting to hear about her brother and his family.

This comment really stood out to me “I take DD and her family on holiday every year but for a shorter time as I can’t afford 2 full holidays and she and DS won’t go on holiday together”. Does that mean @Helcarlol goes away with the golden child son and his family for a proper holiday every year but then can only afford a short break with her DD and family? Why wouldn’t you alternate years so each of them get a chance of a longer holiday? It really does sound you favour your DS and his family hugely. Tone deaf to talk about them all the time around your DD. You’re lucky she’s keeping the door open for your regular Wednesday dinners. Be very careful what you talk about at them because if it’s abour DS and his family I think you’ll find those Wednesday dinners will stop soon as well.

Maybe she is so busy as she spends hours on Mumsnet and may find this post and see what you have said about her.

I don't think you like her at all and I think you both know that.

OP is long gone.

Clearly doesn't like being told how her behaviour comes across.

You seem very annoyed at this, it's clearly touched a nerve.

No one has to tolerate their mothers bad behaviour and OP has clearly overstepped and clearly complains a lot to and about her daughter. Her daughter doesn't have to be grateful and shut up, she is free to and has quite rightly told her mother to shove it and paid someone instead for an easier life.

Yes, but she was the one who cancelled.

Well if I was the OP and she pulled that stunt if soon tell her to F off

Oh dear. Maybe she’ll have a change of heart when the new arrangements she’s made also start getting on her nerves somehow.

But she did u til things didn't go how she tried to dictate

So that that busy for someone who works 2 days a bloody week.

I'm not sure why everyone is so busy. I had 3 kids as a single parent and a full time time. I wasn't never that busy that I couldn't spend time with friends and family

Tgen in that case why would you want your mum to be looking after yr kids

This sounds a bit like my situation. My brother and I don’t get on and my Mum talks about him a lot. I just let it wash over me. Although I adore my nephews so do listen to that bit. Your DD doesn’t sound very nice to be honest. I looked after my DGS everyday full time whilst his Mum and Dad were at work.
Have your ever had a close relationship or do you get any vibes that she tolerates you rather than actually loves you.

Initially thought how rude of your DD but with the update about you talking about her brother and his kids I don't blame her at all!
Would strongly advise you say you hadn't realised you were doing that and stop immediately. She has probably been simmering about it for a long time.

OPs daughter has told her she would rather she didn't come. Because she's a nuisance. She's decided to pay someone instead so she doesn't have to deal with her anymore. Good for her!

God my MIL bangs on endlessly about her DD and her kids. Bloody sick of hearing about them - everything I or DH (o anyone!) says gets twisted straight round to how SIL did that or her kids are doing that or are going to that and how wonderful it is/was/will be and it drives me potty!!

We dont hear a peep about her other grand kids. Sometimes just for kicks i'll interrupt the flow of SIL news and ask about the other grandchildren. How are they going at school MIL? She falters as if i've asked her how the latest attempt at moon landings are going and gives me a vague answer before going back to the SIL monologue.

I don't even dislike SIL!! It would be so much worse if i did!

🙄🙄🙄🙄

Stop talking about your son OP and his kids OP.

I am well past the primary school run but someone coming,.making tea and talking about family would push me over the edge..
She couldn't face another year of it and maybe she thought it wouldn't happen again... So when opted out

And with hair.... Maybe the child didn't want you to do it and the DD thought it was easy to do it herself. Anyway, whatever the reason you texted her and you now know the truth.

To commit to someone one night a week is massive. We used to have clubs and homework so to keep a night free outside of this is massive. I don't think you appreciate how busy it is with young children.

This is an excellent outcome for OP’s daughter.

I'd also be irritated by this . I managed to get 4 up, dressed and fed for school . It was never manic and I'd have loved someone to come and help or even just be there for a bit before school . She's treating you like paid staff , it's bloody rude and ungrateful . Ask her if she'd rather you not come if you're such a nuisance .

Neither is the OP's daughter now...

I’m past the school run age now but couldn’t think of anything worse than someone else being there getting under my feet. Your daughter is probably full on busy getting ready for work and getting two young children ready.

I also find it a bit rude tbh, you are doing her a massive favour, so what's the big deal. I must be the only one in the world who didn't find school mornings 'chaotic' 'hectic' etc etc. I am not some uber organised superhuman, just that the same things happened every morning so the routine gets settled.

Yes but I bet you aren’t using them for free daily childcare.