DH wants my birthday presents back

Oh he’s a honey isn’t he!! I’d shove the watch and led mask up his spiteful arse along with divorce papers!!

I’d be putting the LED mask where the sun doesn’t shine, leaving him walking sideways.

Is there anyone who could take and keep your essential documents from you, i.e. marriage and birth certificates? Is there someone who could store some essentials for you? Or would it be possible to hire a small storage unit nearby? This could help in the event of having to leave quickly and quietly. Women's Aid help with planning for future escape safely.

This why you need the help of a DA charity, like Women’s Aid. They can help you with the legal side of things, like getting a non-molestation order, reporting the DA to the Police and how you can exit the relationship safely.

Please, just make the initial contact with them.

If you don’t want to speak to someone in the phone, you can use the National Domestic Abuse Helpline’s chatbot.

Wrong choice of words. Apologies. X

I feel like divorcing this prick now. - do not resist this feeling. Ditch him. YOu are worth more than this.

why does anyone stand for this! I’d be getting my creams back out the car and throwing the box at his face
divorce!!!

Just here to say you’re not alone, OP. There are people out there (and on here) who are there to support you. Also people in similar situations. ❤️

Definitely. You only have to read the Relationship Section on MN on any day of the week.

As everyone else has said please make a plan and leave , leave for yourself and leave for your children .
It will be hard ,It will be uncomfortable,money will be tight for a while , but my god it will be worth it , I promise you . Imagine no longer being bullied ,no longer having to hide gifts , or be worried about what you buy for yourself , nobody shouting at you , imagine feeling and being safe and happy
Both you and your children deserve so so much more .

Makes absolute sense. You need a plan and if that’s something we can help you with pros/cons & advice, just ask. Were all rooting for you to get out safely and to have a lovely peaceful life

I have only posted once on this thread but feel the need to respond (as in react) to yours.

What a privileged situation you are in to not grasp chronic manipulation, gaslighting, toxicity and emotional abuse. Maybe post some productive advice next time?

Please also look at the website Rights of Women to find advice

Just saying what I’d do 🤷🏻‍♀️ I’ve been in similar situation and no I did not stand for it. It’s hardly a privilege lol

To do what you suggested and simply throw boxes at his face and leave shows how you do not understand the longterm psychological impact of being in such a dysfunctional relationship like this. Given the behaviour of OP’s H, she is clearly at risk and any behaviour from her may be inflammatory and further detrimental to the little wellbeing she does have remaining.

My wish is not to derail from OP.

@Rainbowstar14 Throwing the box in the face of a coercive, misogynist abuser is about the most stupid and potentially dangerous advice you could give. Your flippant (and irritating) 'lol' at the end of your post just emphasises your lack of knowledge and understanding of the gravity of these sorts of scenarios.

I know you mean well so please go and read up a bit on domestic abuse so that your advice comes from a place of understanding. It really is not the same as a non-abusive person being a bit of a dick over something as a one off.

@BeRedUserI know leaving your DH can be overwhelming. You also have some very young DC and DA added in but you can do this.

He may be ok sometimes but he’s really not ok all of the time and you and your DC deserve better than being on tenterhooks for the next lot of abuse hurled at you.

A DA charity can help you break down the steps that you need to take.

You won’t necessarily have to live in a refuge either. Some local authorities will provide the deposit for a rented home.

Oh fuck HIM. You poor poor thing. Does he ever spend money on himself or have days/ nights out?

If you’d actually paid attention to OP’s posts you’d have realised that what comes through loud and clear is that she is afraid of this man, and that this is a pattern of abuse. It’s not simply a one off, but repeated coercive behaviour designed to punish, belittle and ultimately to control. This man isn’t just behaving like a dick, he’s abusing her. Your advice, should she follow it, would likely be disastrous.

@BeRedUser you are probably very overwhelmed with all the replies on this thread.
You don’t have to do anything yet, but please please begin to make plans to leave this man. He is an abuser. This is abuse. Not all abuse is black eyes and broken bones.
Get yourself some therapy and build up your self belief. You are amazing, know this. And remember it.
Don’t not let that bastard beat you down.

Actually what he is doing is a Crime. He is a Criminal. You can call/go to the Police also even a pharmacy will help you.

How are things today @BeRedUser? Has there been anymore abuse?

Has he given you your things back yet?

If you are planning on staying in the house this may be difficult. Would you for instance be able to pay for the house on your wage?

I’m not legally trained and as another said, you’re probably best speaking to Rights of Women about how you stand legally.

One thing that would help you to be able to stay in the house is if you report the abuse and get a Non-Molestation Order.

Before you do this though I really would recommend talking to a DA charity to help you exit the relationship safely.