AIBU to find my mum watching every nappy change a bit odd?

Well she wouldn't be there every day because she's not stupid, presumably. Because what new mother wants that amount of anyone's presence? That would be an OP on AIBU.

Exactly! And it recalls the days when my own were like that

It's freaking me out a bit that anyone might read something suspect into a sweet moment.

That. I probably watched nappy change pretty often, too. The amazing thing about grandparenting is how it takes you back to when your own kids were tiny. And something as simple as nappy change induces that warm sense of nostalgia and love.

Why do posters say that the mother just wants to be very close to the baby when she sets contact time for 120 minutes per week. She’d be there all day on most days if that was the case. They’re not a close mother and daughter. She isn’t there all the time or asking for extra time. Her 120 minutes in a week is hardly a dedicated full on grandmother.

Find the nappy changing thing odd. Both my mum and MIL will tell you they've changed enough themselves between the 5 of us 😂 but the bath time thing I understand, it is lovely seeing baby splashing and playing in the bath! I would let them do that!

Especially when they still have the newborn frog legs!

She not with you for long and will be enjoying the chance to relive the days of when she had her own baby. I totally get where she’s coming from.
She’s not watching to see the nappy change. She’s watching to see the baby who happens to be having their nappy changed. Babies lying on their back gives you a lovely view of their little faces and expressions!

Have you asked her if she wants a turn??

Your response to it weirds me out more than your Mum's behaviour does.

Oh no ! I love watching my little granddaughter having her nappy changed, she loves it and is so kicky and happy without her nappy on ! I love seeing her knee dimples and her little toes ! It’s not weird, is it ?

OP has been totally consistent in not mentioning the baby's gender.

I'm curious to know why you decided she has a son.

As before OP nip this in the bud now. You are a mother. Your baby your rules. Believe in yourself, you are doing a great job and don’t need her approval! I don’t actually recall changing a nappy in front of visitors, and after all that’s what your mum is. If you don’t start a thing you don’t have it to stop is a good thing to remember! Consider your child’s dignity and privacy in this. If it’s really necessary for them to be changed while your mother is there take them to another room. Smile and do as you like.
Find other common ground with your mum too, take the lead on it. Push the pram round a Bational Trust garden or something. Might make life easier in future. Good luck.

She’s just enjoying her grandchild.

next time pass her the baby to change and you go and make a cup of tea. You are your mum can get things a bit better now, you have things to chat about nowadays there’s a new baby. Chat about the baby.

give her a chance OP. I’m NC LC with all of my family so I do understand but this sounds like she actually wants to be involved.

This is what I think too. Your mum wants to be part of it all - helping to bring up the baby, sharing in your lives, present throughout the good bits, the bad bits, the mundane bits. Just being there really, one of the family. That’s all.
I think it’s odd that it makes you uncomfortable.
Are you implying that there is something improper in her interest in watching the nappy change? Do you have any reason to suspect this of her?
If you don’t like it you should just tell her though - or better yet ask her to help rather than just watching.

Many years ago when I had my fistborn, my DD my Mum watched me change her terry nappy and told me not to prick her with the safety pin. As if I would. She did tell me I had done a neat job though.

Who has fond memories of changing diapers, seriously?

Tell your mom to stay in the living room when you're doing diaper changes. Hanging over your shoulder to look, it sounds like she wants to find fault with what you're doing. That's the only reason I can think of.

I think she just has fond memories of all aspects of having a baby , I doubt she is critiquing .They are babies for such a short time and you don’t always appreciate it at the time .

Perhaps she wants to have a go so why not let her?

She only sees you and baby a few hours a week so doesn’t want to miss a thing Like a deranged stalker Where are the personal boundaries, it isn’t right to stand over anyone’s shoulder while they completing a task unless they’ve ask for help.
Her DM is welcome to visit more often and chooses not to visit for longer, it doesn’t mean she can smoother OP when she does visit.

She doesn't see you that often.

She just wants to spend time with you. I love changing my DGS nappy and when I'm with him I could gaze at him all the time! So she is not being unreasonable - she just wants to soak up time with him.

When you're in the trenches of early parenthood you won't get it - I know I didn't. But as a DGP it is so different and these little moments, poo and all, mean everything.

Don't be hard on her. She just wants to spend time with you - there is nothing weird about that.

That’s just weird. Tell her to sit down. Or take the baby upstairs and see if she follows you.

Ask her why she’s watching if she gets up

I find it odd that you dont understand it.

She only sees you and baby a few hours a week so doesnt want to miss a thing. Of course its cute to watch. Babies are cute when theyre doing pretty much anything. Id say she is relieving her time with a newborn.

How can you feel unnerved by your mum wanting to be involved? If you do i can only assume its because you think she isnt safe around baby? Why else would you feel unnerved?

Just stop overthinking OP. Does it matter!

Bathtime in particular is a lovely thing to do and changing tiny baby nappies (that don’t reek) is cute. Let her do them if it unnerves you so much.

Yep, I've got one of those mothers too 😁

I'd try asking her (really neutrally, without any 'tone') whether she wants to come and watch the nappy change. You're letting her know that you can see what she's doing without directly challenging her and if she's anything like my mum, she'll lose interest if she thinks it doesn't bother me! The worst that can happen is that she does come and watch, which she would be doing anyway 😆

Christ she loves her Grandchild. Poor Nan being labelled as weird and a whole thread on MN for randoms to pick over and accuse her of being odd or a paedo.

Imo she's the one that needs judged not you.

I change dgc's nappy if requested to so so but haven't ever hovered watching dd do it...
It's a nappy change not a genital gazing session.