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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think some people are just miserable for the sake of it?

152 replies

justsmileabitffs · 03/09/2026 17:34

I’m on holiday in Milan. I have spent the day sightseeing and my hotel is right by the Duomo so I grabbed dinner there.

I was sat next to a table of five British women who did nothing but complain. The view wasn’t good enough, the drinks were too small, the drinks were too big (!), too sweet, too much ice. The food wasn’t “cute Italian food” (well, no shit Sherlock! You’re not going to get a little Italian nonna cooking you food at a tourist trap restaurant!), the KFC around the corner didn’t have what one woman wanted, just endless complaints.

AIBU to think some people just look for things to complain about?! You’re in Italy, in a gorgeous city, eating relatively cheap food! That should be enough to make them happy, no?

OP posts:
HangingOver · 04/09/2026 09:04

DF is like this. Being around him is extremely draining. Everything is negative, everything is a plot, everything bad that happens to people is somehow their fault. I went away with him for a long weekend is Barcelona and he complained about EVERYTHING. Then he told everyone he had a really good time when he got back?? Complaining is just some people's default.

AuntieBiotics · 04/09/2026 09:00

AnneLovesGilbert · 04/09/2026 08:56

Ooh, can you please do an AMA about working on cruises, I’d be fascinated!!

Probably not the best person to do it, to be honest! I am sort of a hybrid between passenger and crew, I am like one of the dance instructors, guest lecturers, craft instructors, bridge teachers who go on board for one specific cruise and then leave. I don't have crew responsibilities and don't go in the crew areas, the deal is I get a free cruise for me and a plus one in return for my services on at-sea days.

MaturingCheeseball · 04/09/2026 08:59

I agree with a pp that increasing numbers of people have decided they are “foodies” which enables them to criticise meals from a Michelin starred place to MaccyDs to - worst of all - food in other people’s homes.

I couldn’t have shuddered any more than when someone I knew ostentatiously tasted the wine in an ordinary Indian restaurant and then declared the curry “not flavourful” - CRINGE.

crackofdoom · 04/09/2026 08:59

crackofdoom · 04/09/2026 08:56

Did they really have a privileged lifestyle though? Really? I'm sure they did materially, but I often ponder on women of my mother's generation (so, the women who would be in their 70s/80s now).

There was a huge amount of societal pressure to become a revolving satellite around some man, even if it meant giving up their own them ams and ambitions, and I don't think it made thm all happy.

Edited

Should read "dreams and ambitions". My phone is 6 years old and starting to go haywire- now shopping for a new phone and setting it up, that's guaranteed to make me miserable and grumpy! 😆

AnneLovesGilbert · 04/09/2026 08:56

AuntieBiotics · 04/09/2026 08:50

I came across a man like this on the last cruise I was working on. We had only been on board about 2 hours and I was helping hosting a table for singles at a social gert together and he just moaned about everything - he didn't like his cabin, the bed was too hard, the bathroom too small, he wanted a port cabin and they gave him a starboard, the prices were expensive, they didn't have his preferred brand of gin at the bar, the entertainment started too late, he didn't like the dress code, the weather forecast looked poor, he didn't like the choice of shore tours - it just went on and on and on. Much eye rolling from the other guests on the table.

Ooh, can you please do an AMA about working on cruises, I’d be fascinated!!

crackofdoom · 04/09/2026 08:56

Contain4 · 03/09/2026 18:46

YANBU!!

I’ve found it’s often women over a certain age and of a certain class (often ones that don’t even work themselves).

It frustrates me because usually they have a really privileged lifestyle.

I grew up really poor and had a well off friend who would invite me places. At first I loved it as we went to restaurants and things (I never had enough to eat and home) but I stopped going in the end because her mum would sit there with a face like a slapped arse and pick at her food complaining about everything.
Even at my young age I felt so sorry for the waiters who she’d blame it on.

Did they really have a privileged lifestyle though? Really? I'm sure they did materially, but I often ponder on women of my mother's generation (so, the women who would be in their 70s/80s now).

There was a huge amount of societal pressure to become a revolving satellite around some man, even if it meant giving up their own them ams and ambitions, and I don't think it made thm all happy.

Annoyedbyhusband · 04/09/2026 08:53

We were on holiday in Spain in a beautiful 5 star all inclusive this summer. At dinner there was a large multi generational family on the table behind us and then they had a huge bust up. The adult son started laying into his dad saying you’re ruining everyone’s holiday with your complaining, the dad was refusing to eat, saying he is not eating this foreign food and not going to eat dinners that aren’t proper dinner that you have to get up and walk about for (they literally had every food you can imagine and show cooking different questions, fresh steaks and fresh fish cooked for you and in front of you) then the son stood up and said very loudly ‘I wasn’t going to tell you this but the hotel manager took me aside yesterday and said your attitude towards the staff has been upsetting them and is wrong’ and then the whole family stormed off to another table leaving the older dad and his poor, poor wife just sitting there. They sat there in silence for about an hour and then left. So yes, some people are clearly miserable fuckers.

AuntieBiotics · 04/09/2026 08:50

I came across a man like this on the last cruise I was working on. We had only been on board about 2 hours and I was helping hosting a table for singles at a social gert together and he just moaned about everything - he didn't like his cabin, the bed was too hard, the bathroom too small, he wanted a port cabin and they gave him a starboard, the prices were expensive, they didn't have his preferred brand of gin at the bar, the entertainment started too late, he didn't like the dress code, the weather forecast looked poor, he didn't like the choice of shore tours - it just went on and on and on. Much eye rolling from the other guests on the table.

FancyKitten · 04/09/2026 08:46

justsmileabitffs · 03/09/2026 17:36

I was baffled by the fact we’re in Italy and they ended up going for a KFC!

This is exactly what I was thinking! Mad…

crackofdoom · 04/09/2026 08:45

A great example is the street where I live. Newbuild housing association properties. They are genuinely lovely houses, and the HA is very responsive and fast with repairs and niggles.

You wouldn't believe the bellyaching from my neighbours when we moved in. "This is wrong....that is wrong....bloody HA, just bloody typical...."

Mate, we've got brand new social housing- in 2016. All of us in this row were in expensive, insecure, cramped private rented accommodation beforehand. We've effectively won the fucking lottery and you're still complaining?!

aLFIESMA · 04/09/2026 08:43

moppety · 04/09/2026 07:15

Some people just have a really negative outlook on life, always looking to be offended, assuming the worst, nothing is ever good enough. I do feel sorry for them as it can’t be a nice way to live. Perspective is really important in life I think.

I've often noticed they have utterly no interest in anything which doesn't directly affect themselves too.
The self absorbed rarely make good company!
I believe there may well be a 'happiness setting' in life!

Compactwallet · 04/09/2026 08:41

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Compactwallet · 04/09/2026 08:40

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IAmInTheHouseSidney · 04/09/2026 08:40

justsmileabitffs · 03/09/2026 17:36

I was baffled by the fact we’re in Italy and they ended up going for a KFC!

Ww always taste local maccies or kfc special 😁

Yes. Some people are misers like it's a sport or personal achievement

crackofdoom · 04/09/2026 08:36

Dappy777 · 03/09/2026 18:09

A lot of people suffer from a kind of low level depression. That then manifests as constant niggling and complaining. It’s striking how unhappy so many people truly are.

This is true in so many cases. I had an ex who suffered terribly with bipolar, and you could tell when he was on a downward slide because he started complaining about random stuff and his use of the word "shite" suddenly leapt up.

However, to a degree it's a state of mind (not referring to people like my ex, who was very unwell and trying hard to get better). I used to suffer from low mood, and to a large degree I managed to gee myself out of it and have a generally positive outlook on life nowadays.

BrezhnevsLuxuriantEyebrows · 04/09/2026 08:30

I never understand the people who identify TV programmes that they hate and then still tune in to watch them every week/day... only to perpetually complain that they hate them!

TeenLifeMum · 04/09/2026 08:27

Our last holiday was a gorgeous hotel in Greece. We had zero complaints or even niggles yet we heard an older couple complaining about “the sunbed situation” as they could never find 2 together. This baffled us as we’re a family of 5 and had had no issues around 3 of the 4 pools. One pool we avoided as it was the party pool and loud. complainers love to complain. my parents have become very glass half empty people so I’m determined to avoid that.

Traitorsclaudia · 04/09/2026 08:27

My parents are like this - went to our nearest city yesterday, it rained. They knew it would rain because of the forecast, went anyway, complained. There were school kids everywhere, I'd already told them that lots of schools were still on summer break, still complained. They go to the same Costa every week, complain about the same thing every week. Took them out for a theatre trip, they complained about the seats, about the other people. I actually think they can't let themselves have a nice time.

I catch myself doing the misery spiral sometimes and put a stop to it!

Carouseloflife · 04/09/2026 08:27

Some people just love a moan fest.

FlowerFail · 04/09/2026 08:24

Girasoli · 04/09/2026 07:01

What lake are you off to?
My mum's from Milan and my dad's from near lake Como 😊

If you are getting the train don't forget to validate your ticket! That often trips tourists up.

That’s handy to know ( ticket thing). 🙂

justsmileabitffs · 04/09/2026 08:22

HelloCheekyCat · 04/09/2026 07:41

I always go to McDonald's in Spain or Italy because they have gluten free buns which is a rare treat - all other food that is eaten is in keeping with the local cuisine though. I'm not aware of KFC doing anything special though 😆

Oh I totally plan on having a McDonald’s before I leave because the menu looks so different to ours, but not before I’ve tried the local food!

OP posts:
BrezhnevsLuxuriantEyebrows · 04/09/2026 08:16

Vienna - too cold, too far to walk

To be fair, if she's going there from the UK and not taking a plane or a car like most people do, she's not wrong Grin

It does seem paradoxical that, for some people, being miserable is the only thing that actually makes them happy. Everything going just perfectly for them would be their worst nightmare ever.

FlowerFail · 04/09/2026 08:15

Rubydobydo · 03/09/2026 18:18

I’ve recently washed my hands of someone I’ve tolerated for the past 12 years as I can no longer listen to her (nor look at that miserable face).
In theory she’s well travelled but in practice she can relate nothing about anywhere she’s visited other than the negative effect on her. Rome - too hot, too many foreign people. Vienna - too cold, too far to walk.
Now they holiday four times a year at the same hotel in Lanzarote, never leaving, eating the British food on an all inclusive basis and still moan.

Totally wasted on them, Lamzarote is a lovely place to explore with a car, the supermarkets have lovely food, the place is a joy.

Envy the thief of happiness. 🤣🤣🤣

Rubydobydo · 04/09/2026 07:55

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Is that not a statement of fact rather than, as you accuse, a moan?

RampantIvy · 04/09/2026 07:46

justsmileabitffs · 03/09/2026 17:36

I was baffled by the fact we’re in Italy and they ended up going for a KFC!

That would have me judging them for sure.