AIBU to feel middle-class luxuries have become increasingly out of reach?

This.

Years ago people saved, why do some posters make it sound like everyone frittered money away like it was nothing. People really didn't.

People tgat chuck money around often have debts, credit cards etc and have little real wealth

@cocobow It really wasn't nice fabric! She'd buy the cheapest stuff off the market. Her dresses were all the same style, summer and winter. She really wasn't interested in clothes, makeup or appearance. Her main passion was maths.

I won't buy Apple products partly for that reason.

I totally agree. It cost £100 easily for a meal for 2 - at my local pub! Sowe just stopped doing it. I’m on a decent wage and I have to be very cautious with my outgoings. It must be so soul destroying if you have a fixed income / minimum wage.

everything is increasing in price so fast it’s just not sustainable. It’s no wonder that restaurants and pubs are closing down - who has that sort of disposable income?!

and food prices are just ridiculous

Yes apple are horrendous. I've recently had to stop using my ipod.

I think mobile phones are a bit of a red herring. I am SIM only but they have built-in obsolescence (Apple are the worst for this). Most phone contracts now are three years and by the end of that the battery holds a charge for about half a day. You can't replace them on a market stall any more either.

Back in 2006 when I worked for PC World you had to buy your own broadband router too for £59.99, pay for a BT landline, and many many people were on PAYG spending the equivalent of a lot more than £30pm is today on per-minute calls and 10p texts. My contract until recently for a Google Pixel was £31pcm.

At no point have I said mobile phones are classed as a luxury?

I do think that there's a big difference between a mid range, out of contract or second hand smartphone that works perfectly well and does everything you need for 'everyday life' (cost, about £5 a month on giff gaff or similar) is very different to buying the newest iphone at £45 a month, though. One is clearly a luxury - you might not be able to buy a house with the difference but £500 extra a year in savings will be a very good starter!

TBH, I find being deprived of little things more upsetting than bigger ones. I can happily forego a holiday but wouldn't like to miss a picnic/countyside day, same with restuarant verses coffee shop. I still get a thrill from buying a 'new' book even if it's from a charity shop!
When I'm on a budget I seem to need a treat more so try to come up with alternative 'feel goods' like the flask coffee & charity shop book.
I think it's actually easier to budget 'hardcore' when you factor in a treat, keeps the morale up, instead of feeling low & buying something unplanned to cheer one's self!
Then feeling guilty as well as low.....

My mum did! Actually, she didn't need to but she hated shopping - and especially clothes shopping. She also hated spending money. She made her own clothes, cut her own hair, never ate out. Her only treats were the occasional jigsaw. Even so, I think she was just as happy as anyone else. It depends what gives you pleasure.

@Thegirlwhowent @latetothefisting Mobile phones can't really be classed as a luxury when not having one locks you out of a lot of everyday life. A car is a grey area. Yes, many who have them don't need them, but cars are sometimes the only way of getting to work. Takeaways are of course a luxury, but the OP's point is that it's a stretch for many to afford even discretionary spending on modest treats like coffee and cakes, never mind restaurant meals and takeaways. So to say you'd have disposable money if you didn't have takeaways is circular. Takeaway money IS disposable money, and those who have takeaways aren't stretched and aren't the focus of the original posting.

@cocobow
I often wonder how, the people that i know who live their lives with all the trimmings somehow manage to do it 🤔!

I'm sorry to hear that. I hope he had life insurance or a death in service payment.

Are you in the uk? Are you eligible for Bereavement Benefit?
https://www.gov.uk/bereavement-support-payment

@latetothefisting I agree. You are right. There have always been spenders and savers. There have always been choices about what to spend money on. There are always things we regard as expensive luxuries and things we see as necessities.

yeah, nobody ever bought random small luxuries before 2010 🙄

25/50 years ago far more people smoked, there were 111 pubs per 100,000 people (now there are less than 58 per 100,000), in the 1940s the average person went to the cinema 33 times a year, in 1974 alone 109 million albums were sold on record.

Before online shopping people bought things from catalogues and door to door salesman, betting was on the dogs/horses/pools lottery rather than online gambling. Buying things on tick was common before credit cards.

People only didn't buy new iphones 20/30/50 years ago because they didn't exist, not because they were more financially prudent!

There have always been savers and spenders, the only difference is what people buy.

I agree. We forget that lots of things we take for granted now weren't even available back then. If we gave up our mobile phones, internet, car, takeaways etc we'd have more disposable income, but we've grown to expect all those modern conveniences. They all cost money.

Yanbu. For a lot of people (me included) salaries haven't increased much but frozen tax bands and higher taxes as well as inflation have hit hard.

I don't buy takeaways and rarely eat out. Never buy coffee out. My biggest 'luxuries' are included in my weekly tesco shop that gets delivered -maybe some bubble bath or chocolates etc.

It seems wrong that there's little yo aspire to - even a meagre pay rise doesn't equate to much due to the frozen tax bands. I remember when tax bands increased most years, that was when life was good, until covid hit....

Seasalt patterned stuff is very hit and miss but their plain cotton tops are excellent, come in interesting colours and last really well. Over the last half decade I've built up a good collection of them.

@Blossomtoes I used to think the same thing. Then during the first lockdown I saw a lovely top in window. Went home and ordered it online. Much more recently was given a seasalt cardigan which I love. Wondered if I should reconsider my prejudice, so this summer had a look at dresses. They looked dowdy on racks and, trying on some, found they looked terrible, but then I found one that looked like nothing. Tried it on and it was perfect and have worn it all summer. Sorry, didn't mean @Blossomtoes. Was addressing @hoarderofthedough .

I agree with @limeshade. It's sad that coffee and cakes are out of many people's reach. The cost of meals out is so high now, and coffee shops and cafés allow for a lower key way to be out and about, part of the world, important when there's so much homeworking. A drink and your favourite cake/pastry can go a long way towards brightening a lacklustre day, whether alone or with friends.